The House On Galbraith Line
An odd encounter.15 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Excellent entry for this contest. I sincerely hope I am back to congratulate you on the win. I've been in homes like this and absolutely felt that "presence" you write about so convincingly. There is no doubt in my mind that some "essence" of spirit remains behind ~ often not happily!
Karenina
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2022
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Excellent entry for this contest. I sincerely hope I am back to congratulate you on the win. I've been in homes like this and absolutely felt that "presence" you write about so convincingly. There is no doubt in my mind that some "essence" of spirit remains behind ~ often not happily!
Karenina
Comment Written 12-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2022
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Its a nail biter! Thanks for your kind words!
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Win this!
:)
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting and well written supernatural experience. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery from the art work you chose to go with your words. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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This is a very interesting and well written supernatural experience. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery from the art work you chose to go with your words. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 11-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Thank you Teri. Have a blessed day!
Comment from Susan Newell
Douglas,
What a great story, and it smacks of truthfulness. There are so many things we just don't know about. Very well written. I found just a couple minor issues and pulled out one of my favorite sections.
Sue
It hit me like an oppressive wall of 'get out'. ==> "get out."
"I don't like it in here dad," ==> Dad (when used specifically in place of a name)
where one dim bulb was valiantly fighting a losing battle to push back the ever-encroaching shadows. ******
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Douglas,
What a great story, and it smacks of truthfulness. There are so many things we just don't know about. Very well written. I found just a couple minor issues and pulled out one of my favorite sections.
Sue
It hit me like an oppressive wall of 'get out'. ==> "get out."
"I don't like it in here dad," ==> Dad (when used specifically in place of a name)
where one dim bulb was valiantly fighting a losing battle to push back the ever-encroaching shadows. ******
Comment Written 10-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Thanks Susan! I've been working a corporate security detail, but will get back to Implantation and your review, hopefully today! As always, I appreciate you!
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Life sometimes interrupts fun. I'm anxious for more Dat!
Comment from blondie560
I was worried you were going to say you bought the house. Your wife seemed to be the only one not affected by the eeriness of the house. I wonder if some people have some sort of genetic makeup or as some say a 6th sense that allows them to be open to experience vibes like you did. I don't ever doubt anyone that has had this type of encounter, though I have not. Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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I was worried you were going to say you bought the house. Your wife seemed to be the only one not affected by the eeriness of the house. I wonder if some people have some sort of genetic makeup or as some say a 6th sense that allows them to be open to experience vibes like you did. I don't ever doubt anyone that has had this type of encounter, though I have not. Good luck in the contest.
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Comment Written 10-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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I did not embellish. I wrote exactly what happenned as it occurred. It was a very strange day.
Thank you for your review!
Comment from humpwhistle
That this is a true story makes it quite chilling. Unfortunately, the story sounds so much like fictional stories and movies--commonly told and aired this time of year, it loses some of its impact. You mention your ten-year-old, and your thirteen-year-old, but you don't mention whether they're sons or daughters. This makes it more difficult for a reader to visual the scene. Just a thought.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
On October 3rd, 2016, my family and I were returning from a family visit. --Probably better not to use 'family' twice so close to each other. Easily fixed.
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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That this is a true story makes it quite chilling. Unfortunately, the story sounds so much like fictional stories and movies--commonly told and aired this time of year, it loses some of its impact. You mention your ten-year-old, and your thirteen-year-old, but you don't mention whether they're sons or daughters. This makes it more difficult for a reader to visual the scene. Just a thought.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
On October 3rd, 2016, my family and I were returning from a family visit. --Probably better not to use 'family' twice so close to each other. Easily fixed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Thanks for the review! I will switch one of those 'familys' as it makes the sentence heavy.
I did mention daughters in the top and bottom. Must have missed it:
(This didn?t happen because my wife and two daughters had already entered an adjoining living room, with their phone lights chasing back the gloom).
I didn't want to adlib or add to what actually happenned, so there it is. Much more chilling when it really occurred for me, because I was a staunch non-believer in such things.
Thanks, I appreciate you!
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I get it. And I apologize for missing the 'daughters' bit. Again, best of luck. Lee
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No worries Lee. I always appreciate your honesty. Catch you on the next one!