The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Return Chapter 15"Erotic Turmoil
37 total reviews
Comment from F. William Lester
Intriguing as always. Another well-written chapter. I loved the reference to "Mr Cranky-Smythe". I laughed out loud at that one. You certainly weave a story with some interesting twists. I like the way Margot and Bessie collaborated against old "Cranky-Smythe". One small item: in this quote, "Mr Crankston-Smythe looked with longing at the door before his shoulders slumped, in what Margot hoped was defeat. His only escape was barred by the ghost, who had returned to her spot by the door, still with the paper in her hand." I would've had Bessie slam the door at that point for emphasis. Also, was the absence of a period following "Mr" intentional? Looking forward to more. Best to you and your family, Sandra, and Happy Easter. Stay well, my friend.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Intriguing as always. Another well-written chapter. I loved the reference to "Mr Cranky-Smythe". I laughed out loud at that one. You certainly weave a story with some interesting twists. I like the way Margot and Bessie collaborated against old "Cranky-Smythe". One small item: in this quote, "Mr Crankston-Smythe looked with longing at the door before his shoulders slumped, in what Margot hoped was defeat. His only escape was barred by the ghost, who had returned to her spot by the door, still with the paper in her hand." I would've had Bessie slam the door at that point for emphasis. Also, was the absence of a period following "Mr" intentional? Looking forward to more. Best to you and your family, Sandra, and Happy Easter. Stay well, my friend.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Frank. I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading this part. The door was already shut, but I like your idea so I'm going to change it and have Bessie slam it. I love good suggestions like that!
The missing period from Mr is intentional, we don't put them after Mr and Mrs or Miss, in the UK. It's the same with our speach tags, we only use single, whilst you use the double. We just have to be different! Lol. Though personally, I would prefer the double speach tags. Thank you, my friend, for this really lovely review, I really appreciated it. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
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Good to hear from you, Sandra. You're most welcome. Interesting differences in our language--I noticed you also use speach as opposed to our speech. Makes life interesting. Have a Happy Easter.
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No! It was a spelling mistake! Lol. We spell it 'speech' the same as you. Sometimes my fingers go faster than my brain. You have a happy Easter, too, my friend. xxx
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Thank you. Forgive me for not stepping out of my editing mode. Stay well.
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Nothing to forgive, Frank, but I won't forgive you if you do step out of your editing mode! I wouldn't have known about the spelling mistake for one thing!! Lol. Keep it up, my friend. xx
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Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. :)
Comment from alexisleech
What a fabulous chapter! Just like 'This Time That Time,' you used ghostly happenings to get a result - hilarious! Now the only question is how the horrible lawyer will react. I can't wait to find out.
As always, a beautifully written chapter that had my eyes glued to the screen from start to finish.
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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What a fabulous chapter! Just like 'This Time That Time,' you used ghostly happenings to get a result - hilarious! Now the only question is how the horrible lawyer will react. I can't wait to find out.
As always, a beautifully written chapter that had my eyes glued to the screen from start to finish.
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thank you soooo much, Alexis! I've just answered your email, twice!! Lol. I had another review think the same as you. I think Bessie and Mildred are cousins. Lol. Thank you for the golden star, my friend, I'm glad you liked it. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from giraffmang
Hi sandra,
Good stuff here. Really enjoyed this chapter. the 'host scene' was excellent.
I did notice a few adverb things, they tend to come together when you use them which makes them more noticable.
stopped abruptly. Her expressive eyes narrowed ominously. / Grinning cheerfully, she managed to stagger across the room and stand in front of him. It was getting heavier by the second. When she nearly dropped it, the man, now worried about his precious portrait, instinctively / barely able to keep his balance and nearly dropping / Margot said softly. Mr Crankston-Smythe looked longingly- watch those adverbs in succession.
I'm sure he will be keen to talk to us now,' she turned to the solicitor, 'Won't you?' - won't you is continued dialogue where the previous isn't closed off in the dialogue or after the tag. As such it should be lower case to start.
Margot stomped off and entered the solicitors room - solicitor's.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Hi sandra,
Good stuff here. Really enjoyed this chapter. the 'host scene' was excellent.
I did notice a few adverb things, they tend to come together when you use them which makes them more noticable.
stopped abruptly. Her expressive eyes narrowed ominously. / Grinning cheerfully, she managed to stagger across the room and stand in front of him. It was getting heavier by the second. When she nearly dropped it, the man, now worried about his precious portrait, instinctively / barely able to keep his balance and nearly dropping / Margot said softly. Mr Crankston-Smythe looked longingly- watch those adverbs in succession.
I'm sure he will be keen to talk to us now,' she turned to the solicitor, 'Won't you?' - won't you is continued dialogue where the previous isn't closed off in the dialogue or after the tag. As such it should be lower case to start.
Margot stomped off and entered the solicitors room - solicitor's.
All the best
G
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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That's why I love your reviews, you find things I should see, but don't.
Thanks so much for this. I'll sort them out straight away. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I pray you get completely over the covid quickly, but your write quite well for someone sick. Only found two oops: . . . in prison (') and . . . live(s) to regret it. Looking forward to the next chapter. This one was delightful.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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I pray you get completely over the covid quickly, but your write quite well for someone sick. Only found two oops: . . . in prison (') and . . . live(s) to regret it. Looking forward to the next chapter. This one was delightful.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Carol. I managed to sleep through last night without waking up coughing, that's the worst part. It really hurts! Each day is a little easier.
