Death By Murder
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Death By Murder - Chap 9"A jewel heist, rival gangs and a cold case.
17 total reviews
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Last I remembered that Lance got the Jewries from the safety deposit for Rupert. Anyway, two detectives Hank, a Mr. Charming and Emmy, a beautiful young detective were having dinner discussing the case. I feel this part is a little long.
I will keep reading.
Well done otherwise.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Last I remembered that Lance got the Jewries from the safety deposit for Rupert. Anyway, two detectives Hank, a Mr. Charming and Emmy, a beautiful young detective were having dinner discussing the case. I feel this part is a little long.
I will keep reading.
Well done otherwise.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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I try to eliminate lengthy passages but sometimes I just can't get all the necessary information crammed into a few words. I'll try to do better.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
This seems to be a solid beginning to their relationship, and they sounded natural in dialogue. Filling in their pieces of the puzzle regarding the jewellery heist is a subtle way of giving the reader more information. I'm looking forward to more. Hope you are keeping well ....
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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This seems to be a solid beginning to their relationship, and they sounded natural in dialogue. Filling in their pieces of the puzzle regarding the jewellery heist is a subtle way of giving the reader more information. I'm looking forward to more. Hope you are keeping well ....
Wendy
Comment Written 04-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Thank you as always, Wendy. I have been struggling all day to try and get caught up. I am always falling behind anymore. Glad you enjoyed the chapter.
smiles, Carol
Comment from prettybluebirds
Your story keeps getting better with each chapter. I have been waiting for this one, but understand you are having some family issues. We seem to have more of them as we age. Nice writing.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Your story keeps getting better with each chapter. I have been waiting for this one, but understand you are having some family issues. We seem to have more of them as we age. Nice writing.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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I have about 6 or 7 chapters written but I don't have the necessary money to post. I wish I could because I so want to let everyone read and not wait for me. Thank you for understanding and for enjoying.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Loved that you took us along on their first work date! And you did a great job interspersing dialogue with action tags that fit so normally with restaurant activities! This also gives us a nice recap of the crowd of characters in the story.
compound without them." (no end quotes here because Emmy is still talking.)
0 "Drooling? Over me?" (stray 0 here)
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Loved that you took us along on their first work date! And you did a great job interspersing dialogue with action tags that fit so normally with restaurant activities! This also gives us a nice recap of the crowd of characters in the story.
compound without them." (no end quotes here because Emmy is still talking.)
0 "Drooling? Over me?" (stray 0 here)
Comment Written 04-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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thanks for catching my errors. The laptop and I are struggling. My sleeves tend to hit a button that I would not on my desktop. A learning curve for me!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from JoannaN
Hello, this is also a good piece of story. It has a beginning, a proper middle and the end. The dialogue is realistic, and the little descriptions of characters' action ("taking a sip of wine") are well-placed and they enrich the scene, without slowing it down :)
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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Hello, this is also a good piece of story. It has a beginning, a proper middle and the end. The dialogue is realistic, and the little descriptions of characters' action ("taking a sip of wine") are well-placed and they enrich the scene, without slowing it down :)
Comment Written 04-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Joanne for taking the time to read and enjoy my story. It took me a long time to get back to writing and I am thrilled when I see people enjoying what I do.
Smiles, Carol
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Keep writing. Writing is something that really helps :)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Ah, a nice bit of romance to finish my day off nicely, Carol. I wonder if they will end up together. I enjoyed the chat, the easy way they were with each and how they are discussing the murders. Emmy is bright, she must be being a lawyer, and Hank, our dashing detective! I do like him. I look forward to reading the next part. Well done, my friend; Love and hugs, Sandra xxx (It's so lovely to see your name in my messages saying you've posted another chapter. I feel you are back!!) xx
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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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Ah, a nice bit of romance to finish my day off nicely, Carol. I wonder if they will end up together. I enjoyed the chat, the easy way they were with each and how they are discussing the murders. Emmy is bright, she must be being a lawyer, and Hank, our dashing detective! I do like him. I look forward to reading the next part. Well done, my friend; Love and hugs, Sandra xxx (It's so lovely to see your name in my messages saying you've posted another chapter. I feel you are back!!) xx
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Comment Written 04-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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Hi dear,
It's not been an easy journey since we lost two more close family friends one day apart...It's really scary. BUT... yes, I think I have a grasp of life again and I'm feeling good about it even when things don't go exactly how we would like it.
I've made plans to go to NC to celebrate Keyanna's 13th birthday at the beginning of December. She usually doesn't every have anyone there. It's going to be a surprise. And I am ordering on line a Christmas tree, etc because Carissa had to leave it all behind. Another surprise for the girls. In the meantime, I work four or five hours on the house or yard and then try to write. Tomorrow I see the doctor but I am in a good frame of mind and won't let her throw me for a loop. Good night, my dear friend. Smiles, hugs and love, Carol
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Oh, that sounds wonderful, and it will be a wonderful surprise for Keyanna's birthday, a teenager, no less! I always feel sorry for people who had their birthdays close to Christmas, my Aunty Christine was born on Christmas day, she died a few weeks ago aged 99.
I'm glad you are in a better place now, Carol, I'm sorry you've lost two more close relatives, it is frightening when we reach that certain age and know our years are numbered. (I prefer to say years, rather than days!) Love you lots, I truly am off to bed now. 🥰🥰xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I so wish I had a six left, but I am sorry I do not. This was a great write and addition. Hank is a catch, but Garth is much better. LOL
0 "Drooling? Over me?" (Not sure why the 0 is in front of this dialogue.)
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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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I so wish I had a six left, but I am sorry I do not. This was a great write and addition. Hank is a catch, but Garth is much better. LOL
0 "Drooling? Over me?" (Not sure why the 0 is in front of this dialogue.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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For some reason, when I correct my Grammarly is tossing in an o...trying to drive me off the deep end I think... and I don't have far to go. I thought I caught them all. Thanks for letting me know. I really am going to have to work on having Garth stop by just for you!!! LOL
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Please do. LOL
