A Fool and His Money......
Just when you think you know someone28 total reviews
Comment from royowen
You've constructed this story extremely well, and you seem to know what you're talking about, it's not the best hands that necessarily win over all, it's the smart, cool cookies that will win overall, trouble is the smart ones can meet other smart ones. Beautifully written my dear girl, a most enjoyable post. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
You've constructed this story extremely well, and you seem to know what you're talking about, it's not the best hands that necessarily win over all, it's the smart, cool cookies that will win overall, trouble is the smart ones can meet other smart ones. Beautifully written my dear girl, a most enjoyable post. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 17-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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Roy, you are so kind, l appreciate you and your very awesome review and comments for my first fiction. . Thankyou so much!,
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Most welcome
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Roy, you are so kind, l appreciate you and your very awesome review and comments for my first fiction. . Thankyou so much!,
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It?s very good
Comment from Ulla
And I think you handled it very well, Debi. It's an enjoyable story about a game which can potentially carry some hig stakes. And here it did, but Seth got away with it. You should write more prose, actually. All the best of luck, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
And I think you handled it very well, Debi. It's an enjoyable story about a game which can potentially carry some hig stakes. And here it did, but Seth got away with it. You should write more prose, actually. All the best of luck, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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Thanks Ulla for the very sweet review and comments for my Poker party story. You are so very kind and I appreciate it so very much. Thanks again
Comment from Paul McFarland
You had me going, Debi. I didn't know this was fiction until I read your notes. This was a really good job - especially for your first attempt at fiction.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
You had me going, Debi. I didn't know this was fiction until I read your notes. This was a really good job - especially for your first attempt at fiction.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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Thanks Paul for the very sweet review and comments for my Poker party story. You are so very kind and I appreciate it so very much. Thanks again
Comment from Bill Schott
Wow! That was quite an exciting game with a lot of jing out on the table. Seth had wound up pulling off the big sting on James, and winning his all-too-tasty dollars.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
Wow! That was quite an exciting game with a lot of jing out on the table. Seth had wound up pulling off the big sting on James, and winning his all-too-tasty dollars.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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Thanks Bill for the very sweet review and comments for my Creation poem. You are so very kind and I appreciate it so very much. Thanks again
And It is an honor to be sharing the lead with you at this very moment.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Debi, this is the funniest story ever. I could picture everyone at the table and "you" think you'd save Seth from making a huge mistake. Strategy pays off in the end, lol.
Great story, wonderful punch line, all-in-all great package!
Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
Hi Debi, this is the funniest story ever. I could picture everyone at the table and "you" think you'd save Seth from making a huge mistake. Strategy pays off in the end, lol.
Great story, wonderful punch line, all-in-all great package!
Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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Thanks Rhonda for the very sweet review and comments for my silly fiction poker story. You are so very kind and I appreciate it so very much. Thanks again for your big heart and also for the six stars. I appreciate it all so very much.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poker playing story, Debi. You did a
great job with this contest entry. I liked the organization
of the story. You gave readers important details about the
event to keep them focused on the plot. While Seth seemed
to be a novice, I believe it was all part of his plan. He'd scoped
out James and knew how to use his info to the best of his ability.
James was a big buffoon who thought no one would dare cross
him or beat him. He was the fool with the money. I liked that Seth
reminded him of his own words when James figured he was done.
I believe in all the planning etc. Seth had done, he didn't figure
on his girlfriend joining the game. However, it turned out ok in the
long run because of James' stupidity.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
I enjoyed your poker playing story, Debi. You did a
great job with this contest entry. I liked the organization
of the story. You gave readers important details about the
event to keep them focused on the plot. While Seth seemed
to be a novice, I believe it was all part of his plan. He'd scoped
out James and knew how to use his info to the best of his ability.
James was a big buffoon who thought no one would dare cross
him or beat him. He was the fool with the money. I liked that Seth
reminded him of his own words when James figured he was done.
I believe in all the planning etc. Seth had done, he didn't figure
on his girlfriend joining the game. However, it turned out ok in the
long run because of James' stupidity.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2023
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As always Jan, you are such an insightful and delightful reviewer. Not to mention caring and kind friend and helpful lovely woman. I can only imagine what kind of a teacher you were, as you are a wonderful person. Thanks for the very kind comments and the gracious six stars too. I appreciate you ALWAYS!!!
Comment from w.j.debi
You did a great job with this story. You built the suspense well and had me wondering how you were going to rescue your date from his bad choices. Turns out, he was smarter than anyone gave him credit for.
