Teardrops of a broken world
Earth teardrops24 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Charity, you are definitely the voice of the vulnerable, the down-trodden, the abused. You challenge the white middle class and the rich and the corrupt and racists - and so you should. Jesus was the same. Keep writing. It's powerful.
Wendy
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Charity, you are definitely the voice of the vulnerable, the down-trodden, the abused. You challenge the white middle class and the rich and the corrupt and racists - and so you should. Jesus was the same. Keep writing. It's powerful.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thank you 😊 💓
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We are often scared by life and the cruel events that come our way, the injustices and the poverty driven crimes. We feel anger and tears as life for some never seems to improve. A powerful and intuitive write with some hard truths here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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We are often scared by life and the cruel events that come our way, the injustices and the poverty driven crimes. We feel anger and tears as life for some never seems to improve. A powerful and intuitive write with some hard truths here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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I appreciate you always reviewing my poems and giving me feedback. Have a great week.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with your interesting poem.
I like the image, the formatting, and the groups of
rhymes. You highlighted serious issues that affect us
all and will not be overcome unless all people of all
ethnicities work together. Will that ever happen? When?
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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You did a good job with your interesting poem.
I like the image, the formatting, and the groups of
rhymes. You highlighted serious issues that affect us
all and will not be overcome unless all people of all
ethnicities work together. Will that ever happen? When?
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thank you
Comment from royowen
I think despite all that is going on, there's still that light of hope, though the darkness surrounds us, that glimmer of hope still there. I remember severe depression when I was only 18, wanting to end it, but knowing there was that great glimmer that persisted, then that glimmer still found me, that is still there for you Charity, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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I think despite all that is going on, there's still that light of hope, though the darkness surrounds us, that glimmer of hope still there. I remember severe depression when I was only 18, wanting to end it, but knowing there was that great glimmer that persisted, then that glimmer still found me, that is still there for you Charity, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks my friend.
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Welcome
Comment from C.A.Currie
Charity, I love your picturesque words and the way you draw me into your world, as only you can express it, all the while showing me what your heart really wants.
A few suggestions, if I may:
Justice needs to be serve,(add a 'd')
Unrecognized lost (perhaps 'loss' instead) of humanity.
Our country is like (the) titanic we are sinking.
Thanks for sharing!
Sunshine, Rainbows, and Unicorns from my heart to yours
~ Christine ~
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Charity, I love your picturesque words and the way you draw me into your world, as only you can express it, all the while showing me what your heart really wants.
A few suggestions, if I may:
Justice needs to be serve,(add a 'd')
Unrecognized lost (perhaps 'loss' instead) of humanity.
Our country is like (the) titanic we are sinking.
Thanks for sharing!
Sunshine, Rainbows, and Unicorns from my heart to yours
~ Christine ~
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thank you for reading.
Comment from Carlos' girl
This is one kickin' poem. The title sets the tone for this odyssey which is almost like a litany it has such singular force and urgency. Very relevant to the times we are in. Is it too late? Never. There is always hope.
Keep writing friend.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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This is one kickin' poem. The title sets the tone for this odyssey which is almost like a litany it has such singular force and urgency. Very relevant to the times we are in. Is it too late? Never. There is always hope.
Keep writing friend.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your positive vibe and feedback.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Another strong one young lady.
I do have several suggestions though:
Line 5: "shooting" should be "shootings"
Line 6: MAYBE change "tax prices" to "taxes"?
Line 7: "cora" should be "coral"
Line 11: "serve" should be "served"
Line 16: "bulks" should be "bulk"
Line 18: "lost" should be "loss"
Line 21: PERHAPS "scriptures" should be "scripture"
Line 28: "makes" should be "make"
Line 32: "I" should be "I'd"
Line 35: Fix comma spacing between "violence" and "racism"
Line 41: PERHAPS "are nothing but pest" to "is nothing but a pest"
A lot of suggestions but no worry, your mind is laid out in the verse, and I know what you are saying. I just want to make sure others can see what I feel and do not cripple you because of some grammatical or syntax error. Please consider my suggestions.
You did it again Charity. Thank you for being on FanStory. Here's my six-stars to show you I am not letting my mouth write a check my A__ can't cash. Give me more!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Another strong one young lady.
I do have several suggestions though:
Line 5: "shooting" should be "shootings"
Line 6: MAYBE change "tax prices" to "taxes"?
Line 7: "cora" should be "coral"
Line 11: "serve" should be "served"
Line 16: "bulks" should be "bulk"
Line 18: "lost" should be "loss"
Line 21: PERHAPS "scriptures" should be "scripture"
Line 28: "makes" should be "make"
Line 32: "I" should be "I'd"
Line 35: Fix comma spacing between "violence" and "racism"
Line 41: PERHAPS "are nothing but pest" to "is nothing but a pest"
A lot of suggestions but no worry, your mind is laid out in the verse, and I know what you are saying. I just want to make sure others can see what I feel and do not cripple you because of some grammatical or syntax error. Please consider my suggestions.
You did it again Charity. Thank you for being on FanStory. Here's my six-stars to show you I am not letting my mouth write a check my A__ can't cash. Give me more!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Check out my other poems. I believe you would love them as well.
Comment from karenina
Great title! With your strong unrelenting personal truth you pound away at hypocrisy and double standards...
The pious judgement of some who do not know, nor try to understand the reality of your experience.
Empathy and compassion are generally on "display" for a short time after a school shooting... Then it becomes a political football.
Do not underestimate the power of your words.
Change begins with awareness.
Shout the uncomfortable truth!
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Great title! With your strong unrelenting personal truth you pound away at hypocrisy and double standards...
The pious judgement of some who do not know, nor try to understand the reality of your experience.
Empathy and compassion are generally on "display" for a short time after a school shooting... Then it becomes a political football.
Do not underestimate the power of your words.
Change begins with awareness.
Shout the uncomfortable truth!
Karenina
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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You know I will my friend. I can only tell the raw true.
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Do not stop...
except to take a bow!
Comment from Lilly Flowers
You did a good job expressing the anger and frustration that we all feel. I'm amazed at all your strong rhyming words. I'm wondering if you ever perform at clubs. Your words pop off the screen and I can hear them. Regards, Lilly
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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You did a good job expressing the anger and frustration that we all feel. I'm amazed at all your strong rhyming words. I'm wondering if you ever perform at clubs. Your words pop off the screen and I can hear them. Regards, Lilly
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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I do poetry slams. My poems definitely capture the crowds and have them pondering.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I love the teardrop encompassing the earth.
You make a lot of good points but in my opinion, you try to cover too much ground in one poem. I question whether we all need mental surgery and I am not sure that we can redeem ourselves by bringing back the dead children from the shooting. You have a lot of potentials and I applaud your attempt at writing a long piece and placing it on the welcome page for everyone to read.
Some of this I can relate to yet other lines seem over the top to me.
Thanks for sharing and for letting me share.
Jesse
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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I love the teardrop encompassing the earth.
You make a lot of good points but in my opinion, you try to cover too much ground in one poem. I question whether we all need mental surgery and I am not sure that we can redeem ourselves by bringing back the dead children from the shooting. You have a lot of potentials and I applaud your attempt at writing a long piece and placing it on the welcome page for everyone to read.
Some of this I can relate to yet other lines seem over the top to me.
Thanks for sharing and for letting me share.
Jesse
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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I write down what comes to my head. It's natural. Thanks for your feedback.
