New York's Best: the NYDOE
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "NYCDoHD Spells Jobs, 6"A Musical in One Act
24 total reviews
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Funny, very witty, and an excellent work!! I have reviewed three or four scenes now, I can now capture the immense talent you poured into this script. It's alive, and full of energy, and the dialogue is sharp and appropriate for theatre. You are made for this!!!
Mario
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Funny, very witty, and an excellent work!! I have reviewed three or four scenes now, I can now capture the immense talent you poured into this script. It's alive, and full of energy, and the dialogue is sharp and appropriate for theatre. You are made for this!!!
Mario
Comment Written 17-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Awwww, Mario, I hope you're right! A long road ahead of me, but I hope to start pitching this to a small college or twenty, just to see it acted onscreen. But that won't be until I kill some of my babies and pare this down to about half its size. You give me energy, Man!
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You're most welcome, it's heartfelt!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is well-written and tells even more about your characters. Kincade is no longer so pompous and is really sorry he can't help Zachary is becoming desperate. Good character change.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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This is well-written and tells even more about your characters. Kincade is no longer so pompous and is really sorry he can't help Zachary is becoming desperate. Good character change.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Carol. I think Mr. Kincade's change came when he disclosed his past to Zachary and realized (slowly and over time) that the person he is trying to help is helping him. I'm so happy you are now enjoying it!
Comment from pome lover
love it. sent some lyrics to your email.
Zachary cracks me up. specially his willingness to put himself "between the teeth of their syllogistic vise." What a ham. (knowledgeable ham.)
WHAT will happen????
Katharine
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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love it. sent some lyrics to your email.
Zachary cracks me up. specially his willingness to put himself "between the teeth of their syllogistic vise." What a ham. (knowledgeable ham.)
WHAT will happen????
Katharine
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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I got 'em, Katharine and as usual, they were spot on with Zachary's character. Thank you so much. I have to start looking to slot the lyrics I choose into the scene, and in a balanced way. Please be patient and keep sending them in. It will be a wrap in one more scene.
Jay
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I'm in no hurry, Jay. I'm having a blast with your musical! I wish it'd go on and on!
Comment from BethShelby
I starting to feel very sorry for this man. He is willing to do anything. Surely someone will be willing to train such an eager beaver. My kincade should be able to work with that. LOL
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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I starting to feel very sorry for this man. He is willing to do anything. Surely someone will be willing to train such an eager beaver. My kincade should be able to work with that. LOL
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Yeah, he does draw out the mother in most readers. Thank you so much, Beth, for coming along for the long haul.
Comment from Spitfire
Mr. Kincaide in on to something even if it doesn't apply to Zachary.
So many job hunters just work long enough to earn the money they need and then quit. I like the summary of his job skills and how K. can't find a need for them. Also Zachary's summary of his charm as a waiter. Aren't restaurants always looking for servers??
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Mr. Kincaide in on to something even if it doesn't apply to Zachary.
So many job hunters just work long enough to earn the money they need and then quit. I like the summary of his job skills and how K. can't find a need for them. Also Zachary's summary of his charm as a waiter. Aren't restaurants always looking for servers??
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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I think the restaurants of the depression era were laying off because of lack of business. But that's just off the top of my head, not researched. If I were a restaurant owner, Zachary would scare the bejesus out of me.
Thank you, Shari, for your observations. I'm glad you're liking it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this addition with us. Mr. Kincade has to find this poor young man a job. He just has too. LOL I really enjoy reading and the characters are perfect.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Thank you for sharing this addition with us. Mr. Kincade has to find this poor young man a job. He just has too. LOL I really enjoy reading and the characters are perfect.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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LOL, thank you, Barbara. One more scene and it will be over ... with or without a job. I appreciate your holding a six in reserve. I did something wrong and it posted when it was supposed to sit in my files until Saturday. Once it posts, I don't know how to recall it.
Again, thank you, Barbara!
Jay
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Hello, Jay,
I found your play to be entertaining and humorous. I really liked it!
You use some 1930's lingo that adds a nice touch to your work.
Nice work, Jay!
Blessings and Merry Christmas!
Cindy
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Hello, Jay,
I found your play to be entertaining and humorous. I really liked it!
You use some 1930's lingo that adds a nice touch to your work.
