Dribbles And Drabbles
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Bisque"A Collection Of Mini Stories
15 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
This is a well-worked story with an air of mystery showing how fate impacted intersecting lives to turn them around for the better. The colloquial/conversational tone suits the character.
I'm pretty sure the slang word should be spelled 'geezer', because a 'geyser' is like Old Faithful at Yellowstone national park - a water jet spouting.
Also, I have never heard of a 'busser' - what is the difference between a server and a busser? Is the busser the kitchen hand who washes the dishes?
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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This is a well-worked story with an air of mystery showing how fate impacted intersecting lives to turn them around for the better. The colloquial/conversational tone suits the character.
I'm pretty sure the slang word should be spelled 'geezer', because a 'geyser' is like Old Faithful at Yellowstone national park - a water jet spouting.
Also, I have never heard of a 'busser' - what is the difference between a server and a busser? Is the busser the kitchen hand who washes the dishes?
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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The kitchen hand who clears the table and totes the bus trays to the dishwasher.
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Thanks for the clarification.
Comment from jp88
This is lovely! Such a turnaround and so much emotion in a short little piece, really well done. It's not easy to pack a few words as well as you have, and make it a complete and compelling story. Nice!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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This is lovely! Such a turnaround and so much emotion in a short little piece, really well done. It's not easy to pack a few words as well as you have, and make it a complete and compelling story. Nice!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Appreciate the review.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a great flash fiction story. Two ships that pass in the night. Each changed the life of the other once, and even though they lost sight of each other it looks as though we may be party to the beginning of a second round. Kate xx
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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This is a great flash fiction story. Two ships that pass in the night. Each changed the life of the other once, and even though they lost sight of each other it looks as though we may be party to the beginning of a second round. Kate xx
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Appreciate the review.
Comment from RodG
This story has a surprising ending, but you need to tweak your opening paragraphs. Make it clear immediately that he looks familiar, but you don't recognize him. His leaving you a note is believable, but try rewriting the scene with dialog between the two of you. I think it might be stronger. What is a GUYSER? and a BUS TUB?
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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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This story has a surprising ending, but you need to tweak your opening paragraphs. Make it clear immediately that he looks familiar, but you don't recognize him. His leaving you a note is believable, but try rewriting the scene with dialog between the two of you. I think it might be stronger. What is a GUYSER? and a BUS TUB?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Geyser is a term for an elder person and a bus tub is what bussers in restaurants place dirty dishes in when they clear tables.
Comment from Bill Schott
This two-hundred-word story, Bisque, has an awesome double blast of irony. Peoples' lives change on a dime, and lead, sometimes, to a grand tip.
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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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This two-hundred-word story, Bisque, has an awesome double blast of irony. Peoples' lives change on a dime, and lead, sometimes, to a grand tip.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2022
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Appreciate the review.