Flamingo at the Beach
Typical outing with my mother...20 total reviews
Comment from visionary1234
Love this piece, Greg! It's grown richer with time! Your rich imagery & metaphors are perfect ... unique.
Only you could write this: "We flipped the kayak over, watching the cigarette butts and beer bottles fall out like a waterfall of bad choices."
Love your sad story that made me reluctantly laugh in so many wonderful places. Love your self deprecating humor and your sharp eye for detail. Well done!!! One of your best!!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
  |
Love this piece, Greg! It's grown richer with time! Your rich imagery & metaphors are perfect ... unique.
Only you could write this: "We flipped the kayak over, watching the cigarette butts and beer bottles fall out like a waterfall of bad choices."
Love your sad story that made me reluctantly laugh in so many wonderful places. Love your self deprecating humor and your sharp eye for detail. Well done!!! One of your best!!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
-
I'm Genuinely really happy that you see a difference. SERIOUSLY that is AWESOME!!
Comment from Jay Squires
You don't have to thank anyone for reading the whole thing, Cody. Once they start they won't put it down. Your humor carries the reader through beautifully, as always. We empathize over the hand you were dealt, but we don't entirely hate your mother, either. In her inept way she was performing as only she could perform, and it wasn't without some cockamamie love for you. As if it were needed ... Ray added comic relief, almost vaudeville style. Just a few notes:
the police were dispatched for public intoxication, [It would probably be a good idea to mention whose public intoxication ... otherwise it would offer a good reason for your extreme sunburn. (I wrote this before I got to the ending. I can understand why you wouldn't want to give it away prematurely.) ]
I sprinted to the water staring at me. [I don't like the image of water "staring".]
his fingers had weaved themselves into the nylon. [had woven is the preferred usage here, according to my research.]
You wait far too long between your postings that we all love so much!
Jay
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
 |
You don't have to thank anyone for reading the whole thing, Cody. Once they start they won't put it down. Your humor carries the reader through beautifully, as always. We empathize over the hand you were dealt, but we don't entirely hate your mother, either. In her inept way she was performing as only she could perform, and it wasn't without some cockamamie love for you. As if it were needed ... Ray added comic relief, almost vaudeville style. Just a few notes:
the police were dispatched for public intoxication, [It would probably be a good idea to mention whose public intoxication ... otherwise it would offer a good reason for your extreme sunburn. (I wrote this before I got to the ending. I can understand why you wouldn't want to give it away prematurely.) ]
I sprinted to the water staring at me. [I don't like the image of water "staring".]
his fingers had weaved themselves into the nylon. [had woven is the preferred usage here, according to my research.]
You wait far too long between your postings that we all love so much!
Jay
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
-
Wow you are the best. I put off replying bc I wanted to surprise you by hopefully placing. Oh well.
I'm GRATEFUL that you read this. Really.
And YES your edits. I am going to change it in the original that I have. Perfect.
It's SO GENEROUS TO share that with me. Your thoughts.
I better have a nomination left :)
-
That's okay, Gregory. Don't worry about a nomination.
Jay
-
No no man I did not have one. You deserve it every time. Thank you Jay, sincerely
-
Always my pleasure just seeing you here.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The literary technique of juxtaposition carries much of the message of this account: "The beach can often be a source of peace, even harmony to normal families." A line to elicit a gallows chuckle: "People either thought that I had knitted the hat myself or that she had escaped from an adult living center." Good use of metaphors. I will hope for more chapters. Was this therapeutic? I'm finding writing my autobiography very therapeutic. I cry, I rage, I laugh.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
|
The literary technique of juxtaposition carries much of the message of this account: "The beach can often be a source of peace, even harmony to normal families." A line to elicit a gallows chuckle: "People either thought that I had knitted the hat myself or that she had escaped from an adult living center." Good use of metaphors. I will hope for more chapters. Was this therapeutic? I'm finding writing my autobiography very therapeutic. I cry, I rage, I laugh.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
-
Thank you!!
It's weird. It's hard to write at times. I get nervous and put it off. I don't get it.
How about you?
Any luck?
I'd love to hear and hopefully read?
Thank you again :)
-
I'm mostly write about myself, formyself.
Nothing to be nervous about. Just think, I'm writing for Liz who only gives positive reviews...lol
-
That's Great advice ;)
-
***Smile***
Comment from Pantygynt
So I shall consider myself duly thanked since I did read all of it. I found it an enjoyable task but I have always enjoyed your tales of your crazy family. I have to admit to showering in the dark on one occasion when the light bulb blew.
In this country we have people who go to sea on blow up pink flamingoes that are not only the colour but the shape of of the bird, but I have yet to see anyone sing one as a croquet mallet like Alice.
So you see your family is more international than weird really.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
|
So I shall consider myself duly thanked since I did read all of it. I found it an enjoyable task but I have always enjoyed your tales of your crazy family. I have to admit to showering in the dark on one occasion when the light bulb blew.
