The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "The Return Chapter 34"Erotic Turmoil
34 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Oh the suspense! We won't know until next week who the murderer is! Since it's a woman, it could be Meg's sister-in-law but I thought she would have been scared off by Margot and Bessie by now. Great job with this interaction. I liked when Margot joined Meg in pacing the room. And I liked how you varied your sentence lengths.
You may have already changed these:
She Grimaced. (grimaced)
Then the absurdity of her remard (remark)
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Oh the suspense! We won't know until next week who the murderer is! Since it's a woman, it could be Meg's sister-in-law but I thought she would have been scared off by Margot and Bessie by now. Great job with this interaction. I liked when Margot joined Meg in pacing the room. And I liked how you varied your sentence lengths.
You may have already changed these:
She Grimaced. (grimaced)
Then the absurdity of her remard (remark)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Hi Helen, thank you so much for this lovely review. Yes, I had made the corrections, Gareth found them as well! Why didn't I?
I'm so glad you liked this chapter, it's almost at the end now. Then what'll I do? lol. Hmm. Thanks, my dear friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, as always, you set this chapter up perfectly. Then, just like you always do, you left me waiting, not so patiently, to find out who is under the mask. Frustrations, frustrations, just like the one you created with the line ". . . writhing crescendo of exquisite, breath-taking pleasure." Seems like I might remember one of those times, but I can't figure out if it was real or in a movie. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Well, as always, you set this chapter up perfectly. Then, just like you always do, you left me waiting, not so patiently, to find out who is under the mask. Frustrations, frustrations, just like the one you created with the line ". . . writhing crescendo of exquisite, breath-taking pleasure." Seems like I might remember one of those times, but I can't figure out if it was real or in a movie. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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... if it was real or in a movie!! LOL! Ric, you are so funny! Thank you so much for reading, and all the support you've give me throughout. I really enjoyed your review. And a bigger hug for the golden sixth star! Love and hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from estory
I'd have to say this was one of the best chapters of the Return. I liked the tension in the dialogue, you bring out some of the jealousy Margot feels over Miles and Meg, and the fact that Meg doesn't quite trust Margot and Bessie. The little plot to uncover the murderer, or would be murderer of Meg unfolds in a nice measured way, and then we have that wonderful suspense of uncovering the murderer at the end, but it's left for the next chapter. Super suspense there and the perfect place to cut the chapter. Can't wait to see who it is...Gwendollyn? estory
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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I'd have to say this was one of the best chapters of the Return. I liked the tension in the dialogue, you bring out some of the jealousy Margot feels over Miles and Meg, and the fact that Meg doesn't quite trust Margot and Bessie. The little plot to uncover the murderer, or would be murderer of Meg unfolds in a nice measured way, and then we have that wonderful suspense of uncovering the murderer at the end, but it's left for the next chapter. Super suspense there and the perfect place to cut the chapter. Can't wait to see who it is...Gwendollyn? estory
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much, estory! What a lovely compliment for this chapter, you really have made my day! I think everyone will kick themselves when the culprits name is revealed. I have valued your reviews all the way, and I can't thank you enough. Thank you for the golden star, that was the icing on the cake. Love and hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment from giraffmang
Hi sandra,
now you're just toying with the reader with that end point! lol
A few notes-
just incase anyone was there who'd notice.- in case is two words rather than one.
The issue with font happens again in this chapter. I'm beginning to wonder if it's my laptop playing up! lol
Margot took note of the slight enphasis on Miles - emphasis.
then Margot. She Grimaced. Then the absurdity of her remark - no capital at grimaced.
running and screaming loudly / he came quietly up to the stable / think you're doing?' Meg snapped angrily. / woman's hood down, suddenly flinched.- these adverbs all come in close succession.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Hi sandra,
now you're just toying with the reader with that end point! lol
A few notes-
just incase anyone was there who'd notice.- in case is two words rather than one.
The issue with font happens again in this chapter. I'm beginning to wonder if it's my laptop playing up! lol
Margot took note of the slight enphasis on Miles - emphasis.
then Margot. She Grimaced. Then the absurdity of her remark - no capital at grimaced.
running and screaming loudly / he came quietly up to the stable / think you're doing?' Meg snapped angrily. / woman's hood down, suddenly flinched.- these adverbs all come in close succession.