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you so much for picking up on those nits. I'll go and sort those out now. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from tfawcus
I do hope that you and Graham have a speedy recovery from the dreaded COVID. Whatever the other effects, it certainly hasn't affected your writing. This is a wonderful chapter. What tricks these too are capable of getting up to!
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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I do hope that you and Graham have a speedy recovery from the dreaded COVID. Whatever the other effects, it certainly hasn't affected your writing. This is a wonderful chapter. What tricks these too are capable of getting up to!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Tony. We are improving, I'll be glad when I can stop coughing, it really hurts the throat and the chest. The tiredness is draining, but we are slowly improving. I believe that's because we're fully vaccinated. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter, I worried a lot about whether I'd made loads of errors. You saying what you did has set me up for the day. Thanks, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, that darned old Covid is no fun. I've had both shots and a booster, and I've still have Corona twice. So, I'm hoping you feel better soon. I noticed a bad word in your post, and I had to laugh as it caught me off guard. But sometimes, it's the only way to get your point across. Of course, with me, I rattle off more than I should. Hugs and blessings! Ric
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Well, that darned old Covid is no fun. I've had both shots and a booster, and I've still have Corona twice. So, I'm hoping you feel better soon. I noticed a bad word in your post, and I had to laugh as it caught me off guard. But sometimes, it's the only way to get your point across. Of course, with me, I rattle off more than I should. Hugs and blessings! Ric
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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I've had all my vaccinations, too. The only thing I'm thinking is because we did, the virus isn't hitting quite as hard as it would have done. I hope you're well and truly over it now?
I'm so sorry that I shocked you with the 'bad word' LOL. Margot was really angry and she did rather let rip! But she wanted to let old Cranky know that she meant business. Let's see if it worked. Thank you so much for this lovely review, and the golden star, Ric. You're a sweetheart! Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
A ghostly tale of revenge is always good for the soul.
Bessie seems to have taken notes from a couple of time travelers. :)
Mr Cranky will not sleep well tonight, but I'm sure
we have not heard the last from him.
A forged note will certainly add to Cranky's problems. Nice touch.
Great, fun chapter.
Well done.
Hope you and Graham are both improving.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Hello Sandra,
A ghostly tale of revenge is always good for the soul.
Bessie seems to have taken notes from a couple of time travelers. :)
Mr Cranky will not sleep well tonight, but I'm sure
we have not heard the last from him.
A forged note will certainly add to Cranky's problems. Nice touch.
Great, fun chapter.
Well done.
Hope you and Graham are both improving.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Shhh, Mildred and Bessie are related!! Lol. No, Mr Cranky will be back. Thank you so much, Robert, for this lovely review and for the golden star. It took ages to write this part because my head kept leaving my shoulders. I'm glad you liked the possibility of the note being forged. Thanks, my friend, warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Begin Again
My dear friend, I hope you are recovering and not suffering from this stupid virus that is plaguing everyone. I read this yesterday but did not respond until today. It's outstanding as usual. You play the spirits very well. Wonderful job!
My thoughts and prayers are with you! Sending many hugs and all my love you way...Your friend always, Carol
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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My dear friend, I hope you are recovering and not suffering from this stupid virus that is plaguing everyone. I read this yesterday but did not respond until today. It's outstanding as usual. You play the spirits very well. Wonderful job!
My thoughts and prayers are with you! Sending many hugs and all my love you way...Your friend always, Carol
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Carol. I'm feeling better today, still tired but the coughing is easing, thank goodness. My ribs hurt when I cough.
I'm so pleased you liked this chapter, thank you so much for the lovely review and the golden star!
How are you doing, Carol? It's been a while since you last posted, and I'm really worried about how you're coping. I miss you. Sending you a humongous hug, dear friend. Love, Sandra xxx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I'm thinking your ghosts, in your story, are invisible and appear when they want too are a little scary. A ghost is made of energy. They're invisible. You can't touch them, they're not solid so they're intangible. When a spirit makes itself appear it has to draw energy from around them which isn't always easy to do. That's why you'll hear people say I seen an apparition (the appearance of something remarkable.)
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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I'm thinking your ghosts, in your story, are invisible and appear when they want too are a little scary. A ghost is made of energy. They're invisible. You can't touch them, they're not solid so they're intangible. When a spirit makes itself appear it has to draw energy from around them which isn't always easy to do. That's why you'll hear people say I seen an apparition (the appearance of something remarkable.)
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Yes, I don't think I'd like to see a ghost. I've had them in my other novels, where they are as you describe them. Bessie isn't a ghost, just invisible to those she doesn't want to see her. I like my characters to be different! Lol. Bessie was only pretending she was the ghost of Lord Crawley, and Margot-Meg was playing along. Now he will look rather ridiculous if he goes telling people he'd had a visitation. Bessie and Margot have won this round, for now. Thanks so much, Rosemary, for another lovely review, I really appreciate it. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Cindy Warren
It's going to take more than a scare to get the truth out of someone like that. He knows he'll be in a lot of trouble. I'm sure Margot and Bessie can come up with something. Wishing you a speedy recovery!
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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It's going to take more than a scare to get the truth out of someone like that. He knows he'll be in a lot of trouble. I'm sure Margot and Bessie can come up with something. Wishing you a speedy recovery!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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You're right, Cindy. We'll have to see what Margot and Bessie can do about that. Thank you so much, my friend. I'm feeling quite poorly, but better than I did. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx