The Testimony of Emmett Gracey
Do you believe?25 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
This is an excellent entry into the contest. It grabbed my attention and kept me reading. It made me want to read more. I hope this will go on, so I can find out what this thing is and where it came from. Great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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This is an excellent entry into the contest. It grabbed my attention and kept me reading. It made me want to read more. I hope this will go on, so I can find out what this thing is and where it came from. Great job. Shirley
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Many tanks for the great review and rating. G
Comment from lavendermoon14
First and foremost, there are so many beautiful poetic aspects to this writing. It was an absolute joy to read. Further, I appreciate the sense of dread that continues throughout the piece. Well done!
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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First and foremost, there are so many beautiful poetic aspects to this writing. It was an absolute joy to read. Further, I appreciate the sense of dread that continues throughout the piece. Well done!
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Writing a period piece allows more poetry to come through in the prose. Much appreciated. GMG
Comment from dmt1967
This is quite a horror story. It was very entertaining but, if I'm honest, not one of your better stories. It was well written. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a great week.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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This is quite a horror story. It was very entertaining but, if I'm honest, not one of your better stories. It was well written. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a great week.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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It's definitely more stylised than usual. Many thanks. G
Comment from LJbutterfly
Sir Emmett Gracey is writing a letter to a gentleman who has been placed in a mental institution for detailing a story similar to the unusual events experienced by Sr. Gracey. The description of the invisible monster was chilling, detailed, and imaginative. It was also creative to incorporate the story in a letter rather than merely telling what took place. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Sir Emmett Gracey is writing a letter to a gentleman who has been placed in a mental institution for detailing a story similar to the unusual events experienced by Sr. Gracey. The description of the invisible monster was chilling, detailed, and imaginative. It was also creative to incorporate the story in a letter rather than merely telling what took place. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Much appreciated as always. G
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
Good luck in the contest. You did a good job of setting the tone and hooking the reader with your rendition of this story. I also thought you did well with the dialogue meant to represent an earlier time when people spoke more formally. I did find a few minor and small things you might want to change:
"... to you intact and it offers you some measure of comfort or peace of mind. ... I offer this testimony to give you hope and maybe a modicum of solace." These two sentences in the same paragraph separated by only one other sentence seem to say the same thing with different words.
"Despite his pale pallor,..." Aren't paleness and pallor the same thing?
"Glass does not breath, air does not breath." I think you meant breathe here.
"...but our minds had clearly other ideas." our minds clearly had other ideas seems to flow better.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Good luck in the contest. You did a good job of setting the tone and hooking the reader with your rendition of this story. I also thought you did well with the dialogue meant to represent an earlier time when people spoke more formally. I did find a few minor and small things you might want to change:
"... to you intact and it offers you some measure of comfort or peace of mind. ... I offer this testimony to give you hope and maybe a modicum of solace." These two sentences in the same paragraph separated by only one other sentence seem to say the same thing with different words.
"Despite his pale pallor,..." Aren't paleness and pallor the same thing?
"Glass does not breath, air does not breath." I think you meant breathe here.
"...but our minds had clearly other ideas." our minds clearly had other ideas seems to flow better.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Many thanks for the close reading of the piece. Much appreciated. GMG
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I found myself reading faster and faster as the tension built up in this story by letter. You put this reader right in the picture on this disturbing night. Great storytelling and I liked the Kuch reference.
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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I found myself reading faster and faster as the tension built up in this story by letter. You put this reader right in the picture on this disturbing night. Great storytelling and I liked the Kuch reference.
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 13-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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You're the only one that picked up on the Kuch reference. Gone but not forgotten. G
Comment from estory
This was a great horror story, I think the idea to make the creature invisible heightened the mysterious nature of it and made it all the more intriguing. I loved the description of the struggle with the invisible beast shrouded in the bedsheet the details made the scene come alive. Nice job with the shocked scientist who comes in and at first doesn't believe what has happened. Great emotion in the voices in the dialogue. The letter format harkens to Poe, the master of Gothic horror. estory
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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This was a great horror story, I think the idea to make the creature invisible heightened the mysterious nature of it and made it all the more intriguing. I loved the description of the struggle with the invisible beast shrouded in the bedsheet the details made the scene come alive. Nice job with the shocked scientist who comes in and at first doesn't believe what has happened. Great emotion in the voices in the dialogue. The letter format harkens to Poe, the master of Gothic horror. estory
Comment Written 12-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Many thanks for checking this out and the great review / rating. G
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow! This is a fine example of nineteenth century sophisticated horror writing. Your pace and the timing of events were stunning. Your style (I think I've said it before of your writing) reminds me of W Somerset Maugham. There is a sense of propriety and sophistication to your characters. It could have been written by Henry James.