In this country we have people who go to sea on blow up pink flamingoes that are not only the colour but the shape of of the bird, but I have yet to see anyone sing one as a croquet mallet like Alice.
So you see your family is more international than weird really.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
-
I just replied a long message and it erased. Ugh.
But ultimately I would've responded sooner if I saw your name!!
Thank you so very much for this man, really.
Comment from royowen
You poor soul, I can remember my mother coming to my school, other than coming for parent/teacher interviews and the embarrassment, but it was just the murmurings of self absorption. But this is real embarrassment, and lack of care, but I do remember those days, I never went brown, I was a redhead, I envied my friend's tanned bodies, but wasn't aware of sun damage, we cover our kids with cream to ward off sun burn now. Beautifully written Gregory, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
|
You poor soul, I can remember my mother coming to my school, other than coming for parent/teacher interviews and the embarrassment, but it was just the murmurings of self absorption. But this is real embarrassment, and lack of care, but I do remember those days, I never went brown, I was a redhead, I envied my friend's tanned bodies, but wasn't aware of sun damage, we cover our kids with cream to ward off sun burn now. Beautifully written Gregory, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
-
Hey Roy!!
Thank you so much man!!
Incredibly kind that you read this.
I was happy to see your name here :)
-
Most welcome
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Whenever I find a writer who can keep a sense of humor under duress of this magnitude, I can't help but marvel at his or her pluck.
I love your point of view --kind of like that of Cousin Marilyn from The Munsters tv show. (You're very young, so I'm going to fill you in a little here: The Munster family was comprised of a (friendly) Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, a vampire (Bride's father) and a young werewolf (Frankenstein/Bride of Frankenstein's son). Cousin Marilyn, who lived with them, looked like Doris Day when she was young--blonde, super pretty, shapely, very friendly and All-American. The Munsters always referred to her with pity.) Did you ever read The Glass Castle? This also reminded me of that book which I absolutely love/hated because of how the kids struggled because of the shortcomings of the parents.
Anyway, you have made the MOST perfect lemonade from your lemons, and I applaud you for it. A lesser man would have crumbled and possibly self-destructed. But you, instead, found a way to not just live through it but thrive. I respect and admire you with all my heart.
This is sure to make it to the winner's circle. Good luck in the contest, awesome writer! xo
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
|
Whenever I find a writer who can keep a sense of humor under duress of this magnitude, I can't help but marvel at his or her pluck.
I love your point of view --kind of like that of Cousin Marilyn from The Munsters tv show. (You're very young, so I'm going to fill you in a little here: The Munster family was comprised of a (friendly) Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, a vampire (Bride's father) and a young werewolf (Frankenstein/Bride of Frankenstein's son). Cousin Marilyn, who lived with them, looked like Doris Day when she was young--blonde, super pretty, shapely, very friendly and All-American. The Munsters always referred to her with pity.) Did you ever read The Glass Castle? This also reminded me of that book which I absolutely love/hated because of how the kids struggled because of the shortcomings of the parents.
Anyway, you have made the MOST perfect lemonade from your lemons, and I applaud you for it. A lesser man would have crumbled and possibly self-destructed. But you, instead, found a way to not just live through it but thrive. I respect and admire you with all my heart.
This is sure to make it to the winner's circle. Good luck in the contest, awesome writer! xo
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
-
Wow this is a GREAT review Rachelle!!
Thank you again, I'm happy to have met you
-
Right back atcha, Cute Boy! xo
Comment from prettybluebirds
Well, at least you can't say you didn't have and interesting childhood. I didn't realize this was a true story until the ending. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
|
Well, at least you can't say you didn't have and interesting childhood. I didn't realize this was a true story until the ending. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
-
Hahaha I know! thank you :)
Comment from BethShelby
It is like watching the funniest movie made to read a story about your life with your Mom. Even normal mothers tend to embarrass their children, but if yours is as you describe her, I'm sure you would like to be invisible. I know this one is bound to win if making people laugh is the object. I love as always. I wish you posted more stories.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
|
It is like watching the funniest movie made to read a story about your life with your Mom. Even normal mothers tend to embarrass their children, but if yours is as you describe her, I'm sure you would like to be invisible. I know this one is bound to win if making people laugh is the object. I love as always. I wish you posted more stories.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
-
WOWWWW. Thank you!!
This made me so happy to see. I'm honored. Really.
These stories are my life and 100% true. If you Google Chasing Crazy Gregory Cody maybe something will pop up. I have a collection I'm working on. It takes a lot out of me so I procrastinate. But my dream would be to get them all into a book :)
You are Great!!
Comment from w.j.debi
You have an engaging narrative voice. A day at the beach has some perks, but also those embarrassing adults that took you there in the first place. You tell the story with empathy from the POV of a young boy who is just trying his best.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
|
You have an engaging narrative voice. A day at the beach has some perks, but also those embarrassing adults that took you there in the first place. You tell the story with empathy from the POV of a young boy who is just trying his best.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
-
Thanks so very much!!
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
|
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
-
Thank you very much Doctor Ricky!