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Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Choices, Cultures, Chaos"A Flash Fiction Collection
30 total reviews
Comment from themundanegirl
Good morning,
You have a captivating way of telling a story. Writing about such a touchy subject can be hard as many will have adverse opinions regarding it but I think you did so wonderfully.
You made it easy to connect with and understand the troubles that the characters were facing.
Thank you for sharing!
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Good morning,
You have a captivating way of telling a story. Writing about such a touchy subject can be hard as many will have adverse opinions regarding it but I think you did so wonderfully.
You made it easy to connect with and understand the troubles that the characters were facing.
Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 31-Jul-2023
Comment from royowen
I've grown up, and raised a family in a relatively safe and reasonably secure neighbourhood , not rich, but a fairly good community minded place, originally our city was created with 50% British and European immigrants in mind, so it was a young, upbeat satellite city, there are a lot more African and Asian immigrants now, but it's still a good neighbourhood, but still good, even the greater community statewide really. Well done, I guess I would move too if gang violence was here, beautifully written, blessings Roy
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I've grown up, and raised a family in a relatively safe and reasonably secure neighbourhood , not rich, but a fairly good community minded place, originally our city was created with 50% British and European immigrants in mind, so it was a young, upbeat satellite city, there are a lot more African and Asian immigrants now, but it's still a good neighbourhood, but still good, even the greater community statewide really. Well done, I guess I would move too if gang violence was here, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 31-Jul-2023
Comment from JSD
Get what you're doing, absolutely. As a teacher I was instructed not to read the word in 'Of Mice and Men' out loud. I had always taught that it is essential for kids to hear the racism so that they are incensed by it. Context everything, as you say. We hear it in films and tv dramas, used in a way that gives context - black people use it all the time about each other. So it's fine, and it is an interesting and thought-provoking piece of writing.
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Get what you're doing, absolutely. As a teacher I was instructed not to read the word in 'Of Mice and Men' out loud. I had always taught that it is essential for kids to hear the racism so that they are incensed by it. Context everything, as you say. We hear it in films and tv dramas, used in a way that gives context - black people use it all the time about each other. So it's fine, and it is an interesting and thought-provoking piece of writing.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2023
Comment from bob cullen
Sir, don't apologise. Sometimes it's difficult, or even dangerous to speak the truth. But, we owe it to ourselves and to our communities that that same truth must be highlighted. Surely, History shows the distorters must be corrected.
This is an outstanding write.
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Sir, don't apologise. Sometimes it's difficult, or even dangerous to speak the truth. But, we owe it to ourselves and to our communities that that same truth must be highlighted. Surely, History shows the distorters must be corrected.
This is an outstanding write.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2023
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Wow, wow, wow. This is like the wild west, for gawd sake. Ugh. Thank you for being so brave as to write this story and then post the video. I think you're so right that people want to turn a blind eye to it. I admire you very much.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Wow, wow, wow. This is like the wild west, for gawd sake. Ugh. Thank you for being so brave as to write this story and then post the video. I think you're so right that people want to turn a blind eye to it. I admire you very much.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much.
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Thank you, too. This was an important message. xo
Comment from LJbutterfly
As I read, I immediately remembered Charles Bronson in movies where he play a vigilante determined to eliminate the young gangsters terrorizing the neighborhood. Based on the horrors portrayed in the video you included, it's obvious your story is not an exaggeration. I'm just glad that in fiction, the couple is able to more away, something not always possible in real life. Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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As I read, I immediately remembered Charles Bronson in movies where he play a vigilante determined to eliminate the young gangsters terrorizing the neighborhood. Based on the horrors portrayed in the video you included, it's obvious your story is not an exaggeration. I'm just glad that in fiction, the couple is able to more away, something not always possible in real life. Well done.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much. It's fiction but unfortunately, it is a conversation I and my wife are having, as we've seen our once quiet and peaceful community change for the worse.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Lance, I can understand when people reach their limit. There's only so much you can take. And they make the choice to move away. Although I'm half American I have never lived there. I have spent much time in the US, throughout my life and I'm not counting holidays. My brother and family live in Mass. We share the same father.
