The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #4"America's First Female Comic
32 total reviews
Comment from amahra
I don't know why, but unlike Cornelius in the previous play, (not your fault) I don't seem to care about Miss Fanny that much. But I'll hang in there. However, the six stars are for your awesome writing ability.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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I don't know why, but unlike Cornelius in the previous play, (not your fault) I don't seem to care about Miss Fanny that much. But I'll hang in there. However, the six stars are for your awesome writing ability.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Fanny's old, and a bit of a curmudgeon. See if you like her a bit more when you catch her act next scene (If I get it finished!). You have a new bio-pic. Me likes it! (Grammarly has no sense of humor!) Thank you so much for your six stars. Appreciated.
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I'm glad you liked the biopic. Why couldn't you just say cranky? You just had to make me leave the site and look up curmudgeon. And who says curmudgeon anyway. Oh... and Grammarly also hates dialogue. Kept telling my character buttwipe was but twice. LOL!
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I says curmudgeon, LOL. Cranky can be for any age. Curmudgeon occupies a spot next to the walker on the front porch. The walker is used to keep from falling while you're chasing away the kids.
Comment from Spitfire
Is the Army of Uriel real? If so, one of the purposes behind this play to resurrect a lost piece of history? Would prisoners really respect and love another inmate? I'm hoping the next scene will clear up things. What actress would you want to play Fanny?
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Is the Army of Uriel real? If so, one of the purposes behind this play to resurrect a lost piece of history? Would prisoners really respect and love another inmate? I'm hoping the next scene will clear up things. What actress would you want to play Fanny?
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Army of Uriel is not real. There were one of many splinter groups of what would later become the KKK. I had planned on describing the minimum security prison in more detail. The one in Texas was on a huge farm that was more or less self-sufficient (thanks to the inmates). I haven't considered who would play Fanny. You would be much too young. Otherwise the part could be yours for the asking.
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Now the prisoners' empathy makes sense. Too young to play Fanny. What older actresses long to hear a casting agent say that!
Comment from tfawcus
Fanny Barnwarmer is indeed incomparable. Her character comes to life under the expert movement of your pen! I'm loving the finely modulated interactions between her and the reporter.
A couple of small edits:
But miss [Miss] Fanny, I don't understand.
where was your daddy seeing all those--those negroes(') eyes?
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Fanny Barnwarmer is indeed incomparable. Her character comes to life under the expert movement of your pen! I'm loving the finely modulated interactions between her and the reporter.
A couple of small edits:
But miss [Miss] Fanny, I don't understand.
where was your daddy seeing all those--those negroes(') eyes?
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Tony, for the kind words, the 6 stars and the catches. I have a number of other ones I need to fix, but I'm waiting for the run to complete.
Comment from Annette R.
This is the first script I've read on FanStory. I have a couple of observations. In the Methodist church I was raised in there were no deacons, there were church officers. The Baptist church had deacons. During the time frame and considering the characters, I don't think the word Negroes would have been used. You may not want to write the N word that was used so I have heard it pronounced Nig-gra. Your choice of course. I am from the south.
