A Boy's Dilemma
Hoping you will understand ...15 total reviews
Comment from Faith Williams
I could see your story in a poem play out in my head as I read it. And you managed to work in so many different adjectives for confused: baffled, befuddled, kerfuffle which made me chuckle.
One suggestion to consider:
In the sentence, 'He looked at them unknowing what to do' I found the meter to be a little off. Maybe switch out 'unknowing' to unsure'? Again, just a suggestion.
A lovely piece. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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I could see your story in a poem play out in my head as I read it. And you managed to work in so many different adjectives for confused: baffled, befuddled, kerfuffle which made me chuckle.
One suggestion to consider:
In the sentence, 'He looked at them unknowing what to do' I found the meter to be a little off. Maybe switch out 'unknowing' to unsure'? Again, just a suggestion.
A lovely piece. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Appreciate the remark. Thanks for the read. Always yours, T.H.
Comment from Richard Montfort Cary
Tom,
This sweet poem reveals the gentle softie of your persona. Well constructed with random stanza lengths and nicely rhymed without being imposed. Nice job!
Richard
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Tom,
This sweet poem reveals the gentle softie of your persona. Well constructed with random stanza lengths and nicely rhymed without being imposed. Nice job!
Richard
Comment Written 18-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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It's my own form; just like you have.
Why not venture into the unknown? Spock and Kirk did.
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I believe in the poem having it's own form when it comes out that way. I tend to leave it up the Muse...
Comment from JT traveller
Good, clean fun poetry. Written by someone who clearly has enjoyed the pleasure of a child's company.
I enjoyed the photograph. Yet another eloquent write, Tom. Jacqueline
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Good, clean fun poetry. Written by someone who clearly has enjoyed the pleasure of a child's company.
I enjoyed the photograph. Yet another eloquent write, Tom. Jacqueline
Comment Written 18-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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HAD ... my kids are long gone, and unless I decide to go for a walk among the young, the pics I have will be all I have to share.
Thanks for the remark.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Very cute little story fields with very original words that I think are of Deutch origin. The most important thing is that mother and son are reunited in their quest to feel left and right.
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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Very cute little story fields with very original words that I think are of Deutch origin. The most important thing is that mother and son are reunited in their quest to feel left and right.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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How sweet of you to comment. Bedankt.
Comment from BethShelby
This is a cute story poem. The picture is adorable but this kid looks like he has only four fingers on his left hand and the look awfully short. No wonder he confused. He may never learn how to count.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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This is a cute story poem. The picture is adorable but this kid looks like he has only four fingers on his left hand and the look awfully short. No wonder he confused. He may never learn how to count.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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I did not notice his thumb was behind the hand. Good spot.
Cute was my aim. Glad to hear I hit my target.
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I did not notice his thumb was behind the hand. Good spot.
Cute was my aim. Glad to hear I hit my target.
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I did not notice his thumb was behind the hand. Good spot.
Cute was my aim. Glad to hear I hit my target.