Dribbles And Drabbles
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Birthday Bash"A Collection Of Mini Stories
27 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Good work, I wish you well in the contest. Hoping your life story and Codey return soon. Good picture and an interesting story that could go somewhere I am guessing.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Good work, I wish you well in the contest. Hoping your life story and Codey return soon. Good picture and an interesting story that could go somewhere I am guessing.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Always appreciate your comments and the review. Hope all is well in your world these days.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry was well thought out, Brett. You gave
readers enough pertinent information which allowed them
to see and understand the ending. That ending, though
poignant, made great sense with what we knew about Sean
and his mother. Your words were descriptive, filled with
imagery, and smooth flowing.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Your contest entry was well thought out, Brett. You gave
readers enough pertinent information which allowed them
to see and understand the ending. That ending, though
poignant, made great sense with what we knew about Sean
and his mother. Your words were descriptive, filled with
imagery, and smooth flowing.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
What a tragedy your flash fiction inferred. My heart went out to the mother of that child. I'm not sure how he died, but I'm guessing it was by a fire involving the Ferris Wheel. You did a great job. Have a wonderful evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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What a tragedy your flash fiction inferred. My heart went out to the mother of that child. I'm not sure how he died, but I'm guessing it was by a fire involving the Ferris Wheel. You did a great job. Have a wonderful evening. Shirley
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Much appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from JT traveller
How terribly sad. Sentimental, solemn prose.
Your descriptive abilities and capacity to weave a carefully crafted story in so few words are remarkable.
A commendable read indeed. Impressive writing.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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How terribly sad. Sentimental, solemn prose.
Your descriptive abilities and capacity to weave a carefully crafted story in so few words are remarkable.
A commendable read indeed. Impressive writing.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Appreciate your insights and the review.
Comment from tfawcus
Good one, Brett. Tightly crafted and poignant. A good demonstration of the power of what is left unsaid. I wondered if tear-stained rather than tear-covered might suggest the back of the hand having wiped away the tears, leaving the palms dry for the free flow of the ashes.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Good one, Brett. Tightly crafted and poignant. A good demonstration of the power of what is left unsaid. I wondered if tear-stained rather than tear-covered might suggest the back of the hand having wiped away the tears, leaving the palms dry for the free flow of the ashes.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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WOW! Six stars. Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed this drabble. I had considered tear-stained or tear-covered, and upon second consideration, and your recommendation, changed the word to tear-stained.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Oh, man, you got me. I was prepared for him to be still too short. Not deceased. It's hard to emit such emotion in just 80 words but your tightly written story hit several emotions. The excitement of the festival, the anticipation of more fun to be had, then the sadness of his mother's return alone. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Oh, man, you got me. I was prepared for him to be still too short. Not deceased. It's hard to emit such emotion in just 80 words but your tightly written story hit several emotions. The excitement of the festival, the anticipation of more fun to be had, then the sadness of his mother's return alone. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate your insights and the review.
Comment from BethShelby
You have woven a sad tale into 80 words. There is no telling what 365 days might bring about. In this story, a mother returns with her son's ashes to the sight of festival her son loved so much.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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You have woven a sad tale into 80 words. There is no telling what 365 days might bring about. In this story, a mother returns with her son's ashes to the sight of festival her son loved so much.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Appreciate your comments and the review. Glad you enjoyed this posting.
Comment from Wendy G
What a shock with that twist at the end! Without saying how he died we know that the mother took his ashes back to the place of his dreams and aspirations. A very poignant piece. Best wishes for your flash fiction entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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What a shock with that twist at the end! Without saying how he died we know that the mother took his ashes back to the place of his dreams and aspirations. A very poignant piece. Best wishes for your flash fiction entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from jmdg1954
Wow. I was expecting Sean to happily ride the roller coaster as a big boy. Then you hit me with a 2x4 between the eyes.
Sad ending.
Well written!
Best of luck in the contest.
John
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Wow. I was expecting Sean to happily ride the roller coaster as a big boy. Then you hit me with a 2x4 between the eyes.
Sad ending.
Well written!
Best of luck in the contest.
John
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Appreciate the review.
Comment from Ricky1024
"Birthday Bash"
A short poem story about a boy growing up within the confines of an amusement park.
Well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
My Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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"Birthday Bash"
A short poem story about a boy growing up within the confines of an amusement park.
Well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
My Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
-
Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate your comments and the review.