Moonlight Walk
A Rhyming Wave poem for Potlatch Poetry23 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did an excellent job with this unusual style,
Yvonne. Your words were well thought out and
descriptive. I could see everything as I read. However,
the picture was a perfect addition. Great job with the
rhyme scheme especially in the second verse. I liked the
super use of internal rhyme with tonight/ bright and
light/night. You created a magical scene of a special
walk in the moonlight.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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You did an excellent job with this unusual style,
Yvonne. Your words were well thought out and
descriptive. I could see everything as I read. However,
the picture was a perfect addition. Great job with the
rhyme scheme especially in the second verse. I liked the
super use of internal rhyme with tonight/ bright and
light/night. You created a magical scene of a special
walk in the moonlight.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for a super review with stars!
Comment from aryr
This was so well done and greatly enjoyed, damommy. It was actually brilliant. The picture was amazing, with the moon and the lady was wonderful. Your poem was great because of the rhyming wave. It showed the likeable wave. It was great! Blessings n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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This was so well done and greatly enjoyed, damommy. It was actually brilliant. The picture was amazing, with the moon and the lady was wonderful. Your poem was great because of the rhyming wave. It showed the likeable wave. It was great! Blessings n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for this lovely review. Hugs!
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Most welcome, Yvonne.
Comment from Ric Myworld
After traveling all week for the last two weeks I've stayed behind on reviewing. So, I apology for the late and off topic review. I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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After traveling all week for the last two weeks I've stayed behind on reviewing. So, I apology for the late and off topic review. I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thanks for reviewing. You must be worn out. Don't worry about reviews. Get some rest.
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed your rhyming wave poem. When I was growing up I enjoyed walking outside in the night. In the country, you had such a wonderful view of the stars and moon and it was so peaceful. I wouldn't dare walk in the night here.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I enjoyed your rhyming wave poem. When I was growing up I enjoyed walking outside in the night. In the country, you had such a wonderful view of the stars and moon and it was so peaceful. I wouldn't dare walk in the night here.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I know what you mean. I don't walk at night anymore. Wouldn't dare. When we lived in the woods, I loved walking at night. Thanks, Beth.
Comment from Ben Colder
Yes, all is well. I know the feeling. I thin we all seek a moment of calmness in the midst of uncertainty. Strolling in the moonlight is a brighter way. We done. Arkie.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Yes, all is well. I know the feeling. I thin we all seek a moment of calmness in the midst of uncertainty. Strolling in the moonlight is a brighter way. We done. Arkie.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you. Too bad it's not safe these days.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I loved this form. It was very rhythmic. But it begged to be read aloud. The word choice with troll, aplomb and other not so common words made it special. Well written. Thank you for sharing. Gretchen
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I loved this form. It was very rhythmic. But it begged to be read aloud. The word choice with troll, aplomb and other not so common words made it special. Well written. Thank you for sharing. Gretchen
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for noticing those words. I appreciate you pointing them out.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Yvonne,
This is really nice! I have never run across a wave poem before, but yours sure does justice to the form. The repetition and rhyme are like waves sloshing up on a beach. And the 4th lines see the water retreat.
Your final line is like those ancient parish watchmen who would stroll along through the night, swinging their lanterns, crying: "2 o'clock and all's well". Such nice imagery that your poem evokes!
"I see the stars begin their troll
begin, begin, begin their troll
across the sky, their nightly goal
to tell us all is well."
I must try this poetic form. Thanks for teaching it!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Hi Yvonne,
This is really nice! I have never run across a wave poem before, but yours sure does justice to the form. The repetition and rhyme are like waves sloshing up on a beach. And the 4th lines see the water retreat.
Your final line is like those ancient parish watchmen who would stroll along through the night, swinging their lanterns, crying: "2 o'clock and all's well". Such nice imagery that your poem evokes!
"I see the stars begin their troll
begin, begin, begin their troll
across the sky, their nightly goal
to tell us all is well."
I must try this poetic form. Thanks for teaching it!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for this most wonderful review. It makes me so happy that you want to try this form. It's really fun to do.
Comment from royowen
Well done with this Yvonne, i have the greatest respect for your work, but I have an issue with the troll word, there's only one meaning I could find, a mythical creature, unless it's like trawling for fish, or wending through a book, but it's pronounced TRORL in English English. But anyway, I'm sure you have an explanation, bless you my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Well done with this Yvonne, i have the greatest respect for your work, but I have an issue with the troll word, there's only one meaning I could find, a mythical creature, unless it's like trawling for fish, or wending through a book, but it's pronounced TRORL in English English. But anyway, I'm sure you have an explanation, bless you my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I used the word's meaning "to move around, circulate" with shooting stars in mind. Thank you for reviewing. I appreciate your attention to the details. I hope you accept my explanation. Always appreciate you.
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The English language is organic, I don?t mind, Judy?s a note dear Yvonne. Bless you
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You are so good at these poems, Yvonne, and this one is no exception. I'm glad I am able to give it the six you deserve. I can imagine a poem in this form appealing to children. I might try to write one! I'll get you to go over it first, though!! I love this one about walking out in the bright moonlight, and the shining stars. It rolls off the tongue so silkily, and is lovely reading aloud. So very well done, my dear SATP. Love you lots. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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You are so good at these poems, Yvonne, and this one is no exception. I'm glad I am able to give it the six you deserve. I can imagine a poem in this form appealing to children. I might try to write one! I'll get you to go over it first, though!! I love this one about walking out in the bright moonlight, and the shining stars. It rolls off the tongue so silkily, and is lovely reading aloud. So very well done, my dear SATP. Love you lots. Sandra xx
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you so much, dear sister. I'm so happy you want to try it. I wish I could lure you into Potlatch Poetry. How about the Animal Crackers Club. I know you could write wonderful stories there.
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I just might do that. I've so many stories I could tell about my cats. xxx 🥰🥰xx
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a really dreamy, musical verse which I haven't come across before. It's just very catchy and carries you along in this rather ethereal theme which is very enjoyable. I wondered in your notes whether 'verse' should have read 'stanza'? But a fine read! Thanks for sharing Debbie
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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This is a really dreamy, musical verse which I haven't come across before. It's just very catchy and carries you along in this rather ethereal theme which is very enjoyable. I wondered in your notes whether 'verse' should have read 'stanza'? But a fine read! Thanks for sharing Debbie
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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In the notes, I copied what the poetry site furnished. I agree with you. Thank you for this lovely review. I'm happy you enjoyed my poem.