Autumn's Demise
8 Word poem40 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
Melissa,
I like the setup - verse and artwork - for this contest entry. While 'Old' gives a sense of time for the season in your poem, IMHO it is somewhat obvious and not needed because of 'passes on.' Then you get down to a lucky seven!
Do like 'golden (with artwork!), whispered breaths' as a phrase.
Mark
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Melissa,
I like the setup - verse and artwork - for this contest entry. While 'Old' gives a sense of time for the season in your poem, IMHO it is somewhat obvious and not needed because of 'passes on.' Then you get down to a lucky seven!
Do like 'golden (with artwork!), whispered breaths' as a phrase.
Mark
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thanks Mark. I think I need to keep the Old because of the syllable count, plus it supports the word "demise" in the title. I always value your comments and opinions! :)
Melissa
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M
I am OK with your reply (re demise), but the contest is eight words or less (-;
M
Comment from barbara.wilkey
What a beautiful way of describing autumn's passing! I enjoyed reading your contest entry. You said so much in only eight words. It takes me 80,000 to say anything. Thank you for sharing and good luck.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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What a beautiful way of describing autumn's passing! I enjoyed reading your contest entry. You said so much in only eight words. It takes me 80,000 to say anything. Thank you for sharing and good luck.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Hello Barbara... thanks so very much for your lovely words... I must say you do a great job with your 80,000 words too!! I appreciate the well wishes!
Melissa
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Hello Barbara... thanks so very much for your lovely words... I must say you do a great job with your 80,000 words too!! I appreciate the well wishes!
Melissa
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Hello Barbara... thanks so very much for your lovely words... I must say you do a great job with your 80,000 words too!! I appreciate the well wishes!
Melissa
Comment from PoemsOfDD
A beautiful picture to represent this finely crafted 8 word poem for the contest. You have created quite a haunting feeling with your words and visual. The first line can be seen as quite sad... with autumn's passing. Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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A beautiful picture to represent this finely crafted 8 word poem for the contest. You have created quite a haunting feeling with your words and visual. The first line can be seen as quite sad... with autumn's passing. Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the competition.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you. DD. I really appreciate your views on this short one... they are always a challenge! Hugs.
Melissa
Comment from June Sargent
This is a lovely and poignant piece that captures that wistful feeling when autumn leaves float by our windows - and we know winter is just around the corner. The artwork is perfect.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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This is a lovely and poignant piece that captures that wistful feeling when autumn leaves float by our windows - and we know winter is just around the corner. The artwork is perfect.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thank you for your lovely words, June!!
Melissa
Comment from Boogienights
This is lovely, so descriptive it gives me a feeling of warmth that I can't explain. Autumn is my favorite time of year and I wish it would never end, but if it has to, this is a nice way to exit. Best of luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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This is lovely, so descriptive it gives me a feeling of warmth that I can't explain. Autumn is my favorite time of year and I wish it would never end, but if it has to, this is a nice way to exit. Best of luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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Hi Sharon! Thank you for your lovely and encouraging thoughts on this one. I always think of autumn as golden and brilliant, but it also fades too... Much appreciated!
Melissa
Comment from Debbie Pope
I love this, Melissa. Old Autumn does it for me. Since autumn is a time of leaves dying, I always think of it as old. That's why autumn is such a melancholy season to me. I also like the golden breaths. It heaves its final breath and it's a beautiful one.
Well done, as usual.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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I love this, Melissa. Old Autumn does it for me. Since autumn is a time of leaves dying, I always think of it as old. That's why autumn is such a melancholy season to me. I also like the golden breaths. It heaves its final breath and it's a beautiful one.
Well done, as usual.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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Hello swede Debbie. Thank you for your lovely words and comments on this farewell to Autumn. I am glad you liked it and noticed the term "golden" I had purposed in my heart to use that term as much as possible this fall, but life got in the way (my mother-in-law passed away) and we have been gone for a month to Arkansas. Perhaps my catchword "golden" can be reused next fall. :). Thanks again!!
Melissa
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I'm sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. Sounds like it was a rough month.
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Hello swede Debbie. Thank you for your lovely words and comments on this farewell to Autumn. I am glad you liked it and noticed the term "golden" I had purposed in my heart to use that term as much as possible this fall, but life got in the way (my mother-in-law passed away) and we have been gone for a month to Arkansas. Perhaps my catchword "golden" can be reused next fall. :). Thanks again!!
Melissa
Comment from zanya
Yes the end is nigh for Autumn - beautifully portrayed here in this 8 words or less poem reminding us of some of Autumn's exquisite beauty 'golden, whispered breaths'
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Yes the end is nigh for Autumn - beautifully portrayed here in this 8 words or less poem reminding us of some of Autumn's exquisite beauty 'golden, whispered breaths'
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Hello Zanya! Thank you for your lovely words and review. I am glad you enjoyed it!
Melissa
Comment from Sally Law
A predicted fate, but beautiful nonetheless. I love the transfer of seasons, especially the amber sunsets. Beautifully penned and illustrated by the art. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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A predicted fate, but beautiful nonetheless. I love the transfer of seasons, especially the amber sunsets. Beautifully penned and illustrated by the art. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Thank you sweet Sal! Our season is definitely changing. Its 43 degrees outside and so chilly! Hugs!
Melissa
Comment from judiverse
I love your personification of autumn. It's old and passes with whispered breaths, just like an old person. Your word choices are all great and contribute to the picture. Beautiful artwork--it works so well with your lines. Good luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I love your personification of autumn. It's old and passes with whispered breaths, just like an old person. Your word choices are all great and contribute to the picture. Beautiful artwork--it works so well with your lines. Good luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Thanks so much, Judi. I am glad you liked it. I had a goal to use "gold" or a derivative of the word in my poetry this fall, but life got in the way LOL. My last attempt at using golden...
Melissa
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You're welcome. You just use whatever words are appropriate. judi
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
' Autumn's Demise ' , is short, succinct and delightfully descriptive. Woven through each short line are the golden threads of truth. It was a pleasure to both read and review this talented poet's work. Good luck with the contest. My fingers are welded together!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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' Autumn's Demise ' , is short, succinct and delightfully descriptive. Woven through each short line are the golden threads of truth. It was a pleasure to both read and review this talented poet's work. Good luck with the contest. My fingers are welded together!
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much Duchess. I am crossing my fingers too and hope it works. LOL.
Melissa
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Melissa, you're more than welcome. Hopefully with fingers crossed, it'll work!!
Bless you,
the Duchess