Rubber Duckie
Toys hold so many memories30 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a sad one, Barry, and an excellent contest entry. We never expect our children to die before us, and when they do, it's devastating. For a little child who hasn't even had a proper taste at life, it's even more so, if that's possible. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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That was a sad one, Barry, and an excellent contest entry. We never expect our children to die before us, and when they do, it's devastating. For a little child who hasn't even had a proper taste at life, it's even more so, if that's possible. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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Sandra,
Thanks for taking time to review my competition entry. Yes a sad ending . Hopefully, the entry will do well in the competition. Please take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry .
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
One has wise head and spiritual faith in God and divinely heart by God's grace could find the spirits and spiritual power in everything, likewise toys hold so many memories and talking or interactions could take place like this; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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One has wise head and spiritual faith in God and divinely heart by God's grace could find the spirits and spiritual power in everything, likewise toys hold so many memories and talking or interactions could take place like this; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 01-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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Thanks for taking the time to review my contest entry. Yes toys are sometimes triggers for both good and bad memories. Rubber Duckie`s are particularly know for it I believe.
Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold
Comment from Susan Newell
Barry,
Wow! This one really packed a punch. I didn't see it coming. I thought maybe it was a boy narrating who had grown too old for tub toys. Excellent contest entry.
Sue
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Barry,
Wow! This one really packed a punch. I didn't see it coming. I thought maybe it was a boy narrating who had grown too old for tub toys. Excellent contest entry.
Sue
Comment Written 29-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Sue,
Thanks for taking the time to review my entry. Glad you enjoyed it and yes I am happy with the ending, although it is sad.
Lets see how it goes.
Take care and have a great day.
Barry
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You are welcome.
Comment from Lisa Tepp
So sad. This reminds me of a friend who was on life support. Someone had brought a singing flower pot that played "You are my Sunshine." We played that song for her until she passed. Your story brought that back--in a good way. Good job!
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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So sad. This reminds me of a friend who was on life support. Someone had brought a singing flower pot that played "You are my Sunshine." We played that song for her until she passed. Your story brought that back--in a good way. Good job!
Comment Written 29-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Lisa,
Thanks for taking the time to review my entry. Glad you enjoyed it although it is a sad ending. Please take care and have a good day.
Cheers
Barry
Comment from Terry Broxson
A wonderful yet sad story for this contest. It could do very well, good luck. In just a few words you have captured the essence of an emotional story. I do wonder where the inspiration came from. Very well-done.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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A wonderful yet sad story for this contest. It could do very well, good luck. In just a few words you have captured the essence of an emotional story. I do wonder where the inspiration came from. Very well-done.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Terry,
Thanks for taking the time to review my entry. Yes it is sad but I feel it is effective as a flash fiction story. The inspiration came from a bit of everywhere really. Thanks again.
Barry Penfold.
Comment from LisaMay
Memories of favoured toys and ear-worm songs can certainly trigger emotions. Your story is cleverly constructed to take us from a happy bathtub toy and Sesame Street fun to a family tragedy.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Memories of favoured toys and ear-worm songs can certainly trigger emotions. Your story is cleverly constructed to take us from a happy bathtub toy and Sesame Street fun to a family tragedy.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Thanks for taking the time to review my entry. A sad ending but works well within the flash fiction story style.
Have a great day and take care.
Barry
Comment from lancellot
Well, I think there is more to the story that we, the reader should feel at the end, but without enough clues, and context, that we would say, 'ah ha' it doesn't quite connect. We don't know anything about Brian. He don't know how old he is. What kind of life he has, so when we read the last line.
There is no emotional connection. Think of it as a punchline without a set up.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Well, I think there is more to the story that we, the reader should feel at the end, but without enough clues, and context, that we would say, 'ah ha' it doesn't quite connect. We don't know anything about Brian. He don't know how old he is. What kind of life he has, so when we read the last line.
There is no emotional connection. Think of it as a punchline without a set up.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Thanks for taking the time to review my entry. Note your comments . Let see what the judges think . I would agree the reader has to do a bit of imagining or assuming about Brian.
Cheers and take care.
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, Rubber Duckie, begins so well then dives into the bathtub of sorrow as the sweet song and buoyant bird are linked to a child's death. So sad.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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This story, Rubber Duckie, begins so well then dives into the bathtub of sorrow as the sweet song and buoyant bird are linked to a child's death. So sad.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Bill,
Thanks for taking the time to review my entry. "Bathtub of sorrow". like the term but yes it is a sad ending. Lets see how the judges rate it in the competition. Thanks again.
Comment from RGstar
Just very good for a flash.
I started reading, not anticipating, and I wasn't disappointed.
Good humour too the last...even the singing projected great imagery.
Good luck with it.
Best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Just very good for a flash.
I started reading, not anticipating, and I wasn't disappointed.
Good humour too the last...even the singing projected great imagery.
Good luck with it.
Best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 28-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Thanks for taking the time to review my entry. Glad you enjoyed it and I was happy with the overall story. Lets see how it goes in the contest.
Have a great day.
Cheers.
Comment from BethShelby
This is well-written flash fiction that starts off with amusing beginning and ends with a tear when we realized the rubber duck that attracted his attention belonged to his deceased child. Flash fiction should have a surprise ending and this one did.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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This is well-written flash fiction that starts off with amusing beginning and ends with a tear when we realized the rubber duck that attracted his attention belonged to his deceased child. Flash fiction should have a surprise ending and this one did.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Beth,
Thanks for taking the time to review my entry. Glad you enjoyed it. I am happy with the way it turned out, although a sad ending.
You take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry