2023 Gypsy's Free Verse
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Amidst Burning Stars".
20 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
He'll of a way to end something ... an email. That person has already moved on. Text or email endings, a cowards way out. Your poem shows the damage done by the breakup. Yet the person has moved on, despite the grief. Great job. Gretchen
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
He'll of a way to end something ... an email. That person has already moved on. Text or email endings, a cowards way out. Your poem shows the damage done by the breakup. Yet the person has moved on, despite the grief. Great job. Gretchen
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you for understanding and for the excellent review. May you have a wonderful day, Gretchen.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Lisasview
Fabulous heartfelt poem about pain... I feel for you... and, have ben through this more than once.
Really so well written... gave me chills each time I read your words...
I wrote a poem which is about the same exact thing...called Taken... I do think you would really like it...
Are we fans? Can not remember? If not shall we be? So we can more easily find each others work.
I also wrote a few others for the upcoming contest that you also might like.. Just check my portfolio...
Lisasview
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
Fabulous heartfelt poem about pain... I feel for you... and, have ben through this more than once.
Really so well written... gave me chills each time I read your words...
I wrote a poem which is about the same exact thing...called Taken... I do think you would really like it...
Are we fans? Can not remember? If not shall we be? So we can more easily find each others work.
I also wrote a few others for the upcoming contest that you also might like.. Just check my portfolio...
Lisasview
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Yes, we are funs :)
Thank you for understanding and for the excellent review. May you have a wonderful day, Lisa.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from JSD
Sweetly painful free verse. The hurt you felt burns out of this, but I love the nonchalant beginning, of receiving an email, which sets it all up and does not prepare us at all for the rest.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
Sweetly painful free verse. The hurt you felt burns out of this, but I love the nonchalant beginning, of receiving an email, which sets it all up and does not prepare us at all for the rest.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much, JSD, I appreciate your excellent review and understanding.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Happily the flame of love does dim with time. I say happily because I don't think anyone could live comfortably at that level of intense sorrow for any length of time. Beautiful poem. kay
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
Happily the flame of love does dim with time. I say happily because I don't think anyone could live comfortably at that level of intense sorrow for any length of time. Beautiful poem. kay
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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This is about my exhusband and it took me five years until I could let him go and move on. After so many years, I still think about him from time to time. He was a coward and I realize I deserve better.
Thank you very much, Kay, I appreciate your excellent review and understanding.
Gypsy hugs
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I am so sorry for your past troubles. I hope you are living in a happier space now. It is good that you have been able to share that here (and to what it refers. If ever you came to put that in the notes, well then you would really be free). kay
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I've written about personal things since 2015. The fanstorians know everything about me. I'm an open book. I wouldn't recommend it but it's very therapeutic.
Comment from lyenochka
I feel like this tells the story of your love for your husband who betrayed you. I like the contrast of the water and flame throughout. The burning stars and the flame of your love remains and he's so undeserving.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
I feel like this tells the story of your love for your husband who betrayed you. I like the contrast of the water and flame throughout. The burning stars and the flame of your love remains and he's so undeserving.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much, big sister. You know me well. I don't know why I was thinking about him.
Love,
Marival ❤️
Comment from Yardier
Oh, the hope and pain of a broken heart. It is torture to carry that load, shuffling and smiling as if it didn't matter. But you, Gypsy, penned this so well, I paused two thirds of the way through. I was worried. It seemed so real. I hoped it was just a poem and nothing more. Right?
Right?
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
Oh, the hope and pain of a broken heart. It is torture to carry that load, shuffling and smiling as if it didn't matter. But you, Gypsy, penned this so well, I paused two thirds of the way through. I was worried. It seemed so real. I hoped it was just a poem and nothing more. Right?
Right?
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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unfortunately is based on my experience
Thank you very much for the kind and insightful review and for caring. May you have a lovely Saturday night.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine poem, Gypsy....and how the world has changed....used to be a "Dear John" letter....now it's a "Dear John" email....either way though, still hurts to be on the receiving end
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
Another fine poem, Gypsy....and how the world has changed....used to be a "Dear John" letter....now it's a "Dear John" email....either way though, still hurts to be on the receiving end
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much for the kind and insightful review and for caring. May you have a lovely Saturday night.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from prettybluebirds
Your poem touched my heart. It is so nicely written that it carries the reader to the sad ending. I loved this writing, and the lovely artwork you added to it. Nice work.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
Your poem touched my heart. It is so nicely written that it carries the reader to the sad ending. I loved this writing, and the lovely artwork you added to it. Nice work.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much for the kind insightful feedback and exceptional six stars review. May you have a lovely Saturday night.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from patcelaw
This is very poignant poem, and it sounds as though the person who was in love really was struggling. I enjoyed it but I had to listen to it because you're fucked was so close to the background color that I have a hard time seeing it.
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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
This is very poignant poem, and it sounds as though the person who was in love really was struggling. I enjoyed it but I had to listen to it because you're fucked was so close to the background color that I have a hard time seeing it.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Patricia. I made the font color lighter.
here is the poem
I got your email
I didn't want to read
but part of me knew
we had reached the end.
You said you met someone
that was ?a better fit'.
Did you forget?
Once we kept our passion aflame
in our tender hearts.
Don?t you remember all the times
we sailed through the night
amidst burning stars.
But I lost you
and there is no way
of turning back
to when our love
was more than enough.
I tried begging,
taking pills to dull the pain,
praying to God,
but it felt like
no one was above.
After an ocean of tears,
I moved on
but the grief remains inside
and I know
the flame of my love
will never die.
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Thank you for the lighter color on the font. It is much easier for me to read now.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
I need more stars to give. Wow!Wow!Wow!
This is absolutely amazing. I can relate to this too from my past. are you with somebody in your younger and you have all these dreams and you think things are going to be a certain way and you get older and something like that happens it feels like such a betrayal.
I could relate but also, I was able to move on because I had pressing things happening that were more important. I had MS and I haÄ?was half blinded and had a baby and it distracted me. sorry if this is so true for you this happened and you know what it wasn't right for you. when the other person says this isn't the right fit well you know what they're not the right fit for you. so they actually were able to summarize it for you.
When we put all of our efforts into one person when they reject us then we just feel like we're so bad but actually it's not true. probably the truth is they never were right for us. Such people never deserve authentic good true hearths, from the beginning.
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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
I need more stars to give. Wow!Wow!Wow!
This is absolutely amazing. I can relate to this too from my past. are you with somebody in your younger and you have all these dreams and you think things are going to be a certain way and you get older and something like that happens it feels like such a betrayal.
I could relate but also, I was able to move on because I had pressing things happening that were more important. I had MS and I haÄ?was half blinded and had a baby and it distracted me. sorry if this is so true for you this happened and you know what it wasn't right for you. when the other person says this isn't the right fit well you know what they're not the right fit for you. so they actually were able to summarize it for you.
When we put all of our efforts into one person when they reject us then we just feel like we're so bad but actually it's not true. probably the truth is they never were right for us. Such people never deserve authentic good true hearths, from the beginning.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2023
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Hello, Alexan,
I am sad that you can relate to this sad poem about grief and loss. It happened to me with my last husband. The divorce was really painful for me.
Love,
MariVal
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I'm sorry. Yes I can relate but from my mistake husband. I married him.on Mu 21st birthday. He married four people after me. X Alexsn
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I'm sorry. Yes I can relate but from my mistake husband. I married him.on Mu 21st birthday. He married four people after me. X Alexsn