There are a few things you might want to clean up before the contest window closes. This should be a winner, if the length isn't a problem.
some measure of comfort or piece of mind. [Would the letter writer have meant "peace of mind"?]
A myriad of images ran through me head at that point; [I wonder if one so articulate in other matters would have used "me" as above.]
I tried to erect intellectual walls to combat their potentness, [I would use potency here ... especially in light of the "vividness" you also used in the same sentence.]
trying to such in air. [... trying to suck (?) in air.]
"What you speak of, Hammond, are objects of an inanimate naturel Glass doe not breath, air does not breath. [I don't know ... This is a really awkward sentence, appearing to have a mix of dialect and misspelled words ... yet I think I know what you meant.]
We fell into an uncomfortable silence then, each of us consumed with our own ponderings [... each of us consumed with HIS own ponderings ...]
The attitudes of other aided us in our deliberations. [The attitudes of other(s) aided us ...]
But the plot and the delicious characterization carries the strength of this story. It is fabulous!
Jay
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Wow! This is a fine example of nineteenth century sophisticated horror writing. Your pace and the timing of events were stunning. Your style (I think I've said it before of your writing) reminds me of W Somerset Maugham. There is a sense of propriety and sophistication to your characters. It could have been written by Henry James.
There are a few things you might want to clean up before the contest window closes. This should be a winner, if the length isn't a problem.
some measure of comfort or piece of mind. [Would the letter writer have meant "peace of mind"?]
A myriad of images ran through me head at that point; [I wonder if one so articulate in other matters would have used "me" as above.]
I tried to erect intellectual walls to combat their potentness, [I would use potency here ... especially in light of the "vividness" you also used in the same sentence.]
trying to such in air. [... trying to suck (?) in air.]
"What you speak of, Hammond, are objects of an inanimate naturel Glass doe not breath, air does not breath. [I don't know ... This is a really awkward sentence, appearing to have a mix of dialect and misspelled words ... yet I think I know what you meant.]
We fell into an uncomfortable silence then, each of us consumed with our own ponderings [... each of us consumed with HIS own ponderings ...]
The attitudes of other aided us in our deliberations. [The attitudes of other(s) aided us ...]
But the plot and the delicious characterization carries the strength of this story. It is fabulous!
Jay
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Many thanks, Jay. I had a lot of fun with this piece - once I got my mindset right! I've wanted to write something along these lines for a while but couldn't get into it. Got there in the end. lol
Great catches too
Many thanks
G
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Great story. Very, very well told.
The fight scene was fabulous. Very credibly told.
I don't think that there were any errors, but I was so rapt in the reading, I would have skipped over a misspelled word, though I doubt there was one.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Great story. Very, very well told.
The fight scene was fabulous. Very credibly told.
I don't think that there were any errors, but I was so rapt in the reading, I would have skipped over a misspelled word, though I doubt there was one.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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There were a handful of fat-fingered typos but not too many thankfully. The hardest part of this was getting into tthe mindset and staying there. lol
many thanks for the great response, Wayne.
G
Comment from royowen
An excellent story, fortunately for Grace, his friend Hammond knew Grace rather well, and actually believed in the veracity of his friend, and obviously the target of the correspondence was sympathised, because, after all, who would believe in an invisible assailant?, beautifully written G, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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An excellent story, fortunately for Grace, his friend Hammond knew Grace rather well, and actually believed in the veracity of his friend, and obviously the target of the correspondence was sympathised, because, after all, who would believe in an invisible assailant?, beautifully written G, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2022
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Many thanks Roy. This one took a bit of time in terms of mindset but once there it kinda just flowed. Many thanks as always.
G
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Well done