Novella - Unwanted Dog
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Unwanted Dog-4"Adopted By Unknown Stranger In Wal-Mart Parking Lo
15 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Brett, I am impressed. I love your voice in this book. It's very personal and low-key and the first-person narrator fits like a glove. It has a "Catcher in the Rye" feeling about it. But it has the potential of being quite dark beginning with the next chapter.
I only had one question as I read along:
His obviously not the best locomotion manifested in resembling a duck when he paraded. [I don't know quite what you had in mind with this sentence. Could it be, "His WAS not the best locomotion..."?]
Again, I am so impressed! I wish I had a six to award to this chapter, but you know how that goes a day before the new supply comes in.
Best to you, friend,
JS
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Brett, I am impressed. I love your voice in this book. It's very personal and low-key and the first-person narrator fits like a glove. It has a "Catcher in the Rye" feeling about it. But it has the potential of being quite dark beginning with the next chapter.
I only had one question as I read along:
His obviously not the best locomotion manifested in resembling a duck when he paraded. [I don't know quite what you had in mind with this sentence. Could it be, "His WAS not the best locomotion..."?]
Again, I am so impressed! I wish I had a six to award to this chapter, but you know how that goes a day before the new supply comes in.
Best to you, friend,
JS
Comment Written 02-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate the review.
Comment from royowen
I must admit, what a horrible place to be in, I know from all reports from those periods, all the twisted masochistic human beings were able to be employed in miscreant places such as this. Perhaps the streets were preferable to these places. Beautifully written Brett. Blessings Roy
Typo : His (was) obviously...
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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I must admit, what a horrible place to be in, I know from all reports from those periods, all the twisted masochistic human beings were able to be employed in miscreant places such as this. Perhaps the streets were preferable to these places. Beautifully written Brett. Blessings Roy
Typo : His (was) obviously...
Comment Written 02-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Appreciate the catch and the review.
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Most welcome
Comment from Sankey
Thanks, mate, for a great chapter. Sorry, no SIXES left. I must check I have not missed any chapter. A couple of spelling errors even between British and American English, hehe. you will [i](e)nsure you are dressed
support of raising capit[o](a)l
I am putting up some of the chapters of my biography if you want some more funny money and missed any.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Thanks, mate, for a great chapter. Sorry, no SIXES left. I must check I have not missed any chapter. A couple of spelling errors even between British and American English, hehe. you will [i](e)nsure you are dressed
support of raising capit[o](a)l
I am putting up some of the chapters of my biography if you want some more funny money and missed any.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Appreciate the catches. Always do mix up capitol and capital. Also appreciate the review.
Comment from BethShelby
Blond hair and blue eyes is an idea combination on a boy. Of course it describes Dennis the Menace. I would assume they picked the nicer looking boys for these occasions. With you it sounds like they might have been taking a chance. You seem pretty unpredictable.
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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Blond hair and blue eyes is an idea combination on a boy. Of course it describes Dennis the Menace. I would assume they picked the nicer looking boys for these occasions. With you it sounds like they might have been taking a chance. You seem pretty unpredictable.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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I wanted nothing to do with this event, or Hermitage Hall, though I paid severely for my actions soon thereafter. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was well written. This is an interesting story and you do a great job of sharing your story. Nice use of dialogue - I think a bit more would make this even stronger. Very interesting and enjoyable read.
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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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I thought this was well written. This is an interesting story and you do a great job of sharing your story. Nice use of dialogue - I think a bit more would make this even stronger. Very interesting and enjoyable read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2022
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Appreciate the review.