The Competitive Streak
Different strokes for different folks. (399 words)20 total reviews
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I enjoyed this. For all the complaints about Belinda not being competitive and for doing chores to get paid, she had a very good reason. She was being competitive in her writing and her 'friends' were on FS.
Clever use of the picture throwing your reader off and the humor of her polishing the hard and soft balls.
Well done.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
  |
I enjoyed this. For all the complaints about Belinda not being competitive and for doing chores to get paid, she had a very good reason. She was being competitive in her writing and her 'friends' were on FS.
Clever use of the picture throwing your reader off and the humor of her polishing the hard and soft balls.
Well done.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Thanks for your useful review. Another reviewer was a but negative about the story.
-
Not all of us were born to run, some of us just stroll along. Sometimes sports can be too hard on a kid when they do not have the coordination to be successful. They need other avenues to find their talent.
Comment from robyn corum
LisaMay,
Ain't that the truth??!! Sometimes (okay -- often) I feel like my FanStory friends are far more willing to congratulate me and be HAPPY for me - even on the smallest things - than my flesh-and-blood family. hahaha What is THAT about?? hhhhahhahaha Thanks - I really liked this unexpected ending!
I also really enjoyed these unique and fun characters and their way of speaking and looking at things. This was wholly original and FUN! Good luck!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
|
LisaMay,
Ain't that the truth??!! Sometimes (okay -- often) I feel like my FanStory friends are far more willing to congratulate me and be HAPPY for me - even on the smallest things - than my flesh-and-blood family. hahaha What is THAT about?? hhhhahhahaha Thanks - I really liked this unexpected ending!
I also really enjoyed these unique and fun characters and their way of speaking and looking at things. This was wholly original and FUN! Good luck!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Sounds like you are being taken a little for granted on the home front. Here, we know you are brilliantly spectacular and talented, bringing joy, whimsy, wonder and weirdness to life for us adoring masses who lay praises at your dainty feet and wish we had just a smidgin of your awesome ability.
(Do you feel more appreciated now, Sis? xx)
-
Hahaha!! Wow. I knew i liked you for some reason! Thank you!
-
Pat, pat, pat, pat
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Well, you made Belinda into someone using Fan Story as their competitive sport of sorts. This is a clever and topical story about a girl who spent all her time in her room on her laptop computer. All the family was worried but in the end, they had no reason to because Belinda had lots of friends on Fan Story.
The picture of the bowling balls was cleverly deceiving as she had no intention of bowling like her nana did at all.
Thanks for giving me a lift this morning as I once again spend lots of time on my computer on Fan Story.
Have a wonderful Tuesday,
Jesse
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
 |
Well, you made Belinda into someone using Fan Story as their competitive sport of sorts. This is a clever and topical story about a girl who spent all her time in her room on her laptop computer. All the family was worried but in the end, they had no reason to because Belinda had lots of friends on Fan Story.
The picture of the bowling balls was cleverly deceiving as she had no intention of bowling like her nana did at all.
Thanks for giving me a lift this morning as I once again spend lots of time on my computer on Fan Story.
Have a wonderful Tuesday,
Jesse
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Thanks for your terrific review, Jesse! I appreciate your extensive comments.
Comment from Debbie Pope
I like it LisaMay. It's so nice to belong to a website in which all the members consider themselves family. You have taken that notion and run with it, just like Belinda did in her sports inspiration story. I can see my grandson Eddy in your story. He only wants to make movies (and money) on the computer. We should be encouraging that and not try to get him to do something he does not enjoy. Belinda's family just tried to make her feel bad about herself. I'm not too fond of them.
Good story. Good message.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
|
I like it LisaMay. It's so nice to belong to a website in which all the members consider themselves family. You have taken that notion and run with it, just like Belinda did in her sports inspiration story. I can see my grandson Eddy in your story. He only wants to make movies (and money) on the computer. We should be encouraging that and not try to get him to do something he does not enjoy. Belinda's family just tried to make her feel bad about herself. I'm not too fond of them.
Good story. Good message.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Adult's expectations often run counter to what kids actually want to spend their time on. My young friend Andrew spends his spare time gaming on the computer. I have no idea what that is but if he is good at it and it keeps him happy then he is probably learning skills for his future.
In the story, I don't think Belinda's folks were necessarily trying to make her feel bad about herself. They obviously enjoyed sport and thought she could too... after all, what possible pleasure could be gained from holing up in a room tapping away at a computer for hours, hmmm?
-
Parents have a tough job. Part of their duties is tearing the kids away from the computer.
Comment from Pantygynt
So she was competitive after all - in a way we of course well understand. It must have bee difficult to decide what to write about as so many subjects and characters were prohibited. You should be congratulated for steering a safe course between Scylla and Charybdis.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
|
So she was competitive after all - in a way we of course well understand. It must have bee difficult to decide what to write about as so many subjects and characters were prohibited. You should be congratulated for steering a safe course between Scylla and Charybdis.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Thanks for your comments. Yes, I did feel a bit like Odysseus negotiating those obstacles. That contest-setter is very particular.
Comment from Frank Malley
LisaMay establishes a family's personalities and dynamic efficiently. She makes the predictable joke that arises in any discussion of "balls." The story works and makes its point, but might have been stronger with funnier examples of people and expectations, and maybe a more surprising topic for her winning story. This is challenging to accomplish in 400 words, but I think it could be done. This is a good short short, but not an excellent one.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
 |
LisaMay establishes a family's personalities and dynamic efficiently. She makes the predictable joke that arises in any discussion of "balls." The story works and makes its point, but might have been stronger with funnier examples of people and expectations, and maybe a more surprising topic for her winning story. This is challenging to accomplish in 400 words, but I think it could be done. This is a good short short, but not an excellent one.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for your frank review, Frank.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Perfect entry for the ~ Family Story ~ (fiction) writing prompt and best of wishes in the contest my friend! The storyline is captivating and held my attention throughout the piece and the characters interact nicely together throughout;-)
Thanks for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
|
Perfect entry for the ~ Family Story ~ (fiction) writing prompt and best of wishes in the contest my friend! The storyline is captivating and held my attention throughout the piece and the characters interact nicely together throughout;-)
Thanks for sharing this well written piece with us and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Thanks for your supportive comments!
-
;-)
Comment from Wendy G
Love this story. Good for Belinda Inglis being her own person! A very well written family story which meets all the rules and requirements of the contest, and I wish success for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
|
Love this story. Good for Belinda Inglis being her own person! A very well written family story which meets all the rules and requirements of the contest, and I wish success for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Thank you! I'm keen on sports myself, but also writing.
Comment from royowen
You managed to weave in cleverly, a bit sexual ambiguity, but also in your great conclusion of success on our very own site here at fanstory. You're writing predominantly prose now Jenny, and you're rather good at dear girl, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
|
You managed to weave in cleverly, a bit sexual ambiguity, but also in your great conclusion of success on our very own site here at fanstory. You're writing predominantly prose now Jenny, and you're rather good at dear girl, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Thanks for your review, Roy. I've always juggled writing poetry as well as prose items; I think my storytelling is improving.
-
It?s good Jenny
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Belinda Inglis, a sort of some unusual character with her passionate competitive spirit and activities rather than satisfying and interacting with someone's else's passion and interest; she loves to live in her world; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
|
Belinda Inglis, a sort of some unusual character with her passionate competitive spirit and activities rather than satisfying and interacting with someone's else's passion and interest; she loves to live in her world; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
-
Thank you. Yes, it is important to be an individual, true to one's own interests.