Comment from godlucifer

Excellent

lovely piece of work. your telling of life after death seem to be a telling experience. if what you say is true on the other side than i think most people would encounter their own telling experience to be told. your poem was great as it was written and told. thanks for the read.

truly
godlucifer

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022

Thanks for the review, godlucifer. I have had two interesting conversations with a couple of people who have had near death experiences. Those conversations changed my mind about the other side.

Comment from Jumbo J

Excellent

Hi Paul,
I know you've heard the spiel... if I only had a six?
Well I give it one just for the beauty of the melody you created with you rhyme and meter... but then add this to the fact there is a lovely gentle story woven in... and yes, you have it, Six worthy of its exceptional content and composition.

A beautiful work indeed Paul... love the fact that you have a gentle way about you... and even after death find joy in guidance.

With our thoughts we create...
regeneration.

Kind regards,
James.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022

Thanks, James. I'm really looking forward to the experience, but I'm not in a hurry.

Comment from C. Gale Burnett

Exceptional

Your first stanza took my breath away as you creatively expressed, with clarity, the crossing over from death to life.

These two memorable lines captured and held my attention:
'I find I'm walking, arm in arm with someone who had done me harm'
Profound, spiritual truth and thought-provoking, no less.

'No sides to take, no politics' - finally, we will have peace.

Your spiritual attitude as you write invites, without judgment, readers to come and experience the Light of our Lord.

Lovely rhyme;
Gale

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022

Thanks, Gale. No politics will be a welcome relief.

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

Good morning Paul. I enjoyed reading your lovely work and the skill with which you wrote it. It flows beautifully with the use of enjambment and good end rhymes. Well done. Excellent work.

Melissa

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022

Thanks, Melissa. I had to look up "enjambment". Thanks for increasing my vocabulary.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Well, I would have hoped to see God first thing. Enjoyed your poem's picture of Heaven. I especially liked "No sides to take, no politics." I'm often shocked how believers will express such hatred for the "other side" of politics, forgetting that we should be on God's side not on any human organizational side. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022

Thanks, Helen. When starting work for a big company, you probably will not meet the CEO on the first day.

reply by lyenochka on 19-Aug-2022

I'm glad God doesn't run Heaven like a human company. Jesus washed His disciples feet.

reply by the author on 20-Aug-2022

I wouldn't be surprised if God sent Jesus to meet incoming souls on the first day.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

If I had a six, I'd give it to you. This was a lovely poem, and if dying is like that, I need not be afraid. I'm more afraid of the actual death than I am of dying. No one knows what it is like to die. No one I've known has come back to tell me!! I think this poem is wonderful, and I'm so pleased I've read it. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022

Thanks, Sandra. The experience of death can be painful or not. I have talked to two people who have died on the operating and then come back to life. Their experiences were quite pleasant.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Your contest entry read well, Paul. I enjoyed reading it. The
art fits perfectly. I like the rhyme, the smooth flow, and the
message--esp about how you were walking with former enemies.
In line 5, there's a symbol you may want to delete.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022

Thanks, Jan. This web site does not handle some punctuation marks very well.

reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 18-Aug-2022

Right. Go to your edit page in advanced editor
delete that mark
highlight work & save while highlighted

Comment from bob cullen

Excellent

Those opening two lines really demanded my attention. Then you paint of life hereafter and it sure fills my hopes. I loved the image of renewing friendships with old friends. This was a solid read

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022

Thanks, Bob. The other side is going to be interesting.

Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

This poem struck a deep cord in me. I lost many loved ones and hope to see them again across the Gate.

Amazing wisdom and insight into death, and the world beyond. Most people fear death, your words of faith alleviate that fear.

Great imagery, visuals, rhyme, meter and presentation.

On the aside note, you may want to look at your line 5 in the first stanza. An "evil eddy" (that's what we call our FS editor, lol) inserted a strange symbol at the end.

A great work, I enjoyed it very much. Best of luck in the booths.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022

Thanks for the great review. Evil Eddy strikes again. I did edit it.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

I like that all is forgiven, and all are at peace and can live in unity in Heaven (Stanza 3), and I also appreciate the irrelevance of earthly politics that so many get so angry about. We need to get this perspective. Time on earth is fleeting, and so are its troubles. Well written Paul. Sending you best wishes for the contest.
Wendy

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022

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reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022

Thanks, Wendy. I do hope there is a place there for Sunny and Sam.