Raven - part i
a first encounter32 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you have spun this tale with both visual descriptions as well as the sounds that accompanied the scene. I wonder if the raven is some spirit companion from the narrator's past. I guess we'll find out soon.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2023
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I like how you have spun this tale with both visual descriptions as well as the sounds that accompanied the scene. I wonder if the raven is some spirit companion from the narrator's past. I guess we'll find out soon.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2023
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Many thanks for popping by and checking this one out. It's taken a bit of a while to et back into the swing of things writing wise. I have a couple of ravens who frequent my garden regularly. The like to knock on my patio doors when there's no food on the bird table & feeders. lol
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Ravens and crows are so smart! Mynah birds are the tropical variety and they can learn to "talk."
Comment from Spitfire
The narrator seems to be in prison. Guess we'll find out why eventually. Flashback to the past: he seems to be suffering a broken heart. More about that later too, I suppose. You have given the Raven a fun personality as he hops about and insists on keeping you company. Your description of the house heigtens the mood.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2023
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The narrator seems to be in prison. Guess we'll find out why eventually. Flashback to the past: he seems to be suffering a broken heart. More about that later too, I suppose. You have given the Raven a fun personality as he hops about and insists on keeping you company. Your description of the house heigtens the mood.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2023
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Tone is one of the most important factors when writing a iece for me. It has to match the tale being told. A lot of folk struggle with this. I may do a piece on it at some point. Many thanks for checking this one out and the great rating. G
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Love the picture, makes for an eerie story to come.
As always wonderfully descriptive,I loved this line -.It opened its beak and a soft caw escaped into the ether.
Glad to be reading your words again G. A great start, enjoyed it.
cheers
valda
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2023
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Love the picture, makes for an eerie story to come.
As always wonderfully descriptive,I loved this line -.It opened its beak and a soft caw escaped into the ether.
Glad to be reading your words again G. A great start, enjoyed it.
cheers
valda
Comment Written 04-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2023
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It's been a while! lol Much appreciated as always. G
Comment from dmt1967
This is a great story and I loved the way the words painted a picture. It is not the type of story I usually read, as you know I'm an action girl, but I couldn't stop reading. Thank you for sharing and have a great day.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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This is a great story and I loved the way the words painted a picture. It is not the type of story I usually read, as you know I'm an action girl, but I couldn't stop reading. Thank you for sharing and have a great day.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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The best words to hear or read 'I couldn't stop reading'. lol Many thanks. G
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice tale.
Sorry, maybe it's because I'm a numbers guy, but you threw me off the story right away. The small shack is 600 yards from the lane (1800', more than a third of a mile). It's nestled in a small clearing, which means there is no clearing beyond the small one. Yet it is visible from the road.
and a bed for the night that I knew of. - You knew of the night? Might be better to put 'that you knew of' nearer to the pub. But then, I be overly picky this morning.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Nice tale.
Sorry, maybe it's because I'm a numbers guy, but you threw me off the story right away. The small shack is 600 yards from the lane (1800', more than a third of a mile). It's nestled in a small clearing, which means there is no clearing beyond the small one. Yet it is visible from the road.
and a bed for the night that I knew of. - You knew of the night? Might be better to put 'that you knew of' nearer to the pub. But then, I be overly picky this morning.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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The cottage is visible from the road at the distance, although i did say barely visible I belief. There's a path that meanders (bordered by trees on both sides but there's a channel) up to it so it's a pretty straight run. I know this as true as it's an actual place! lol
The pub & bed bit is a bit muddled so I'll have a look at that.
I don't think you're being overly picky at all.
Good stuff
G
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A meandering path, yet a straight channel? I'm thinking, then, that the 600 yards may need an actual measurement.
smiley face here
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You could be right. It doesn't state meandering in the post but I think I used weaved, but it's fairly straight.I'll have another think about it. Cheers, dude. G
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it meanders
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Just love the imagery here - I can see the cottage, its surroundings, and your little friend as though I were standing there with you.
I will follow your posts so that I can follow this story. Anxious to see how we go from a cottage to a cell.
Pam
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Just love the imagery here - I can see the cottage, its surroundings, and your little friend as though I were standing there with you.
I will follow your posts so that I can follow this story. Anxious to see how we go from a cottage to a cell.
Pam
Comment Written 04-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Many thanks for checking out this opening instalment, Pam. G
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a very interesting story. Did you mean it to be part i? Have I missed nine earlier parts? Being favored by a raven seems an unusual companion. I haven't read anything of yours for a while but as always this is well-written and edited.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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This is a very interesting story. Did you mean it to be part i? Have I missed nine earlier parts? Being favored by a raven seems an unusual companion. I haven't read anything of yours for a while but as always this is well-written and edited.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Yes, it is part i (1). I haven't written much over the last four months or so as I've been busy with work, home-life and Christmas. I'm hoping to be a bit more prolific this year. Many thanks. G
Comment from Sugarray77
I always love your writing, Gareth, and this looks like its going to be wonderful. Lovely set up and a good, detailed account of the setting. You've imbued the raven with a personality and energy and that should prove interesting too. I enjoyed it.
Melissa
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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I always love your writing, Gareth, and this looks like its going to be wonderful. Lovely set up and a good, detailed account of the setting. You've imbued the raven with a personality and energy and that should prove interesting too. I enjoyed it.
Melissa
Comment Written 03-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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I love birds. We have a couple of ravens who frequent our garden quite often. beautiful creatures. G
Comment from Ric Myworld
Ravens, so incredibly intelligent, are said to communicate with other Ravens, much like Apes do with each other. Of course, too many Ravens are said to symbolize death or bad fortune. So, you have me wondering where your story is going. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Ravens, so incredibly intelligent, are said to communicate with other Ravens, much like Apes do with each other. Of course, too many Ravens are said to symbolize death or bad fortune. So, you have me wondering where your story is going. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Much appreciated, as always, Ric. G
Comment from Ulla
Hi Gareth, this is a great take on an old theme. You drew the reader in from the start and we now want to know what is happening next. You gave us some back story which I liked. The raven will show the way. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Hi Gareth, this is a great take on an old theme. You drew the reader in from the start and we now want to know what is happening next. You gave us some back story which I liked. The raven will show the way. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 03-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023
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Many thanks for checking this one out, Ulla, and the great ratiing. Always appreciated. G
