Reviews from

The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #9"
America's First Female Comic

29 total reviews 
Comment from dmt1967
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I had a hard time understanding the dialogue but I got the gist of it and found it a very compelling plot. I thought it was very well written. Thank you for sharing and take care.

 Comment Written 16-May-2022


reply by the author on 16-May-2022
    Thank you, my friend, for giving it a shot. Apparently it's an acquired taste, Fanny's dialogue. Some folks live for their bi-weekly fix. Go figure!
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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A well written act, and nice telling a tale within a tale. It is true this play is heavy on the dialogue and single sets with low action, but you do a good job bringing the readers in with emotional conversation tone of your two MCs.

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 16-May-2022
    Yes, and you're right, Lance. I do have a lot of trouble with staging with all my plays. With "Genius in Love" I had two or three actors on stage for each scene, and I had a feeling of the action being rather static. Same with the Priest play. Everything took place in his house with few characters per scene and the energy coming only from their conversations. I need to study some old plays. Thank you for reading and for your kind words.
Comment from juliaSjames
Excellent
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I can see you're building to a climax Jay..But the pause came at a good time, at least for me. I've got used to the reporter as a foil, so my attention was on Ms Fanny. Only this time she too was a foil for her fourteen year old self in that long ago courtroom.

Riveting work.

Stay safe and blessed

Julia


 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 16-May-2022
    Yes, Julia, it became a story within a story with all characters being filtered through her dialect. I found an answer for that paradox in the next scene. Thank you so much for reading this and weighing in.
reply by juliaSjames on 16-May-2022
reply by juliaSjames on 16-May-2022
    Well done, Jay


    Hugs Julia

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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This is a good amount of words as we reach this more climatic stage. Fanny's dialect seems to be getting a little thicker, or my brain is a little slower tonight. Your story is so interesting, we aren't likely to forget much of what was said tonight if we have to wait awhile for the next segment.

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 16-May-2022
    No, Carol, I don't think your brain is slower, I've noticed her dialect getting thicker myself. I'll have to rein back on that. I just want to thank you for your continued patience, Carol. You've been here at each scene, and I appreciate it. Truly!
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
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Another good scene. I like the story line, but I have problems understanding Miss Fanny. I'm eager to read more to find out what happens. Have a great evening. Shirley

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 16-May-2022
    Thank you, Shirley for giving it the old college try. Yes, I fear I might have gone a bit overboard with her dialect early on, then I had to carry on with it. Thank you so much for reading.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
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Jay your writing Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #9
Jay It looks like I came in the middle of your play,
Here I am liking Fanny (she is the same age I am)
It's nice to read how sharp she is and yes I find her a bit witty, It took me awhile to get what Fanny was saying.
I found that I liked the unique dialog more and more as I was reading Act III Scene 2
See you after the intermission.
Gert


 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 16-May-2022
    Oh, good ... does that mean I can count on you for the next segment? Over the next two scenes, I promise you the reading will be a lot less cumbersome.
reply by Gert sherwood on 16-May-2022
    Jay you are welcome
    Yes, I plan to read the next segment.
    Gert
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You have me so hooked with this, Jay, that I'd be happy to read all three parts without any intermission for two cents. The characterisation of Fanny is so vivid I feel I'm in the same room with her and near as uncomfortable as poor old Robert! Your phonetic spelling of the dialect works well and I'm having no difficulty in hearing the way Fanny speaks. Just brilliant.

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 16-May-2022
    Goooooollllllly, Tony! Thank you for your wonderful comment. I'm grinning ear to ear. I have a hunch you'll enjoy the next two or three scenes. (I found a way to rely less on Fanny's dialect!) Thank you for your shiny six stars.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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This episode did not disappoint. A lot of surprises were revealed, that held me spellbound. I'm one of those readers not bothered by length if the story is well written and interesting. I would sit at the computer all day, have meals while reading on my phone, and prop up in bed, if necessary. I've done it with books. I understand your dilemma with posting. I'll be here patiently waiting.

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 15-May-2022
    Thank you, Lorraine. Reviews like yours make it all worthwhile.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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Well, I got sidetracked with some health issues and missed last parts of your previous script and I've missed all of this one. But I can always enjoy your outstanding writing even in bits and pieces. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 15-May-2022
    Thank you Ric. To summarize what you missed: The reporter struggled to keep Fanny on track, and Fanny kept evading him. I hope you're feeling well again, my friend.
Comment from RGstar
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Just wanted to pop in to support. Words for me are difficult at this time, but good to get back to some kind of normality if can. I will not stay long but to say; it has been a pleasure supporting this, although reading again for a while, I understand the need to split into two.
I had to hold on to it, knowing I was rusty.
A very well done.
Best wishes.
RG

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 15-May-2022
    Bless you, R.G. I value your support. I support you in your grief.