Heart Crafted Poems - 2023
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Elixir of Life"Musing of an old man
28 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the potlatch triolet challenge. It's rich in imagery, it could be a tanka suite...just beautiful.
The rhymes and meter are not forced and they flow well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Excellent entry for the potlatch triolet challenge. It's rich in imagery, it could be a tanka suite...just beautiful.
The rhymes and meter are not forced and they flow well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Gypsy, thanks for your comments.
Comment from Brandon Clark
Thanks for sharing this form of poetry with your own poem and explaining it. You used precision word choice including the rhyming words...the didn't feel forced.
An excellent addition to your club!
Brandon
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Thanks for sharing this form of poetry with your own poem and explaining it. You used precision word choice including the rhyming words...the didn't feel forced.
An excellent addition to your club!
Brandon
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Brandon, thank you.
Comment from June Sargent
I really enjoyed this Triolet that painted a beautiful picture of the arrival of spring - snow receding, rains quenching, leaves and blossoms bursting into life. I can't wait!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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I really enjoyed this Triolet that painted a beautiful picture of the arrival of spring - snow receding, rains quenching, leaves and blossoms bursting into life. I can't wait!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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June, I thank you so very much for your strong validation.
Comment from nomi338
This is a very pleasing form, I do not think I can master it, but I may try it anyway.
As for the poem itself, the thing I like most about snow, is its melting and receding. Also welcome is the warmth that causes it.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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This is a very pleasing form, I do not think I can master it, but I may try it anyway.
As for the poem itself, the thing I like most about snow, is its melting and receding. Also welcome is the warmth that causes it.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023
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Nomi, thanks for your thoughtful comment.
Comment from karenina
I admire you for choosing just the right lines for a Triolet. They repeat...and yet they seem fresh and new and not at all redundant. I'm not sure how you do it, but it works very well here!
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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I admire you for choosing just the right lines for a Triolet. They repeat...and yet they seem fresh and new and not at all redundant. I'm not sure how you do it, but it works very well here!
Karenina
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Karenina, thank you so much!
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Welcome!
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent Triolet. You've chosen excellent repeating lines and woven them into the piece in a way that makes them flow and make sense. Not an easy task with so many repeating lines.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Excellent Triolet. You've chosen excellent repeating lines and woven them into the piece in a way that makes them flow and make sense. Not an easy task with so many repeating lines.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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W.j.Debi, thank you!
Comment from royowen
I once description of what's happening with the functions of Christmas friend Jim. You've done triolet justice with the rendering of this fine example of a triolet. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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I once description of what's happening with the functions of Christmas friend Jim. You've done triolet justice with the rendering of this fine example of a triolet. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Thanks!
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Welcome
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
I like this form of poetry and what you produced with it. It's a beautiful poem and the picture is great with it. I wondered if there was a better word than "with" for thirst. --Maybe "their deep"? "Quinches" needs a direct object here. Just wondering. In any case, I love your poem.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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I like this form of poetry and what you produced with it. It's a beautiful poem and the picture is great with it. I wondered if there was a better word than "with" for thirst. --Maybe "their deep"? "Quinches" needs a direct object here. Just wondering. In any case, I love your poem.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Verna, I will indeed have to give you partial credit in this poem. Thank you!
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Big smile!
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, JLR!
And the snow cannot recede soon enough; she has overstayed her welcome!
I so appreciate the Triolet form, and you have handled it very well.
One small nit:
as the wet elixer (elixir) quenches their thirst.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Good morning, JLR!
And the snow cannot recede soon enough; she has overstayed her welcome!
I so appreciate the Triolet form, and you have handled it very well.
One small nit:
as the wet elixer (elixir) quenches their thirst.
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Diane for those great set of eyes ? wink!
Comment from JT traveller
A wonderfully composed poem. Great choice of the necessary repetitive lines. They weave their way into your words in a manner that does not feel forced, rather enhances the quality of your writing.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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A wonderfully composed poem. Great choice of the necessary repetitive lines. They weave their way into your words in a manner that does not feel forced, rather enhances the quality of your writing.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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JT thanks much?
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😊