Random Rhyme and Petty Prose
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Next"a collection of phenomenally mundane work.
16 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Bill,
What a great poem about time, even though it is a pessimistic one.
Your rhymes, the way they fit, are excellent.
Good luck with this one, Bill.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Bill,
What a great poem about time, even though it is a pessimistic one.
Your rhymes, the way they fit, are excellent.
Good luck with this one, Bill.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Thanks, Cindy
Comment from kahpot
The road to nowhere seems to be heading in our direction, everybody is nervous about what is coming next, and yes all muscles are flexed, an excellent read and summary of todays world****kahpot
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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The road to nowhere seems to be heading in our direction, everybody is nervous about what is coming next, and yes all muscles are flexed, an excellent read and summary of todays world****kahpot
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Thank you, kahpot
Comment from jp88
I enjoyed this piece of poetry. The topic was well presented, and I was a particular fan of the tongue-in-cheek last two lines. If anything, I would say that it is already today's world that is oversexed and not just tomorrows.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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I enjoyed this piece of poetry. The topic was well presented, and I was a particular fan of the tongue-in-cheek last two lines. If anything, I would say that it is already today's world that is oversexed and not just tomorrows.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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You are right, of course.
Comment from Fleedleflump
I love the rhythm you've generated with this, using just the two rhymes to link punchy lines. If I may make one suggestion, I'd change the last bit to 'in hexed sex texts read vert fast'. I realise the line is compiled from earlier rhymes, but I think sex flows better in the final context, and still retains the reference.
Mike
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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I love the rhythm you've generated with this, using just the two rhymes to link punchy lines. If I may make one suggestion, I'd change the last bit to 'in hexed sex texts read vert fast'. I realise the line is compiled from earlier rhymes, but I think sex flows better in the final context, and still retains the reference.
Mike
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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I?m sure you?re right.
Comment from nomi338
And such is the life that we live, such are the gifts that we give. We are a product of Adam's misgiving, should have never listened to EVE, he could still be living. Typical man, they give us the eye, and that coy winsome smile. Although our feet are hurting, we would gladly walk another mile. We may never, ever learn. If you get to close to fire, brother you are going to burn.
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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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And such is the life that we live, such are the gifts that we give. We are a product of Adam's misgiving, should have never listened to EVE, he could still be living. Typical man, they give us the eye, and that coy winsome smile. Although our feet are hurting, we would gladly walk another mile. We may never, ever learn. If you get to close to fire, brother you are going to burn.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Thanks, nomi
Comment from BethShelby
You have an interesting rhyme pattern going here. It is alarming to realize this poem makes pretty good sense. Maybe that is because none of your more colorful characters are featured.
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reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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You have an interesting rhyme pattern going here. It is alarming to realize this poem makes pretty good sense. Maybe that is because none of your more colorful characters are featured.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Thanks, Beth
