Yo'll Always Be My Baby
70 word flash fiction15 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, so the mother killed her baby for some reason. Odd, if she has access to heroin that she wouldn't use it herself. There are easier and cheaper ways to kill a baby. Oh, well, this is very interesting. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Hmm, so the mother killed her baby for some reason. Odd, if she has access to heroin that she wouldn't use it herself. There are easier and cheaper ways to kill a baby. Oh, well, this is very interesting. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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No, the child was no longer a baby but an adult who overdosed accidentally. However, when the mom looked at him, she saw and remembered him as a child.
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A short story that leave us wondering what will happen next. A scenario that too much echoes real life.
The pace is good. The build-up is slow and the reveal is handled with tact.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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A short story that leave us wondering what will happen next. A scenario that too much echoes real life.
The pace is good. The build-up is slow and the reveal is handled with tact.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. Hugs to you.
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You are welcome.
Comment from LisaMay
What an eery and distressing story! You introduce us to the world of irrational behaviour through addiction, where innocents suffer.
Correction: it should be heroin for the drug, not heroine for a female hero.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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What an eery and distressing story! You introduce us to the world of irrational behaviour through addiction, where innocents suffer.
Correction: it should be heroin for the drug, not heroine for a female hero.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the review and helpful comments. Good catch on my spelling error! Hugs.
Comment from pome lover
wow that is powerful, sickening and sad.
You wrote it beautifully, too - leading the reader, for just a second, to think it was a young child, then throwing in the heroin needle as a shocker, leaving us with the bereft mother with her dead, overdosed son.
a very good flash fiction with a punch.
Katharine
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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wow that is powerful, sickening and sad.
You wrote it beautifully, too - leading the reader, for just a second, to think it was a young child, then throwing in the heroin needle as a shocker, leaving us with the bereft mother with her dead, overdosed son.
a very good flash fiction with a punch.
Katharine
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Thank you for your complementary words. I'm so glad that you liked it. Hugs.
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you're welcome, did you get my message about yo'll? should be you'll.
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Note to self: in order to nominate a reviewer, you must reply to a review and not an additional reply after the review. Lol trying again.
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thanks
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Oh my God. What a fantastic piece of flash fiction. Wish I had six stars for this one. The ending is absolutely stunning in its suddenness and poignancy. Well done. After the prompt or contest, let me know who you are and I will fan you. Tim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Oh my God. What a fantastic piece of flash fiction. Wish I had six stars for this one. The ending is absolutely stunning in its suddenness and poignancy. Well done. After the prompt or contest, let me know who you are and I will fan you. Tim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
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Thank you so much for your kind and generous words. I appreciate it.