The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "The Return Chapter 33"Erotic Turmoil
35 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
An excellent chapter.very well written especially the vision of Lord Crawley's death as well as the face to face meeting of Meg and Margot. Poor Margot! She will have to be satisfied with memories!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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An excellent chapter.very well written especially the vision of Lord Crawley's death as well as the face to face meeting of Meg and Margot. Poor Margot! She will have to be satisfied with memories!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much, Sanku, for another lovely review. I really appreciate it. Yes, Margot has to swallow her disappointment for the time being. :)) Thanks my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Fleedleflump
This was an excellent chapter. It was interesting to see things shaken up a bit, and the 'mechanics' of the scenario coming into play. All great fantasy/supernatural fiction uses its central fallacy to cause character angst and plot momentum, and you've used it beautifully here. I didn't see any nits, so I'll just say how much I enjoyed the read :-).
Mike
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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This was an excellent chapter. It was interesting to see things shaken up a bit, and the 'mechanics' of the scenario coming into play. All great fantasy/supernatural fiction uses its central fallacy to cause character angst and plot momentum, and you've used it beautifully here. I didn't see any nits, so I'll just say how much I enjoyed the read :-).
Mike
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Aw, thanks, Mike! that's such a compliment! I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. Thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
I've been waiting patiently for the Dragon With a Capital D to start!! Can I have an update? When are you going to post it???? :))
Comment from alexisleech
Wow!!! I didn't expect that to happen. What a wonderful imagination you have, Sandra. As usual, you guided the reader through a complicated scene, giving enough detail to make my eyes rush down the page as I held my breath.
Bravo, my friend - you nailed it!
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Wow!!! I didn't expect that to happen. What a wonderful imagination you have, Sandra. As usual, you guided the reader through a complicated scene, giving enough detail to make my eyes rush down the page as I held my breath.
Bravo, my friend - you nailed it!
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Aw, thank you so much, Alexis, for this lovely review. I think I have a kinky mind because I enjoyed writing this part!! Lol. Nearly there now! Thank you, big time, for the golden star! I'm so glad you enjoyed this part! Chat later. Love and hugs, Sandra xxxx
Comment from DeboraDyess
Hello, Sandra! I'm back after a VERY long absence and will try to get caught up! :)
Lordy, Lordy... You sure know how to keep the mystery going! This is so well written... I gotta go back and read as much as I can! lol
Just a couple of thoughts...
~ Cold chills travelled though her body, > through - you dropped the 'r'
~Not sure about this one, but I don't think you need commas around 'as the door swung open'. It seems to be a comma splice. Boy, oh, boy... Do I HATE commas! lol
~ the curtain, when, without warning, her arm was pulled back >> the curtain,() when, without warning, her arm was pulled back
~a ball gown, or a wedding dress. >> no comma
~ he sight of so much blood everywhere, was horrifying. >> Never separate the subject (in this case, 'the sight') from the verb ('was terrifying'.) with a comma. Wow... That was totally conveluded. So , take two. Never separate the subject from the verb with a comma. lol. YOu might use one sometimes to set of a phrase. Like this - The sight of the blood, more than she'd ever seen in her life, was terrifying. I'm not sure why that's different but it is. lol
~ I think the paragraphs about the staff's reaction to the suicide scene should all be one paragraph, both the maid who vomits in the hall and the ones who do not. I'd put those together as one paragraph and start a new one with 'Meg stood stock-still,'
The first part is about the staff. It starts being solely about Meg at that point. Does that make sense?
~ Last thing from the Grammer Nazi... lol. My understanding is that when there are two items (this and that) they aren't separated by a comma. Only when there are three or more things (this, and that, and the other) do you use them. Remember that I use US English so it might be different for you. :)
I still love this story!
Blessings and hugs,
Deb
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Hello, Sandra! I'm back after a VERY long absence and will try to get caught up! :)
Lordy, Lordy... You sure know how to keep the mystery going! This is so well written... I gotta go back and read as much as I can! lol
Just a couple of thoughts...
