Cleaning the Nest
A Lento poem for Potlatch Poetry Club21 total reviews
Comment from Mary Vigasin
This is a charming and delightful poem. You give your reader the image of the mama bird cleaning out the nest for the new arrivals. Then the three newborns are greeted and they sing their arrival.
Beautifully done,
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2023
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This is a charming and delightful poem. You give your reader the image of the mama bird cleaning out the nest for the new arrivals. Then the three newborns are greeted and they sing their arrival.
Beautifully done,
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2023
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Thank you. I'm glad you think so.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
What a sweet nature poem, Yvonne. I loved reading it.
Great job with the complex style required. Your
monorhymed words at the start of line 1 throughout
that verse worked well. I liked the busting voice of the
little brother. You had several great examples of cross
rhyme such as hatchling/patch. Also, great use of
alliteration such as busting/bagpipe's and
clans'/completed. Your story flowed smoothly
from the start with the mother bird preparing
the nest to the eggs hatching.
Thanks for participating, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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What a sweet nature poem, Yvonne. I loved reading it.
Great job with the complex style required. Your
monorhymed words at the start of line 1 throughout
that verse worked well. I liked the busting voice of the
little brother. You had several great examples of cross
rhyme such as hatchling/patch. Also, great use of
alliteration such as busting/bagpipe's and
clans'/completed. Your story flowed smoothly
from the start with the mother bird preparing
the nest to the eggs hatching.
Thanks for participating, Jan
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Thank you for such a beautiful review. It's very much appreciated, and I always value your opinion.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I could almost see a cute chubby cartoon bird doing happy housework and checking on her babies. This was a wonderfully written poem. I loved the action and the emotion in it. Thank you for posting. Gretchen
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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I could almost see a cute chubby cartoon bird doing happy housework and checking on her babies. This was a wonderfully written poem. I loved the action and the emotion in it. Thank you for posting. Gretchen
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Thank you for much for this wonderful review! I'm so happy you liked it.
Comment from judiverse
Terrific job with this. It must have been tricky to get the first words in each line of every stanza to rhyme, but yours worked out great. I love the idea, too. It seems a mother bird's work is never done. There's the nest building and sweeping, not to mention feeding the brood. You did a great job of projecting the mother bird's feelings. judi
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Terrific job with this. It must have been tricky to get the first words in each line of every stanza to rhyme, but yours worked out great. I love the idea, too. It seems a mother bird's work is never done. There's the nest building and sweeping, not to mention feeding the brood. You did a great job of projecting the mother bird's feelings. judi
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review! Such wonderful compliments and very much appreciated.
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You're welcome. I enjoyed this very much. judi
Comment from aryr
There is nothing like a bagpipe's group, damommy. This was very well done and greatly enjoyed. The picture was beautiful of the bird cleaning it's nest. Your words passed on a lot of wisdom. Blessings n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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There is nothing like a bagpipe's group, damommy. This was very well done and greatly enjoyed. The picture was beautiful of the bird cleaning it's nest. Your words passed on a lot of wisdom. Blessings n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much!
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You are so welcome, Yvonne.
Comment from royowen
I must admit I didn't get the explanation of the rhyme scheme Yvonne, but whatever, it was still a very well written work, with the rhymes thoughtful and expressed "out of the box" beautifully written blessings Roy
Typo : (skirls) swirls? 2; Second and fo(u)rth lines.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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I must admit I didn't get the explanation of the rhyme scheme Yvonne, but whatever, it was still a very well written work, with the rhymes thoughtful and expressed "out of the box" beautifully written blessings Roy
Typo : (skirls) swirls? 2; Second and fo(u)rth lines.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Skirls is what I wanted. It's the sounds of a bagpipe. Thank you for a very nice review.
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I couldn?t find a meaning for it on google, bless you
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Just to explain, not arguing. 😊Here's what I found:
Dictionary
Definitions from Oxford Languages ·
skirl
noun
a shrill, wailing sound, especially that of bagpipes.
"we heard a skirl of the pipes"
verb
(of bagpipes) make a shrill, wailing sound.
"the pipes skirled and moaned down the street"
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Don?t worry I believe you, you don?t have to go to any trouble, I?m only doing my job dear Yvonne, I can only be helpful. But thank you, I now know.
Comment from AudreyRose
What a formula to follow for the poem, beautifully done! I love the subject matter and the personification of the birds, wonderful. Thw third stanza is my favorite though, the imagery just pops in my head and makes me smile at the adorable picture painted there. Fantastic poem.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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What a formula to follow for the poem, beautifully done! I love the subject matter and the personification of the birds, wonderful. Thw third stanza is my favorite though, the imagery just pops in my head and makes me smile at the adorable picture painted there. Fantastic poem.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Thank you for a great review.
Comment from Ben Colder
A good one, Arkie. Makes me look for an Ivory Bill which is supposed to be existent. Amazing bird that has a special way of letting you know they are there. Good post.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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A good one, Arkie. Makes me look for an Ivory Bill which is supposed to be existent. Amazing bird that has a special way of letting you know they are there. Good post.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Thank you for this great review. Every mother makes preparations for her new arrivals.
Comment from shelley kaye
a good lento for the club
the third stanza felt a little forced with the words
just, trusted, plus, with
but then, that could be just me lol
the rest was great!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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a good lento for the club
the third stanza felt a little forced with the words
just, trusted, plus, with
but then, that could be just me lol
the rest was great!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I know nothing about poetic form and never knew the first words of each verse could rhyme. I did enjoy reading this club entry. Thank you for sharing this with us. I guess is where the term 'nesting' comes from.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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I know nothing about poetic form and never knew the first words of each verse could rhyme. I did enjoy reading this club entry. Thank you for sharing this with us. I guess is where the term 'nesting' comes from.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Thank you for this great review.