All the best
G
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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I'm working backwards! Thank you, Gareth, I'm so glad you've caught up. And found me more nits to squash. I wondering if I overdosed on caffeine when I wrote this one. The stupid error are unbelievable! I've made all the corrections and, DaDah! I've got rid of all the adverbs in those last paragraphs and replaced some them with much better descriptive words, and even removed a couple completely. I realised they didn't add to the story, any way. I took a look at the page but couldn't see anything in bold. But I'll check the other one out as well.
Thanks so much for this, Gareth, you are a gem and I really do appreciate you. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
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It may be a slight variation in colour setting. I noticed it in all three posts. I thought it might be my laptop but I've not noticed it reviewing others. It's not that important anyway.
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I'm going to check each of the pages again in the morning. I've got tired eyes tonight, so it could be it's me. Thanks again, Gareth. xx
Comment from aryr
An absolutely great continuation chapter, Sandra. Poor Margot has been successfully separated from Meg. The time is ripped for the two of them, Margot and Bessie to solve the murderer. Meg is inclined to believe them and as such is prepared to activate post haste. This was a great teaser because we still don't know who the hooded lady is? Oh, by the way, I found the following sentence incorrect...' She Grimaced. Then the absurdity of her remard'. Very well done, greatly enjoyed. Hugs n Blessings!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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An absolutely great continuation chapter, Sandra. Poor Margot has been successfully separated from Meg. The time is ripped for the two of them, Margot and Bessie to solve the murderer. Meg is inclined to believe them and as such is prepared to activate post haste. This was a great teaser because we still don't know who the hooded lady is? Oh, by the way, I found the following sentence incorrect...' She Grimaced. Then the absurdity of her remard'. Very well done, greatly enjoyed. Hugs n Blessings!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you so very much, Alie, for another lovely review, and thank you for picking up those two nits, they are well and truly squashed! LOL. I have no idea what I was thinking to have made two errors in more, a capital letter for Grimace, and remard! What cloud was I on?
Thank you again. my dear friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
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LOL, you are most welcome, Sandra, warm hugs!
Comment from Sanku
Beautifully written and what a cliffhanger! I am sure the hooded person is going to be a surprise ! I feel sorry for Margot .i wish she could meet Miles' rebirth when she returns to the present...
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Beautifully written and what a cliffhanger! I am sure the hooded person is going to be a surprise ! I feel sorry for Margot .i wish she could meet Miles' rebirth when she returns to the present...
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Sanku! What a nice review. You will discover the identity of the hooded lady in the first sentence of the next chapter! I'm so glad you've enjoyed reading my story, thanks, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
You're torturing us! Stunning chapter.
By process of elimination ... the only woman left on your list is Sarah--perhaps she is secretly obsessed with Miles.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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You're torturing us! Stunning chapter.
By process of elimination ... the only woman left on your list is Sarah--perhaps she is secretly obsessed with Miles.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Lol,
Comment from blondie560
Hi Sandra, First, I hope you are feeling better and that you've gotten over all the lingering effects of Covid. I am so sorry I haven't been active here. I had gone on vacation at the end of July with just my best friend. It was wonderful. We hadn't see each other in over 2 1/2 years. She lives in Florida, I live in Illinois. After that I had all kinds of emergencies in my family. Plus we've been working on a condo we bought for our daughter to move into. She's been with us for 1 1/2 years since she got divorced. She needed to get back on her feet. Now it's time for her to be on her own. But now I've gotten all caught up with all the chapters I've missed. It was kind of nice to keep reading straight through. Until, that is this week's chapter! What a cliff hanger. I'm sad that Margot no longer gets to be with Miles, but maybe you have something up your sleeve for when Margot returns to the present time. And could Miles have worse parents than he does? It's sounds like a miracle he was even born if their wedding doomed them to a miserable unhappy life. I really loved Bessie and her ghost skills with Gwendolyn and Jenkins. I wonder were she will fall into Margot's life in the present.
