Saving Mr. Calvin
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Saving Mr. Calvin - Chapter 2"Golf's legacy and future
14 total reviews
Comment from Paul Manton
Dear Jim, I started this review an hour ago, just before the delivery of fish and chips, then a stream of messages to read. If the phone rings, I am switching it off!
There is no way I can match your golfing knowledge - but I did play lawn bowls at County level when I was 23 -and I never miss watching on tv The Open, The Ryder Cup and The Masters - they are sporting highlights of sofa sportsmen (and women) all over the UK. My biggest claim re. Golf proper is to have been a good friend, some time ago, of Alison Nicholas, who played for England many times. I watched the entirety of the Weetabix Women's Open - and by the end I could sleep for a week!
But your story is not just about Golf - even though you are an aficionado!
I suspected that Mr Calvin might be more than he appeared, but you did so well not to start the reveal until the last few sentences - you had my attention from the first - but now you have me on tiptoe!
I am sorry to say I can only mention some of the highlights, because your piece is long and detailed: there is great dialogue from start to finish - and, being a Brit. and a non golfer, the Walmart gag is very funny. Added to that I notice how very refined is the grammar; I am not being very rude when I say that American shows on tv do not always sound like 'received English' - but if anything the British shows are worse - and when I taught English as a second language, I always advised my students NOT to pick up the language on the London streets!
So, I enjoyed the game, the banter, the humor, the high standard of very natural and accessible journalism - and then . . . a MYSTERY - and now I expect to see your next chapter on Netflix!
Oh my! Great job.
Paul
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Dear Jim, I started this review an hour ago, just before the delivery of fish and chips, then a stream of messages to read. If the phone rings, I am switching it off!
There is no way I can match your golfing knowledge - but I did play lawn bowls at County level when I was 23 -and I never miss watching on tv The Open, The Ryder Cup and The Masters - they are sporting highlights of sofa sportsmen (and women) all over the UK. My biggest claim re. Golf proper is to have been a good friend, some time ago, of Alison Nicholas, who played for England many times. I watched the entirety of the Weetabix Women's Open - and by the end I could sleep for a week!
But your story is not just about Golf - even though you are an aficionado!
I suspected that Mr Calvin might be more than he appeared, but you did so well not to start the reveal until the last few sentences - you had my attention from the first - but now you have me on tiptoe!
I am sorry to say I can only mention some of the highlights, because your piece is long and detailed: there is great dialogue from start to finish - and, being a Brit. and a non golfer, the Walmart gag is very funny. Added to that I notice how very refined is the grammar; I am not being very rude when I say that American shows on tv do not always sound like 'received English' - but if anything the British shows are worse - and when I taught English as a second language, I always advised my students NOT to pick up the language on the London streets!
So, I enjoyed the game, the banter, the humor, the high standard of very natural and accessible journalism - and then . . . a MYSTERY - and now I expect to see your next chapter on Netflix!
Oh my! Great job.
Paul
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Gosh, Paul. What a wonderful review! Thank you so much.
This one is a little different from my previous golf novels, which were already written when I presented them on FanStory. I haven't even written chapter 3 yet, but I do have a pretty good idea of how the novel will go. I'm usually a pantser (write by the seat of my pants), but this one I decided to plan ahead (at least at a rudimentary level). I hope it works.
Future chapters probably won't be as long as this one, but I couldn't think of a good place to stop it.
Once again, thanks a million for your great review.
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You're welcome Jim.
Look forward to the next one.
Paul
Comment from JSD
Ooh. Tension. A cliffhanger. Exciting. Your love of the courses is clear. I love watching the Masters on tv as much for the beauty of the greens as for the golf.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Ooh. Tension. A cliffhanger. Exciting. Your love of the courses is clear. I love watching the Masters on tv as much for the beauty of the greens as for the golf.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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At one point in my youth, I wanted to be a golf course architect. Even from an early age, I loved the beauty of golf courses. Whenever we passed one in the car, my eyes would be glued to it. I think that was a big part of the appeal of the game to me. The Masters is probably my favorite tournament to watch too for that reason.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Great ending, Jim! Your golfing story continues with (near) faultless prose (just para starting "Art chuckled... (on) the shoulder) and your descriptive detail and knowledge of golf courses and the game are always impressive. I found it a little bit too long and perhaps technical but the joy that you have and transmit to the reader makes up for it, I think. Love the play on green and brown- "brown fees" and your characterisation is always so good, making for a very entertaining and credible read. Thanks for sharing, Jim. Debbie
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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Great ending, Jim! Your golfing story continues with (near) faultless prose (just para starting "Art chuckled... (on) the shoulder) and your descriptive detail and knowledge of golf courses and the game are always impressive. I found it a little bit too long and perhaps technical but the joy that you have and transmit to the reader makes up for it, I think. Love the play on green and brown- "brown fees" and your characterisation is always so good, making for a very entertaining and credible read. Thanks for sharing, Jim. Debbie
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Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Thanks so much, Debbie, and thanks for pointing out the missing "on." I apologize for the length of this one, but could not think of a good place to cut it and pick up the next time. I will try to keep future chapters shorter or cut them to FS size somewhere.
Comment from royowen
The tale Carries on, and like some courses in Australia's outback that have a sparsity of water, and even some have even been in desert conditions. I love your golfing stories, similar to Dick Francis who's a writer of the sport of kings, beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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The tale Carries on, and like some courses in Australia's outback that have a sparsity of water, and even some have even been in desert conditions. I love your golfing stories, similar to Dick Francis who's a writer of the sport of kings, beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
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Comment Written 30-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2023
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Thanks so much, Roy. Desert courses can be really beautiful when they water the fairways, greens, and tees, and the brilliant green contrasts with the rest of the desert, but when it all looks the same, it's not too impressive-looking.
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That?s right