I don't like the N word. I find it very offensive. But I have great sympathy with your characters in your story. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Hi Lance, I can understand when people reach their limit. There's only so much you can take. And they make the choice to move away. Although I'm half American I have never lived there. I have spent much time in the US, throughout my life and I'm not counting holidays. My brother and family live in Mass. We share the same father.
I don't like the N word. I find it very offensive. But I have great sympathy with your characters in your story. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 30-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much.
Some people do find "The N-word" very offensive. It is usually those people who are never called it, and they can never explain why it's so offensive. Which is strange. But context matters in writing, and language. It is context which makes something offensive or not. This is something writers and artists know better than anyone. Ask all the platinum selling, millionaire rappers and hip-hop artists who've won multiple NAACP, BET, and Grammy awards using the "N-word" more than a Klansman ever did.
I work in a prison. I can't count the number of times I hear the actual word every day. Maybe one day I will write about just that word, and highlight all the controversy, confusion, and contradiction behind it.
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Well, it's maybe so, but I still find it so very derogative, and I'm no prude. All best. Ulla :)))
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Those who work hard for what they have are getting tired of it being taken from them. You laid the truth on the line. This is also true with it comes in illegal aliens. Thos who came across legally aren't at all happy about what's happening. You speak the truth. This didn't come into my PM box. I'm not sure why.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Those who work hard for what they have are getting tired of it being taken from them. You laid the truth on the line. This is also true with it comes in illegal aliens. Thos who came across legally aren't at all happy about what's happening. You speak the truth. This didn't come into my PM box. I'm not sure why.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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It was originally a contest entry, but they disqualified me, and made up a list of bogus reasons for doing it, by a unanimous vote.
Thank you.
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That's horrible. I'm sorry it happened.
Comment from judiverse
You wrote a great story, even if it didn't pass muster with the Committee. I suspect political correctness played a part in it being disqualified. It's understandable that blacks can also feel threatened and turn against black youth who are terrorizing their community. Many progressives tend to ignore the lawlessness, the weekends of shootings, etc. committed by these gangs. If a black person dares to speak out against it, they are subjected to a lot of criticism. There was a black state congresswoman who recently switched from Democrat to Republican because she was fed up with her party's policies, and she came in for a lot of grief over it. Some even think it's okay for these black youth to steal because of their impoverished backgrounds. Tameka has made so many attempts to help the community but has been scorned for her efforts. Jaylen is right that these louts are not his people. More blacks should disavow them as Jaylen did. I think some are silent because they are afraid. They';; suffer reprisal from the gangs or be accused of turning against their own people. Great story. judi
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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You wrote a great story, even if it didn't pass muster with the Committee. I suspect political correctness played a part in it being disqualified. It's understandable that blacks can also feel threatened and turn against black youth who are terrorizing their community. Many progressives tend to ignore the lawlessness, the weekends of shootings, etc. committed by these gangs. If a black person dares to speak out against it, they are subjected to a lot of criticism. There was a black state congresswoman who recently switched from Democrat to Republican because she was fed up with her party's policies, and she came in for a lot of grief over it. Some even think it's okay for these black youth to steal because of their impoverished backgrounds. Tameka has made so many attempts to help the community but has been scorned for her efforts. Jaylen is right that these louts are not his people. More blacks should disavow them as Jaylen did. I think some are silent because they are afraid. They';; suffer reprisal from the gangs or be accused of turning against their own people. Great story. judi
Comment Written 30-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much.
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You're welcome. It'll probably be a Story of the Month nominee. judi
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LOL. I seriously doubt that. Ha, ha.
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I suppose a different committee selects the Story of the Month nominees. They've allowed some contoversial articles in. judi
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Well, what can I say that hasn't been said. The issue is dead once those in charge put their kibosh on something. Yes, the story was sorta raw, and maybe did not address helping ONE person, but what I read seems to be verifiable.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Well, what can I say that hasn't been said. The issue is dead once those in charge put their kibosh on something. Yes, the story was sorta raw, and maybe did not address helping ONE person, but what I read seems to be verifiable.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much.