~ Cold chills travelled though her body, > through - you dropped the 'r'
~Not sure about this one, but I don't think you need commas around 'as the door swung open'. It seems to be a comma splice. Boy, oh, boy... Do I HATE commas! lol
~ the curtain, when, without warning, her arm was pulled back >> the curtain,() when, without warning, her arm was pulled back
~a ball gown, or a wedding dress. >> no comma
~ he sight of so much blood everywhere, was horrifying. >> Never separate the subject (in this case, 'the sight') from the verb ('was terrifying'.) with a comma. Wow... That was totally conveluded. So , take two. Never separate the subject from the verb with a comma. lol. YOu might use one sometimes to set of a phrase. Like this - The sight of the blood, more than she'd ever seen in her life, was terrifying. I'm not sure why that's different but it is. lol
~ I think the paragraphs about the staff's reaction to the suicide scene should all be one paragraph, both the maid who vomits in the hall and the ones who do not. I'd put those together as one paragraph and start a new one with 'Meg stood stock-still,'
The first part is about the staff. It starts being solely about Meg at that point. Does that make sense?
~ Last thing from the Grammer Nazi... lol. My understanding is that when there are two items (this and that) they aren't separated by a comma. Only when there are three or more things (this, and that, and the other) do you use them. Remember that I use US English so it might be different for you. :)
I still love this story!
Blessings and hugs,
Deb
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much for this, Debs, and all the edits. I've worked my way through them. It was so nice of you to come and read this part. I know what life is like, it takes you over! Lol. I still haven't had time to sort my Poppy and Odi book out. I'll let you know when it's done. Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from estory
I really liked the death scene of Lord Crawley, I think you did a great job with lots of detail to make that horrific scene come alive for us and put us right there with Margot in the thick of it. And then you had that interesting scene between Meg and Margot and Bessie where they seem to recognize each other's presence and how they are interacting together with Miles. There's some tension there and also some sympathy between them. Interesting scene. estory
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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I really liked the death scene of Lord Crawley, I think you did a great job with lots of detail to make that horrific scene come alive for us and put us right there with Margot in the thick of it. And then you had that interesting scene between Meg and Margot and Bessie where they seem to recognize each other's presence and how they are interacting together with Miles. There's some tension there and also some sympathy between them. Interesting scene. estory
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you, estory, for another of your lovely reviews, and for that exceptional gold star!!
I have to admit I enjoyed writing the death scene!! Lol. I'm glad you liked it. Now to sort out Meg and Margot. We don't have much time left to save Meg. Thanks again, my friend. Hugs Sandra xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I am lucky to see anything anymore. My eyes are fading fast. I am reviewing as much as I can and it isn't easy. I can see this coming to an end and I hope I will be there at the end. It is a great story ,Sandra Dear and I am enjoying it. I love time travel stories. Well done. NAncy:)
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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I am lucky to see anything anymore. My eyes are fading fast. I am reviewing as much as I can and it isn't easy. I can see this coming to an end and I hope I will be there at the end. It is a great story ,Sandra Dear and I am enjoying it. I love time travel stories. Well done. NAncy:)
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Aw, Nancy, I really feel for you. Do you have read aloud on your computer? Most do now, and you can use voice to talk-write your poetry.
Thank you for the lovely gold star, my dear friend, I'm so very pleased you are enjoying my story. I have two, possibly three chapters left. Stick in there, my dear friend. Love you lots, and sending hugs. :)) Sandra xxxxx
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No I don't have any of that, but I may go to that. I just don't know how long I can last. My eyes, my hearing fading and I get weaker every day. I will not go softly into that dark night though! HAHAHA Hugs Nancy:)
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Good for you, Nancy. I'm already listening with read aloud. My hearing isn't that good any more. Why does everything we need to enjoy life have to fail as we age? I think we should live to an age and body we are happy with and stay with that body until we're called. If He has a suggestion box when (if) I'm called, I'll put this suggestion it in. Lol. xxxxx
Comment from John Ciarmello
Oh my goodness, Sandra! I was saving a six for the ending of this story, but it now seems so out of place to do so after reading this chapter. Everything around me went silent as I read. I have no idea what will happen now as I always try to forecast. I can't say enough! Encapsulating and enchanting, my friend. Loved it! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Oh my goodness, Sandra! I was saving a six for the ending of this story, but it now seems so out of place to do so after reading this chapter. Everything around me went silent as I read. I have no idea what will happen now as I always try to forecast. I can't say enough! Encapsulating and enchanting, my friend. Loved it! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Crikey!! What can I say? This is such a great honour to have a six from you, John, thank you so very much. You told me right at the start you would give me a six at the end, and I was more than happy to think at that stage you'd decided to do that. Now! Well you have really taken me by surprise in the VERY BEST way!! Thank you so very much! I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. :)) Love and lots of hugs, Sandra xxxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
Wow, I can imagine how that would freak Margot and Meg out. Imagine coming face to face with yourself, but from different lifetimes. I think it would take more than a few deep breaths to calm me down!
