Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Without a doubt you are passionate! Maria Jose (Heather Knight) probably can relate to this poem and she's Spanish, too. I especially like "like a jealous burning sun midst a thousand dying stars" to show the passion and the undeniable distance. And despite the faded daisy's "loves me not" decision, the narrator takes comfort in having once been his other half.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023

Yes, you get it. (*÷*)

Thank you very much for the excellent review, big sister..... may you have a wonderful and restful night.

Love xoxo

Marival

reply by lyenochka on 23-Jul-2023

💖 Sweet dreams, MariVal!

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

i've read the second tanka 3 times... i keep tripping from the third to the fourth line - doesn't really flow smoothly into the fourth line... or it could be just me lol

still a good tanka suite
thank you for sharing
shelley :)


p.s. the fanstory gremlin is out with his question marks lol

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023

Technically, thanks is divided in two parts. The top describes an image ending with a dash. The bottom part uses poetic devices and brings it all together. I do write tanka that read like one sentence but you don't have to.

Thank you very much for the excellent review. :) have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Jasmine Girl

Excellent

This is a very passionate poem with its words and the red and hot color. The jealous brining sun is super hot and I can see it, even feel it. Yes you are his.

I wish I had a six.

Excellent.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023

Thank you very much for the excellent review. :) have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

How sad. Perhaps you were his in another life. Is it possible you deserve better in this one? Or perhaps your poem is all imagination. Either way, I enjoyed reading it.

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 Comment Written 22-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023

Yes, it's a fictional poem. :)

Thank you very much for the excellent review. :) have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

I really liked the thought process in this. The narrator is torn between the want of a love and the fantasy of what she feels. She feels connected to the lover even if it was from another time and place. Gretchen

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 Comment Written 22-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023

Yes, you got it. :)

Thank you very much for the excellent review. :) have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs