Reflections in the Interim ...
... eight days down, two days to go26 total reviews
Comment from Begin Again
Not under the exact same circumstances, but I have been there many times in the past. I look back and wonder what slipped gear in my feeble brain allowed me to accept the useless apology every time. I am a self-sufficient survivor so it wasn't that I needed a man. I no longer felt the insane love that once was there, but I continued to tell myself it was just hidden somewhere. Honestly, I don't know why unless it was simply easier to deal with the old than to start a new problem. When I actually made the move... I kicked myself over and over for hanging on when I knew it was senseless. Good luck with your decision.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
  |
Not under the exact same circumstances, but I have been there many times in the past. I look back and wonder what slipped gear in my feeble brain allowed me to accept the useless apology every time. I am a self-sufficient survivor so it wasn't that I needed a man. I no longer felt the insane love that once was there, but I continued to tell myself it was just hidden somewhere. Honestly, I don't know why unless it was simply easier to deal with the old than to start a new problem. When I actually made the move... I kicked myself over and over for hanging on when I knew it was senseless. Good luck with your decision.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
Thanks for stopping by--always a pleasure!
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
As to your story--same deal with my first marriage--17 years--I should have left after 17 days. My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic. On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.
Comment from Mary Shifman
Well, I tell you, you've got far more patience than I have about such things. The folks who adopted me as Nana have similar ideas but knowing how we differ, it was a topic we never broached. It's hard to listen to someone rant and rave and foam at the mouth about something they have no control over, especially when it's something you don't agree on. I think it's better to miss someone from afar than when they're in the same room with them. Tell him you want the old Chuck back and the new crazy Chuck needs to stay away. As always, I enjoyed your post.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
 |
Well, I tell you, you've got far more patience than I have about such things. The folks who adopted me as Nana have similar ideas but knowing how we differ, it was a topic we never broached. It's hard to listen to someone rant and rave and foam at the mouth about something they have no control over, especially when it's something you don't agree on. I think it's better to miss someone from afar than when they're in the same room with them. Tell him you want the old Chuck back and the new crazy Chuck needs to stay away. As always, I enjoyed your post.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
Thankssssss Mary!
Thanks for stopping by--always a pleasure!
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic. On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.
-
You're welcome. I hear you. Eventually, I might date, but I don't know. Now it seems far-fetched. Too soon, to think about it, I guess.
-
Your husband died just last week, is that right? How long were you married? Kids? Must be dreadful for you regardless--I cannot begin to imagine. Divorce sucks, but at least you get done with the one you want to be done with.
-
He died on October 31st. I miss him terribly. It is the worse thing that I've ever been through, but I know he's here in spirit. I was feeling so lost and alone today as I was packing and my eyes fell on a newspaper I'd been using to wrap things in and there was a poem called "Alone." It was saying that although we might feel alone that we were never alone and all those who loved us and crossed over were still with us. It felt like a message to me.
-
Wow! Timely message! Take comfort wherever you can.
Comment from robyn corum
Liz,
It's always interesting to me when people of such discriminate political opinions get together. I have a niece who's a raging liberal who is marrying a staunch conservative. I'm a little worried. *smile*
I sure hope things work out!
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
|
Liz,
It's always interesting to me when people of such discriminate political opinions get together. I have a niece who's a raging liberal who is marrying a staunch conservative. I'm a little worried. *smile*
I sure hope things work out!
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic.
On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.
Comment from Spitfire
I can connect with this. My best friend and part-time lover are okay as long as we don't talk politics. He, too, is a Trump lover! But I keep him because he's willing to drive 90 miles to visit, But like Chuck, he would not come if I had the virus. Missing him is okay too.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
|
I can connect with this. My best friend and part-time lover are okay as long as we don't talk politics. He, too, is a Trump lover! But I keep him because he's willing to drive 90 miles to visit, But like Chuck, he would not come if I had the virus. Missing him is okay too.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic.
On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.
-
I would never marry again, but it's nice to have someone in the wings :-)
-
Keep wide your wings in welcome!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I do completely understand. My husband is having the similar political issues as Chuck. I happen to agree with him, I just allow it to control my thought process or my emotions. Thank you for sharing. I have a feeling you do miss Chuck.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
|
I do completely understand. My husband is having the similar political issues as Chuck. I happen to agree with him, I just allow it to control my thought process or my emotions. Thank you for sharing. I have a feeling you do miss Chuck.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic.
On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
In my family, we get together only once a year with a firm rule - no politics as we have hard left and right in the mix.
Chuck seems to rant then apologize and then again rant and then apologize. Since he appears not to be able to control himself, so maybe you need to set the rule - no politics.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
|
In my family, we get together only once a year with a firm rule - no politics as we have hard left and right in the mix.
Chuck seems to rant then apologize and then again rant and then apologize. Since he appears not to be able to control himself, so maybe you need to set the rule - no politics.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic.
On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.
Comment from Ric Myworld
LMAO! Well, you have to appreciate that Chuck is adamant about his beliefs. I could really get him going with a few of the stories I could tell him about his old buddy D.J.T. I don't like the bumbling idiot and the mistakes we've witnessed with our current president. But I've hated that loud-mouthed blowhard s.o.b. Trump since back in the 1970s when we couldn't even play a friendly game of golf without him cheating. He's always been a stupid, arrogant, pervert, prick, and a terrible golfer. He only got elected President because people didn't want Hillary Clinton and figured "What the heck," including me. I thought he might have grown up and become a better man, and all the ignorant remarks were showmanship to boost his television ratings. But in hindsight, I wish I had my vote back. LOL. Hope Lauren is all better or on her way, and you all have a wonderful weekend, including Sunday dinner with Chuck. :-)
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
|
LMAO! Well, you have to appreciate that Chuck is adamant about his beliefs. I could really get him going with a few of the stories I could tell him about his old buddy D.J.T. I don't like the bumbling idiot and the mistakes we've witnessed with our current president. But I've hated that loud-mouthed blowhard s.o.b. Trump since back in the 1970s when we couldn't even play a friendly game of golf without him cheating. He's always been a stupid, arrogant, pervert, prick, and a terrible golfer. He only got elected President because people didn't want Hillary Clinton and figured "What the heck," including me. I thought he might have grown up and become a better man, and all the ignorant remarks were showmanship to boost his television ratings. But in hindsight, I wish I had my vote back. LOL. Hope Lauren is all better or on her way, and you all have a wonderful weekend, including Sunday dinner with Chuck. :-)
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
Thanks for stopping by--always a pleasure!
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic. On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.
-
I love the way you look at things. I can't do the griping and grumbling tirades either. Heck, to be honest, I can't even deal with a little bitching when I've done something to deserve it. I think your situation is great . . . single as you are. Whether Chuck believes it or not. LOL. At our ages, why get married. We aren't going to have more children who need a name. At this point, it's more about good company than even sex, speaking for myself of course. That's why I pretty much just stay to myself, but that too has its drawbacks :-) Thanks for sharing; although, looking back, it looks like my responses are longer than your post. Sorry, you know how I am.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Oh, oh. I thought Chuck he moved past the political outages, once he'd accepted the truth about the election, but apparently he hasn't? I can understand your concern and questioning.Good luck.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
|
Oh, oh. I thought Chuck he moved past the political outages, once he'd accepted the truth about the election, but apparently he hasn't? I can understand your concern and questioning.Good luck.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
Thanks for stopping by--always a pleasure!
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic. On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Ah, politics, the source of so many fractures in relationships. As far as I can tell, almost everyone goes off on political issues. It triggers our primitive brain that lacks self-regulation!!!!!!!! lol
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
|
Ah, politics, the source of so many fractures in relationships. As far as I can tell, almost everyone goes off on political issues. It triggers our primitive brain that lacks self-regulation!!!!!!!! lol
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
Thanks for stopping by--always a pleasure!