Nice work, Jay!
Blessings and Merry Christmas!
Cindy
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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Thank you for weighing in, Cindy. I'm glad you found it entertaining. You have a marvelous Christmas yourself!
Jay
Comment from Frank Malley
"NYKoHD Spells Jobs, 6" is a dialogue between strangers who are meeting as a result of some mandated social requirement. It this chapter, a mysterious interviewer questions an young man desperate for work. This book part does what it should - it adds to character and it implies possible conflict. The story's use of an undescribed character as an interviewer suggests that his lines should be perhaps vaguely stained with hints about his character.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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"NYKoHD Spells Jobs, 6" is a dialogue between strangers who are meeting as a result of some mandated social requirement. It this chapter, a mysterious interviewer questions an young man desperate for work. This book part does what it should - it adds to character and it implies possible conflict. The story's use of an undescribed character as an interviewer suggests that his lines should be perhaps vaguely stained with hints about his character.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2022
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The interviewer gave some profound glimpses in his past that perhaps showed why he is having trouble letting Zachary go. That was a couple of scenes ago. One more remaining. I hope you choose to be a part of it.
Jay
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Well, Zachary has talked the talk, done all those things, gone to all those places, and has nothing to show for it all. No experience in any job and still no father. That is really sad, isn't it? But if there is no work for him, what will he do? I think Mr Kincade actually feels sorry for him, but we are going to have to wait to find out what he'll do. It's all in your hands now, Jay! Lol. Well done, my friend. This is such an intriguing story. :)) Sandra xx
I don't think I'll be posting anymore until after Christmas, but will still be coming to review. If you aren't posting after this, have a wonderful Christmas and a very happy, healthy 2023. xx
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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Well, Zachary has talked the talk, done all those things, gone to all those places, and has nothing to show for it all. No experience in any job and still no father. That is really sad, isn't it? But if there is no work for him, what will he do? I think Mr Kincade actually feels sorry for him, but we are going to have to wait to find out what he'll do. It's all in your hands now, Jay! Lol. Well done, my friend. This is such an intriguing story. :)) Sandra xx
I don't think I'll be posting anymore until after Christmas, but will still be coming to review. If you aren't posting after this, have a wonderful Christmas and a very happy, healthy 2023. xx
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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Bless you, and you have a marvelous Christmas as well. Thanks for reading this. I hadn't intended to even post it, but I pushed the wrong button somewhere and, ZAP, it was out there. Has that ever happened to you? Anyway, again, love and happiness to you.
Jay
Comment from John Ciarmello
Sensational, Jay! I do have a suggestion about the singing part for Zackary.
From the point where Zachary is (standing in enthusiastic pantomime), It would be awesome if Zachary sang those explanatory parts and Mr. Kincade talked his lines.
I did it in my brain, and it seemed to work, but then again, I'm talking about (MY BRAIN). LOL. Anyway, just my two cents. I love this, Jay.
Oh, and I still think that him singing about his father at some point would be cool. Zachary's voice should be (Slow and methodical, with hints of enthusiastic admiration) Perhaps some revelation is tossed into the lyrics about he and his father's past excursions together. Perhaps something that gets Mr. Kincade's attention.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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Sensational, Jay! I do have a suggestion about the singing part for Zackary.
From the point where Zachary is (standing in enthusiastic pantomime), It would be awesome if Zachary sang those explanatory parts and Mr. Kincade talked his lines.
I did it in my brain, and it seemed to work, but then again, I'm talking about (MY BRAIN). LOL. Anyway, just my two cents. I love this, Jay.
Oh, and I still think that him singing about his father at some point would be cool. Zachary's voice should be (Slow and methodical, with hints of enthusiastic admiration) Perhaps some revelation is tossed into the lyrics about he and his father's past excursions together. Perhaps something that gets Mr. Kincade's attention.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2022
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Wow! Is that ever a great idea, John! I'll work on it. I actually recorded my own voice singing Mr. Kincade's song (Scene 5, I think). That shows how desperate I was. Damn! Your idea's so great! Thank you, and I'll play around with it.!
Jay
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Thanks, Jay! I don't mean to overstep. I'm really enjoying this, and I thought I'd share my thoughts. I get excited about other's projects I like. As you've already gathered from "Fanny" LOL.