The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Return Chapter 14"Erotic Turmoil
31 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Warren
He must be seeing Bessie. Who exactly is she to inspire such terror in him? It's going to take something pretty drastic to get the truth out of him, I think. I can't imagine what it might be, and I can't wait to find out.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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He must be seeing Bessie. Who exactly is she to inspire such terror in him? It's going to take something pretty drastic to get the truth out of him, I think. I can't imagine what it might be, and I can't wait to find out.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Hi Cindy, thank you so much for another of your most encouraging reviews, I'm so pleased you are still enjoying my story! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This chapter was awesome, Sandra. You covered several crucial aspects in your on-going story. Everything fits and carries the work forward making readers eager to read the next--me included. You led up to the merging of Meg and Margot perfectly. When it actually happened your words were well chosen and expressed the fear Margot had about the process. I like the use of italics. Mr. Crankston-Smythe seems to be a devious man. I hope he doesn't do anything to hurt Margotmeg. She was persistent in her new found courage to find answers to the conniving man. I like that you included Meg will remember all that happened and think she did it--kinda like a mind-meld from Star Trek. Crankston-Smythe seems adamant about the no-gambling, so perhaps he swindled the money.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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This chapter was awesome, Sandra. You covered several crucial aspects in your on-going story. Everything fits and carries the work forward making readers eager to read the next--me included. You led up to the merging of Meg and Margot perfectly. When it actually happened your words were well chosen and expressed the fear Margot had about the process. I like the use of italics. Mr. Crankston-Smythe seems to be a devious man. I hope he doesn't do anything to hurt Margotmeg. She was persistent in her new found courage to find answers to the conniving man. I like that you included Meg will remember all that happened and think she did it--kinda like a mind-meld from Star Trek. Crankston-Smythe seems adamant about the no-gambling, so perhaps he swindled the money.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Hi Jan, I loved that you brought up the mind-melding with Spok, I was really pleased you thought that. Again, you have given me a review that blows my mind. Thank you so very much, my dear friend, and an extra hug coming your way for the sixth star!! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
What an exciting ending. I wonder if the truth comes out when Margot's visit explodes into a contest of bitterness. Probably Lord Crawley and Lord Brandon will be exposed.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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What an exciting ending. I wonder if the truth comes out when Margot's visit explodes into a contest of bitterness. Probably Lord Crawley and Lord Brandon will be exposed.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Rosemary! I'm delighted you found the ending exciting, you made my day with that. I think you'll like what he saw. Thanks, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from estory
I think you did a good job of orchestrating that body shifting moment when Margot becomes Meg. I liked how you put in those tingling, painful sensations as she dissolves into this void. It's nice and spooky. Then there is that moment when the doctor realizes there is something very different about Meg. She has a temper now, a different personality. estory
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I think you did a good job of orchestrating that body shifting moment when Margot becomes Meg. I liked how you put in those tingling, painful sensations as she dissolves into this void. It's nice and spooky. Then there is that moment when the doctor realizes there is something very different about Meg. She has a temper now, a different personality. estory
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Aww, thank you, Estory, what a nice review. I'm really so pleased you liked the transition from Margot moving into Meg. It took me ages to write that part. Your comments about it made my day. Thank you, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from alexisleech
Another fantastic chapter, Sandra. And the ending.... well, you've done it again! Your ability to build the scene in your reader's head is fantastic, and it takes me there every time.
As always, I eagerly await the next chapter!
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Another fantastic chapter, Sandra. And the ending.... well, you've done it again! Your ability to build the scene in your reader's head is fantastic, and it takes me there every time.
As always, I eagerly await the next chapter!
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Alexis, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter, it was a hard one to write. The sixth star has made my day. Thank you, dear friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from tfawcus
Great chapter. Margaret's trepidation comes across well, as does the visceral description of her merging with Meg. Love the way Bessie acts and reacts to the situation. Great scene with the solicitor and what a cliffhanger at the end!
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Great chapter. Margaret's trepidation comes across well, as does the visceral description of her merging with Meg. Love the way Bessie acts and reacts to the situation. Great scene with the solicitor and what a cliffhanger at the end!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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What a really lovely review, Tony, thank you so much! It took several deletes to get that merging right, and then kept my fingers crossed that it would work with you and everyone else. I'm well chuffed! Thank you, also for the golden star, my friend. I'll be smiling right through till bedtime. :)) Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Jay Squires
Okay! The action is really starting to ramp up! I'm afraid I'm a little confused about the body switch by Margot. It would have made perfect sense in a paranormal way if Bessie hadn't mentioned that Meg was still asleep, but that somehow her brain would be connected later with Margot's. It leaves me with a kind of out-of-sync feeling about their hook-up. Should I just be patient and let it work its way out?
A couple of things I noted, below, both minor.
'You's going to be fine, so stop all this fretting.' [Since this short paragraph began with Margot's sigh, wouldn't Bessie's assuring dialogue be in the next paragraph? I thought at first that the dialogue was Margot's.]