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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This is the first script I've read on FanStory. I have a couple of observations. In the Methodist church I was raised in there were no deacons, there were church officers. The Baptist church had deacons. During the time frame and considering the characters, I don't think the word Negroes would have been used. You may not want to write the N word that was used so I have heard it pronounced Nig-gra. Your choice of course. I am from the south.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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The Methodist Church was big in the North. According to my Google research they had deacons in the North. I will double-check my sources and correct if it is needed. It's important for the authenticity, though this is by no means a historical play. As to Negroes vs. Nigras, in an earlier scene I used Nigra by the Reporter, but he was talking about the blacks in the South and he was trying to make his syntax socially relevant to Fanny. With a play it's hard to keep the current scene accurate without the context of the previous scenes. Thank you, though, for your helpful commentary.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Another wonderful talk with Miss Fanny. I didn't realize Juniper has been in prison so long. It might help to remind readers what Flourney did that Juniper wanted him dead. As the play goes, that might not be necessary as there is no time lapse. Did they call prisons institutes in those days? In the letter it might be better to say (fellow) inmates as it sounds a bit odd without it, almost as if she was a guard. Looking forward to next installment.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Another wonderful talk with Miss Fanny. I didn't realize Juniper has been in prison so long. It might help to remind readers what Flourney did that Juniper wanted him dead. As the play goes, that might not be necessary as there is no time lapse. Did they call prisons institutes in those days? In the letter it might be better to say (fellow) inmates as it sounds a bit odd without it, almost as if she was a guard. Looking forward to next installment.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Excellent point about the use of fellow inmates. I hadn't thought of it contextually. Today's equivalent of that particular prison would be a minimum security prison. I had intended to bring that up somehow in the conversation (and still might) but the plays trajectory took me elsewhere. There would be less forgotten if the play were viewed in real time, as you said, especially when I post scenes every other week, working fitfully during the interim to earn promotion bucks. Any horn-tooting my posts get is largely self-tooted.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jay, You bring up so many issues in this part, and some of them so very painful. The Civil war brought so many scars, scars which are still there up to this day.
Your portrait of Miss Fanny Barnwarmer is outstanding. I also love the reporter's reaction to her. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Hi Jay, You bring up so many issues in this part, and some of them so very painful. The Civil war brought so many scars, scars which are still there up to this day.
Your portrait of Miss Fanny Barnwarmer is outstanding. I also love the reporter's reaction to her. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Thank you again for your enduring kindness, Ulla, and the always lovely 6 stars. I'm so happy you are happy with the portrayal of Fanny and the reporter.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can't wait to read about the trial. You are doing a great job writing this. This is a story that I feel needs to be told, especially today. Thank you for sharing it with us.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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I can't wait to read about the trial. You are doing a great job writing this. This is a story that I feel needs to be told, especially today. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Barbara, for the compliments. I'm just thrilled you've chosen to be aboard for the entire play.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Oh man, I hate that Juniper died. I know there is more to come, but I fear she may have taken the place of Fanny for a crime she did not commit. Absolutist specualtion on my part, but that is part of the fun! This is a great story! Terry.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Oh man, I hate that Juniper died. I know there is more to come, but I fear she may have taken the place of Fanny for a crime she did not commit. Absolutist specualtion on my part, but that is part of the fun! This is a great story! Terry.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Ohhhhhh, Terry, you threw a curve in your speculation that I hadn't even considered (seat-of-my-pantser that I am). I'm so happy for your belief in me and this play. Your chartreuse crossed-Bandaids means a lot! Thank you, my friend.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading this chapter. The artwork you chose works perfectly here. Choosing an illustration verses a photo gives your writing much more dimension and authenticity. It grabbed me right a way, which I enjoy when reading someone's work.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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I enjoyed reading this chapter. The artwork you chose works perfectly here. Choosing an illustration verses a photo gives your writing much more dimension and authenticity. It grabbed me right a way, which I enjoy when reading someone's work.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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I'm happy you took in the full ambiance, which includes the artwork. I liked it because it sort of fuzzes out reality as the mind tends to do when we look into the past. I hope to see you for another installment next scene. It should be fun.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another excellently crafted scene, Jay. Until now I didn't understand why Juniper was always trying to comfort Fanny. You've cleared that mystery with the telegram, just one of the many surprises shared in the story. Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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This is another excellently crafted scene, Jay. Until now I didn't understand why Juniper was always trying to comfort Fanny. You've cleared that mystery with the telegram, just one of the many surprises shared in the story. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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I hoped with the "ghosty" appearance of Juniper behind and in front of Miss Fanny would convey how deeply they loved each other and tried to protect each other's feelings. Same-sex love in those days was darkly closeted. Thank you, Judy, for your kindness and for the six stars!
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You?re welcome, Jay. I did get that it was a same-sex relationship, and cared very much for each other but I didn?t know what had happened to Juniper, and I didn?t know they?d been separated for such a long time.