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Wow, I can imagine how that would freak Margot and Meg out. Imagine coming face to face with yourself, but from different lifetimes. I think it would take more than a few deep breaths to calm me down!
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Lol, I'd need a large G&T!! Thank you so much, Cindy, for your lovely review. I really appreciate it. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
I didn't see that coming. Apparently, neither did Margo and Meg. Stunning "mirror" scene. Graphic description of stench and suicide.
sugg: It was only when Meg rushed in (omit comma; insert: THAT)
they managed to pull themselves together.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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I didn't see that coming. Apparently, neither did Margo and Meg. Stunning "mirror" scene. Graphic description of stench and suicide.
sugg: It was only when Meg rushed in (omit comma; insert: THAT)
they managed to pull themselves together.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Hi Liz, thanks so much for this lovely review. I didn't see that coming either!! Lol. Thanks for suggestion, I've inserted That, and got rid of the comma. It does read better now. :)) Have a lovely week, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
I've just been reading some of your work on Medium, you've got a LOT of followers!! And I can see why. :)) xx
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Thrilled you've read my work--as to followers--just a tit-for-tat click--divide by 100 and that's my true fans!
Comment from l.raven
Hallelujah...Hallelujah...I feel like I
just took off a full body girdle...and now
I can deep breathe...sigh...
Hi Sandra, that was ingenious my amazing friend...
I was thinking Margot would pass out...and Meg would
escape...but they even met each other...
now they have to explain to Meg what is going on...
and hope she believes in the supernatural...
and see if she figures out Margot has been snoozing with
Miles...
and what will happen to poor heartbroken Margot...
she can't just walk away...how sad that would be...hmmmmm...
LOVEDDDDDD this chapter sweet you...the answer to a long
awaited question...this one is the best...now lets see if
they can save Meg...and where did Natasha and Boris get off to...AKA...Gwen and Jenkins...trying to figure out their next move???...I loveeeee your story told beautiful you...
so much love heading your way...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Hallelujah...Hallelujah...I feel like I
just took off a full body girdle...and now
I can deep breathe...sigh...
Hi Sandra, that was ingenious my amazing friend...
I was thinking Margot would pass out...and Meg would
escape...but they even met each other...
now they have to explain to Meg what is going on...
and hope she believes in the supernatural...
and see if she figures out Margot has been snoozing with
Miles...
and what will happen to poor heartbroken Margot...
she can't just walk away...how sad that would be...hmmmmm...
LOVEDDDDDD this chapter sweet you...the answer to a long
awaited question...this one is the best...now lets see if
they can save Meg...and where did Natasha and Boris get off to...AKA...Gwen and Jenkins...trying to figure out their next move???...I loveeeee your story told beautiful you...
so much love heading your way...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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I've got it all under control, dear one. Margot will be so distraught, she sends Meg to her dear sister-in-law, Gwendolyn, and her fancy-man butler, and get's them to invite her to dinner..... Problem solved!!!! LOL!!! Love your reviews they always make we laugh!
Things will zoom along now that Meg is around. Margot and Bessie must have a long chat with her now, it's going to difficult...But with only two days left, something has to be sorted or Meg will be murdered! Now, there's a possible solution!!! Hmm.
Thank you so much, my dear friend, for this amazing review, and the brightest star in the galaxy! You always set me up for the day!
An avalanche of love and hugs heading your way!! :)) Sandra xxxxxxxxxxx
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OHHHH you do have an evil side in you...
Now, there's a possible solution...Hmmm...
what!!! did you just fall asleep??...
or did you and your 🐵 step out for a smoke...really...
and why is Margot so distraught...how do you think Meg feels?...she was still in her body...when Miles and Margot were using her as a trampoline...
lets see how many of the people who
murdered people in this story...get away with it...hmmmm.
love you so many my amazing friend...and biggest hugs back at you...smiling big...xxoo
💖😊🙏💕🚚🌸🌼