Rogachevo, Siberia
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Rogachevo, Siberia"mysterious happenings at A Siberian military base
17 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
This is some superb storytelling. The accuracy and vividness of your description is what keeps the reader moving across and down the page, openmouthed. I've read some of this before in one of your posts a couple of years ago. Not nearly so exacting in its detail then as it is now. Today, I was riveted. I hope this gets a lot of attention with the judges. Too bad you couldn't include a cuddly pet that dies in its owner's arms.
Jay
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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This is some superb storytelling. The accuracy and vividness of your description is what keeps the reader moving across and down the page, openmouthed. I've read some of this before in one of your posts a couple of years ago. Not nearly so exacting in its detail then as it is now. Today, I was riveted. I hope this gets a lot of attention with the judges. Too bad you couldn't include a cuddly pet that dies in its owner's arms.
Jay
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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There was a lot of stuff I was writing early on that I set aside because I didn't think my writing was doing the story justice. I wrote using these characters before but there weren't as formed and hopefully my skills have improved. I'm going through my old stuff unfinished stuff in a bid for resurrection! lol
Many thanks, Jay.
GMG
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You're old characters keep talking to you, too, G? Mine won't leave me alone, even over 30-40 years.
Jay
Comment from royowen
I think this could well be the best beginning of a great story. Your ability to hold the attention of the reader is amazing, with non stop action, on a remote northern island off the Siberian coast, is amazing, I'm amazed that you could hold my attention, throughout the episode is great. Well done G, blessings and good luck, Roy
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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I think this could well be the best beginning of a great story. Your ability to hold the attention of the reader is amazing, with non stop action, on a remote northern island off the Siberian coast, is amazing, I'm amazed that you could hold my attention, throughout the episode is great. Well done G, blessings and good luck, Roy
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Many thanks, Roy. This is a piece I started seven years ago but set aside as i didn't think my writing skills were developed enough. Much appreciated. G
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I think it?s rather good, you?ve obviously done a little editing
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent description of the characters and the world. Parts of this are thrilling (notably the collapse of the bridge) parts are perplexing (the guards are in place, but they're guarding carnage). Looking forwards to reading more. Kate xx
Please explain: voice almost lost > use of partial verb form only. Reccurs.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Excellent description of the characters and the world. Parts of this are thrilling (notably the collapse of the bridge) parts are perplexing (the guards are in place, but they're guarding carnage). Looking forwards to reading more. Kate xx
Please explain: voice almost lost > use of partial verb form only. Reccurs.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Many thanks as always. The recurring partial verd thing is a technique I've used before. It's a stylistic choice and sometimes helps to negate the passive. Strictly speaking it's not quite right but it can add depth and colour. We'll see. lol G
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Thanks. As always you make me think. It's good for alleviating boredom during chores. Kate xx
Comment from Ulla
Hi Gareth, you left us with a grizzly picture. Now you make us wonder what will be next.
You've written a classic suspense story, a great first chapter for the book. I want to read more. Good luck. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Hi Gareth, you left us with a grizzly picture. Now you make us wonder what will be next.
You've written a classic suspense story, a great first chapter for the book. I want to read more. Good luck. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Many thanks, Ulla. I have most of this mapped out as it's an old unfinished piece I'm reviving from the depths of my pc hell! G
Comment from aryr
An interesting picture, G. Good luck wishes regarding the contest. Thanks for the warning about language! Harcastle may be in charge of the mission, but the sight that surrounds them is really tough to take. They have already lost Trask then Parkman. What more can happen? Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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An interesting picture, G. Good luck wishes regarding the contest. Thanks for the warning about language! Harcastle may be in charge of the mission, but the sight that surrounds them is really tough to take. They have already lost Trask then Parkman. What more can happen? Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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All may not be as it seems in this one. lol Many thanks for reading and reviewing. Much appreciated. G
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Most welcome, G.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is an excellent contest entry. I've read quite a few for this contest. In my humble opinion only two that are this good. Yours and another one, I just read. The competition will be tough between you two. I can't wait to read the rest of this story. Good luck.
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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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This is an excellent contest entry. I've read quite a few for this contest. In my humble opinion only two that are this good. Yours and another one, I just read. The competition will be tough between you two. I can't wait to read the rest of this story. Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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This one has had a lot of time. I started it in 2015 and it was left lying in the depths of pc hell. I booted up an old desktop last week and found loads of writing I'd set aside because I didn't feel my writing skills were u to it then. Much appreciated. G
Comment from estory
This is classic action adventure. You pulled us right in with a bang as Parkman plummets down into the snow at the edge of a cliff in northern Siberia. Then the squad leader appears out of the blizzard and jerks him suddenly to his feet. Then the polar bear attacks without warning out of the frozen landscape. The brutal climate, the tough terrain, the mysterious base on the mysterious remote island all combine to keep us at the edge of our seats as the team makes it's way into the camp. Harcastle takes out one guard...and then they find this eerie place abandoned. Pieces of flesh littered about inside. Plenty of suspense here too at the end and we have to await your next chapter to find out who did it and what will happen next. estory
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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This is classic action adventure. You pulled us right in with a bang as Parkman plummets down into the snow at the edge of a cliff in northern Siberia. Then the squad leader appears out of the blizzard and jerks him suddenly to his feet. Then the polar bear attacks without warning out of the frozen landscape. The brutal climate, the tough terrain, the mysterious base on the mysterious remote island all combine to keep us at the edge of our seats as the team makes it's way into the camp. Harcastle takes out one guard...and then they find this eerie place abandoned. Pieces of flesh littered about inside. Plenty of suspense here too at the end and we have to await your next chapter to find out who did it and what will happen next. estory
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Many thanks for the great response. I set this one aside about 7 years ago and recently came across it again. Much appreciated. G