This almost begs a sequel, What will James do to get revenge? LOL
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2023
You did a great job with this story. You built the suspense well and had me wondering how you were going to rescue your date from his bad choices. Turns out, he was smarter than anyone gave him credit for.
This almost begs a sequel, What will James do to get revenge? LOL
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2023
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Awe Debi, you may be right. Only this time I will go head on with one and let him rescue me. Lol, even tho it was fiction, I thought Seth was a nice guy so he paid me back for the $2000. I had in the post trying to save him. Hey, that would be a good start to the sequel.. thanks for the awesome idea, Debi. That still feels weird spelling someone else the same way mine is spelled. Anyway I hear not everyone knows what eating crow is, so it may sound kinda funny to some. Maybe I should write that in my notes?
Thanks for everything my dear friend!
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I assumed like you that everyone understood 'eating crow', but we are a worldwide site so I guess it must be a regional thing.
I'll look forward to the sequel.
Comment from Paul Manton
Outstanding, Debi. I laughed out loud at your last line! (Most Brits don't know that saying - but I also speak American!)
Very little you can improve: personally, I would omit 'However, the cheating . . personal gain.' because that's an unnecessary justification and slows the story down.
You have 'five card draw. that was only played . . ' so maybe a typo.
'as what he kept on him' - lose the 'what'.
a really good narrative, Debi - and really well drawn antagonists in Seth and James.
I think that I will keep out of poker games with you two - even though my dad taught me a every game under the sun - I think I prefer to keep my bank account in the black!
Great piece, Debi. Best wishes and success in the competition!
Paul
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2023
Outstanding, Debi. I laughed out loud at your last line! (Most Brits don't know that saying - but I also speak American!)
Very little you can improve: personally, I would omit 'However, the cheating . . personal gain.' because that's an unnecessary justification and slows the story down.
You have 'five card draw. that was only played . . ' so maybe a typo.
'as what he kept on him' - lose the 'what'.
a really good narrative, Debi - and really well drawn antagonists in Seth and James.
I think that I will keep out of poker games with you two - even though my dad taught me a every game under the sun - I think I prefer to keep my bank account in the black!
Great piece, Debi. Best wishes and success in the competition!
Paul
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2023
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Hello kind friend! Thanks for all the kind words and for the feedback. I don't need to play poker cause you make me feel like a million backs! -i Thanks again dear friend.
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Good luck with that comp.
'The Magician' seems to be doing well after 84 edits! Has the entry money automatically drawn from my piggy-cents?
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. Good luck!
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Thank you
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading and smiled as I did. Good luck with the contest.
I sat down and looked like a nervous schoolgirl pretending to be confident. (you can omit 'down')
I would try to make Mr know It All stand up and take notice. ( Mr. Know)
If not he was ruining everything and defeating the purpose of my being there. (comma after 'not')
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2023
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading and smiled as I did. Good luck with the contest.
I sat down and looked like a nervous schoolgirl pretending to be confident. (you can omit 'down')
I would try to make Mr know It All stand up and take notice. ( Mr. Know)
If not he was ruining everything and defeating the purpose of my being there. (comma after 'not')
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2023
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Thank you Barb. Corrections noted and done. I guess I should be happy you only had a few for me today, but here where I live, lol, you don't sit. You sit down, so that is hard for me to get used to and yet I know you are right. You may have to remind me more often but I will try to keep that in mind for my next prose story. Thanks for the feedback and your kind comments, my sweet friend.
Comment from jmdg1954
Holy Cannoli.
If this is what you give us with your first attempt with fiction, in the words of Kenny Roger... "know when to fold-em!" and leave the table.
My dearest Debi, (I can write that because my wife spells it Debbie)... this was phenomenomenal (double phenomenal).
Your talent shines again, my luv!
Awesome...
John
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2023
Holy Cannoli.
If this is what you give us with your first attempt with fiction, in the words of Kenny Roger... "know when to fold-em!" and leave the table.
My dearest Debi, (I can write that because my wife spells it Debbie)... this was phenomenomenal (double phenomenal).
Your talent shines again, my luv!
Awesome...
John
Comment Written 16-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2023
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Oh John, I think I will take you on my next fiction date. Not sure where we'll go yet, but I think we better start out at an Italian restaurant and have that Holy Cannoli. Lol! You are just too gol dang sweet, so I am sure Debbie won't mind an imaginative outing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for always making me feel so good about my writing. You are so special and know how to make others feel the same way. Thanks for the great comments and the six stars, my sweet friend. So very appreciated, and we will see you in fiction land at our next outing, dear John!