I look forward to next Sunday's chapter. Take care and I hope you have a lovely week. Hugs :) Sally
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Hi Sandra, First, I hope you are feeling better and that you've gotten over all the lingering effects of Covid. I am so sorry I haven't been active here. I had gone on vacation at the end of July with just my best friend. It was wonderful. We hadn't see each other in over 2 1/2 years. She lives in Florida, I live in Illinois. After that I had all kinds of emergencies in my family. Plus we've been working on a condo we bought for our daughter to move into. She's been with us for 1 1/2 years since she got divorced. She needed to get back on her feet. Now it's time for her to be on her own. But now I've gotten all caught up with all the chapters I've missed. It was kind of nice to keep reading straight through. Until, that is this week's chapter! What a cliff hanger. I'm sad that Margot no longer gets to be with Miles, but maybe you have something up your sleeve for when Margot returns to the present time. And could Miles have worse parents than he does? It's sounds like a miracle he was even born if their wedding doomed them to a miserable unhappy life. I really loved Bessie and her ghost skills with Gwendolyn and Jenkins. I wonder were she will fall into Margot's life in the present.
I look forward to next Sunday's chapter. Take care and I hope you have a lovely week. Hugs :) Sally
Comment Written 21-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Hi Sally, yes, I'm much better thank you, and the ribs are healing nicely. Thank you for asking.
I guessed you'd be busy, and what better way than going on holiday with a friend. I'm sorry you had to come back to lots of problems, and more so that your daughter's marriage went wrong. It's no good staying if it's not working.
Now, thank you for catching up! I'm glad you enjoyed reading them all and read this one, too. Not much left now, and then I'll have to come up with another story. Hmm. Sending you a humongous hug for the sixth star, my friend!! Thank you for all of it. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from Jay Squires
"If I'm lying, can you tell me why you can see us, but no one else can? Did Miles see us? No." [So I gather that Margot is telling a lie of convenience, am I right?]
And she couldn't argue that Miles couldn't see them. [Okay, I'm straight on that? He couldn't see Margot, once Meg was visible to him. And he could never see Bessie.]
she waved and gave a thumbs up. [Could "thumbs up" be an anachronism? I don't know ... just asking.]
I don't know that I'd run up to a person holding the knife that Meg had just seen slice through the strap. The knive can as easily slice through skin. LOL, of course you know that ... which is why you closed out the scene here.
You're going to make this a long seven days, you devil, you.
Jay
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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"If I'm lying, can you tell me why you can see us, but no one else can? Did Miles see us? No." [So I gather that Margot is telling a lie of convenience, am I right?]
And she couldn't argue that Miles couldn't see them. [Okay, I'm straight on that? He couldn't see Margot, once Meg was visible to him. And he could never see Bessie.]
she waved and gave a thumbs up. [Could "thumbs up" be an anachronism? I don't know ... just asking.]
I don't know that I'd run up to a person holding the knife that Meg had just seen slice through the strap. The knive can as easily slice through skin. LOL, of course you know that ... which is why you closed out the scene here.
You're going to make this a long seven days, you devil, you.
Jay
Comment Written 21-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much, Jay, for another lovely review. Miles hasn't been able to Margot and Bessie since a few hours after they came into Miles era. Margot entered Meg's body, he didn't know that and thought it was just his Meg. Now separated, Meg has been able to see Margot.
I did check on the 'thumbs up' before using it, and it goes back to the Roman times, and a bit earlier. Thumbs up meant he/she lived, down, he/she died.
The other thing you mentioned caught me out!!! LOL. So, I've added: "Startled, the woman dropped the knife and turned..."
Thank you for that!! And thank you for the whole lovely review. You keep me on my toes, and I have to make sure I get it right before you review. I missed the knife one!! LOL.
I've almost finished the next chapter, and then I think there will only be one chapter left after that. I'll know when I get started on it. I've got a lot of reviewing to do, as well, or it won't get posted. Thank you so much for the golden star, my friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
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Oh, you are so welcome. I'm gonna miss Margo and Bessie!
Jay
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Oh, no, I have to wait to see who it is! Great cliffhanger place. The plot is unfolding with lots of tension to hold the reader's interest. I didn't even notice if you had proofread it, I was so intrigued. I'm not sure why some of the lines are against a white background, but it is a little distracting as I was trying to figure out why they were set off differently.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Oh, no, I have to wait to see who it is! Great cliffhanger place. The plot is unfolding with lots of tension to hold the reader's interest. I didn't even notice if you had proofread it, I was so intrigued. I'm not sure why some of the lines are against a white background, but it is a little distracting as I was trying to figure out why they were set off differently.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Carol, I'm so glad you enjoyed this part. You'll find out who the lady is in the next chapter; it was really fun writing this part. Of course, then it will be a question of what poor Margot will do. She can't have Miles, he's been taken. :)) Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
I just had a look at that bit with the white background, I have no idea how that happened. I'll put it right though. xx