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic. On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Liz,
firstly, what a candidly written reflection... and I guess the reflection is, in part a process in action.
It's almost like I can see the cogs turning while I read it... just asking yourself,"do I miss him?" I guess the answer would more be, 'what do I miss about him?'.
Twelve years is such a long time to be a 'near daily' companion, so it is hard to ascertain the full scope of true feeling... and of course what withdrawals are for you compared to the deposits in relation to the relationship as a whole.
Me, I don't know if I was a daily companion for that long to someone, if corona, or any other glitch would keep me away from my normality or that companion... but that's me.
As you may already of come to the conclusion of... hell, James is invested in this story on a personal level. Well, that's what inspires me... things that speak to me, whether that be fact or fiction... so for that, I'd have to say it's your talent as a writer that's causing this type of review, because you've suck me into your thought process.
I guess there will be a difference when Chuck is back on the scene... and after that long in each other's company, communication, compromise and respecting each others views, all come into the end result... no?
And don't get me started with the supposed leaders of any country at present... well, maybe Jacinda Ardern, but the rest of them I wouldn't give loose change for... our Prime Minister included, narcissists and sociopaths spewing their divide, fear and contradictions at every opportunity. I try not to go there, so sorry for that!
Live life to the best of one's ability, be happy, do what makes you happy, don't be with anyone who doesn't allow the 'happy' and satisfaction into your bubble... Life's way to short, no matter what relationship we are talking about.
Great read, well written... and reviewed a tad too vehemently... oh well, you get that, it happens!
With our thoughts we create,
the grace of self preservation.
Kind regards,
James.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
|
Hi Liz,
firstly, what a candidly written reflection... and I guess the reflection is, in part a process in action.
It's almost like I can see the cogs turning while I read it... just asking yourself,"do I miss him?" I guess the answer would more be, 'what do I miss about him?'.
Twelve years is such a long time to be a 'near daily' companion, so it is hard to ascertain the full scope of true feeling... and of course what withdrawals are for you compared to the deposits in relation to the relationship as a whole.
Me, I don't know if I was a daily companion for that long to someone, if corona, or any other glitch would keep me away from my normality or that companion... but that's me.
As you may already of come to the conclusion of... hell, James is invested in this story on a personal level. Well, that's what inspires me... things that speak to me, whether that be fact or fiction... so for that, I'd have to say it's your talent as a writer that's causing this type of review, because you've suck me into your thought process.
I guess there will be a difference when Chuck is back on the scene... and after that long in each other's company, communication, compromise and respecting each others views, all come into the end result... no?
And don't get me started with the supposed leaders of any country at present... well, maybe Jacinda Ardern, but the rest of them I wouldn't give loose change for... our Prime Minister included, narcissists and sociopaths spewing their divide, fear and contradictions at every opportunity. I try not to go there, so sorry for that!
Live life to the best of one's ability, be happy, do what makes you happy, don't be with anyone who doesn't allow the 'happy' and satisfaction into your bubble... Life's way to short, no matter what relationship we are talking about.
Great read, well written... and reviewed a tad too vehemently... oh well, you get that, it happens!
With our thoughts we create,
the grace of self preservation.
Kind regards,
James.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
-
Thanks for stopping by, James--always a pleasure!
Your responses are invariably thoughtful and eloquent--I am honored that you engage with the piece. So glad we connected!
I've got an extension of 4 days--he decided to stay away until Thursday--he came over to drop off soup on my porch but stayed distant when I came out to greet him--he says he wants to be sure he doesn't give corona to his daughter and ruin her vacation--she's flying to Florida--risky--if she gets corona she can't blame Chuck for it!
My first husband ranted too--on the left-wing. I don't want to hear diatribes regardless.
Chuck and I don't have a true commitment--we knew from the start we'd never marry--religious differences to the extreme. I don't buy into the idea that "it's the same as being married"--as I see it, if you're not married, you're single. Besides, he is not in the least romantic. On the upside, being with him has kept me from making a third marital mistake.