Oh, what happened? Why is it so dark? [Wow! this paragraph is disquieting! Easy to imagine panic setting in.]
Don't you think I would have done had I been able? [Is this sentence British syntax, or does it need some changing, like adding "something" after "done"?]
It's a good thing you are regular with your posting. I can wait, though it will not be easy, until next Saturday night.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Okay! The action is really starting to ramp up! I'm afraid I'm a little confused about the body switch by Margot. It would have made perfect sense in a paranormal way if Bessie hadn't mentioned that Meg was still asleep, but that somehow her brain would be connected later with Margot's. It leaves me with a kind of out-of-sync feeling about their hook-up. Should I just be patient and let it work its way out?
A couple of things I noted, below, both minor.
'You's going to be fine, so stop all this fretting.' [Since this short paragraph began with Margot's sigh, wouldn't Bessie's assuring dialogue be in the next paragraph? I thought at first that the dialogue was Margot's.]
Oh, what happened? Why is it so dark? [Wow! this paragraph is disquieting! Easy to imagine panic setting in.]
Don't you think I would have done had I been able? [Is this sentence British syntax, or does it need some changing, like adding "something" after "done"?]
It's a good thing you are regular with your posting. I can wait, though it will not be easy, until next Saturday night.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Jay, for another lovely review, and all the stars. I've rearranged that sentence now:
Bessie heard Margot's big sigh and realised how nervous she was getting. She smiled and went over to give her a comforting hug. ?You?s going to be fine, so stop all this fretting.?
The other one about Meg being asleep. I wasn't sure how to put that, but as one reviewer said, it was like the scene in Ghost, with Patrick Swayze merging with Whoopi Goldberg. What I've done is put it this way, as Bessie wouldn't say anything that is not in her understanding. It now reads: 'No, Meg?s self is sleeping...
And finally, the sentence: Don't you think I would have done had I been able?... is continued from the previous sentence. I've added 'so' after done now and joined the two sentences with a semicolon: ....there was nothing I could have done to stop his gambling; don?t you think I would have done so had I been able?....
I'm glad you raised those points, that's what I like about you, you find things I don't. I really appreciate all your input, my friend, thank you! Love and hugs, Sandra xxxx
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Thanks! You Brits and us Yanks ain't so far apart after all!
Comment from aryr
What a fantastic continuation chapter, Sandra. Just the simple fact that Margot was able to merge with Meg/Margaret was phenomenal. Then she confronted Mr. Crankston-Smythe. I do wonder what he saw that his face paled, his eyes terror-stricken. Perhaps he saw the real Meg or Meg's mother. Very well done, greatly enjoyed. Blessings, hugs n smiles!
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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What a fantastic continuation chapter, Sandra. Just the simple fact that Margot was able to merge with Meg/Margaret was phenomenal. Then she confronted Mr. Crankston-Smythe. I do wonder what he saw that his face paled, his eyes terror-stricken. Perhaps he saw the real Meg or Meg's mother. Very well done, greatly enjoyed. Blessings, hugs n smiles!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I'm so pleased you liked this chapter, Alie, it was the hardest one to write and make it sort of believable. I also had fun writing it. :)) Thank you so much for this such encouraging review, my friend, I really appreciated it. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
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You are so very welcome, Sandra. Warm hugs!
Comment from BethShelby
I don't know how I can wait to see what the solicitor saw over Margot's head that has him turning pale. You have me on pins and needles. The part where Margot merges with Meg reminds me of the movie Ghost where
Patrick Swayze merges with Whoopi Goldberg. I hope you've seen that movie. Bessie had the power to make the two of them merge. She knows better than to leave Margot to try this with no help from her. It seems to be her assignment to mastermind the whole thing. Great story.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I don't know how I can wait to see what the solicitor saw over Margot's head that has him turning pale. You have me on pins and needles. The part where Margot merges with Meg reminds me of the movie Ghost where
Patrick Swayze merges with Whoopi Goldberg. I hope you've seen that movie. Bessie had the power to make the two of them merge. She knows better than to leave Margot to try this with no help from her. It seems to be her assignment to mastermind the whole thing. Great story.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I loved that film, Ghost, and have watched it a few times. That the way I wrote the merging reminded you of that film was such a compliment, thank you so very much. You might be right about Bessie! Thanks again, my friend, love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
That's a brilliant way to end a chapter, nobody will want to resist seeing through the lawyers at what is terrifying him, did Bessie appear? I guess I'll have to wait until I know for sure, beautifully written Sandra, you've done a good job here, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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That's a brilliant way to end a chapter, nobody will want to resist seeing through the lawyers at what is terrifying him, did Bessie appear? I guess I'll have to wait until I know for sure, beautifully written Sandra, you've done a good job here, blessings Roy
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I'm glad you liked the ending, Roy, I couldn't help laughing when I decided to end it there. Thank you for this lovely review, my friend, you made me smile!! Love and hugs. Sandra xx
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Bless you