Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Genius in Love, Scene 16"In Search of a Soul
27 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
Once again, skilful characterisation as these people bounce off one another. Not quite so gripping as the scenes with the youngsters, but important background. It helps the audience to understand the role parents play in children's lives, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse!
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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Once again, skilful characterisation as these people bounce off one another. Not quite so gripping as the scenes with the youngsters, but important background. It helps the audience to understand the role parents play in children's lives, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse!
Comment Written 14-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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Yes, Tony, this scene lacks something ... such as a great deal of tightening up. The telephone call was the highlight of the scene, but it took too long to get to it. Thanks, Tony, for the six stars. Your presence in the audience means a great deal to me.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
It's good to know Cornelius is going to lead a normal life under good care leading to a happy ending.
The dialogues are gripping at many levels showing the emotional side of the characters. Phyl and Toley, and Phyllis. Interesting scene. good going!
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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It's good to know Cornelius is going to lead a normal life under good care leading to a happy ending.
The dialogues are gripping at many levels showing the emotional side of the characters. Phyl and Toley, and Phyllis. Interesting scene. good going!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thanks and thanks again for your loyal readership. I appreciate it. This will be soon coming to an end and I hope it will be a satisfying one, if not happy.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I have to admit this was not my favourite scene. For me there was too much rehashingof the one before, and very little new information was revealed. Even so, I am looking forwards to finding out what Mr. Hallows was writing down.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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I have to admit this was not my favourite scene. For me there was too much rehashingof the one before, and very little new information was revealed. Even so, I am looking forwards to finding out what Mr. Hallows was writing down.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Katherine, for your candid commentary. Yes, it was not my best writing, I'm afraid. In the rewrite, It will be tightened up.
Comment from lyenochka
There's a lot of intense communication on several levels here - on the superficial verbal one as well as an underlying emotional one especially between Phyl and Toley, who has some jealousy towards Phyllis. There's a lot of repetition of apologies etc but I guess that's to show us the emotional state of these people. I hope Jennie is okay...
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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There's a lot of intense communication on several levels here - on the superficial verbal one as well as an underlying emotional one especially between Phyl and Toley, who has some jealousy towards Phyllis. There's a lot of repetition of apologies etc but I guess that's to show us the emotional state of these people. I hope Jennie is okay...
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Yes, you picked up on the repetition, Helen. It bothered me as well. At some point we want to say, "Okay, I get it You're sorry!" I tried to use Mr. Hallows as a kind of buffer between them, but I'm afraid he is developing into a non-confrontational person, kind of a ping-pong ball to their rackets.
Thank you Helen for reading this and for your commentary. I need that.
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It still feels natural, even if annoying. Humans obsess when in pain, hence the repetition.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Very good interlude in the story, one that explains much about Cornelius's mother and the hug. Also a great cliffhanger, so scary that I don't know if I want to read what comes next, but I will.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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Very good interlude in the story, one that explains much about Cornelius's mother and the hug. Also a great cliffhanger, so scary that I don't know if I want to read what comes next, but I will.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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Hi, Carol. This was intended to be a study of two emotionally needy women, both of their lives stretched to the max. I'm happy you enjoyed it and are planning on returning for the reveal.
Comment from royowen
Phyllis has fainted, and it seems it's emotional overload, the kind that shuts everything down when the strain becomes too great, not terribly uncommon I'm afraid, it seems like it's more than she can take. Beautifully written Jay, well done, will this have a end? Good job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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Phyllis has fainted, and it seems it's emotional overload, the kind that shuts everything down when the strain becomes too great, not terribly uncommon I'm afraid, it seems like it's more than she can take. Beautifully written Jay, well done, will this have a end? Good job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Roy. I must say, I got a kick out of your, "Will this have an end." I'm estimating 2 more scenes and I'll bring the curtain down for good. Thanks for your blessings, Roy!
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No, it's enjoyable, but I can't pick how it will end/
Comment from lancellot
This is a very good act. I can see where the story is going now. It is fiction so, having Cornelius 'come out of it' is the best and only viable ending. If he doesn't then the tale never ends as he ages. He is cute now at 12, but at 42.
Nice cliff hanger to make sure readers return. A good dramatic finish is always a plus.
I thought the stage directions were on point. There was only one exposition I sw. Not sure if you needed it.
[There follows one of those prolonged silences that occurs when an uncomfortable subject has been exhausted.]
Good work.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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This is a very good act. I can see where the story is going now. It is fiction so, having Cornelius 'come out of it' is the best and only viable ending. If he doesn't then the tale never ends as he ages. He is cute now at 12, but at 42.
Nice cliff hanger to make sure readers return. A good dramatic finish is always a plus.
I thought the stage directions were on point. There was only one exposition I sw. Not sure if you needed it.
[There follows one of those prolonged silences that occurs when an uncomfortable subject has been exhausted.]
Good work.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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"He is cute now at 12, but at 42?" Point well-taken, and made with a dose of humor. I consider you FS's master of the Play/script format. Believe me, I listen to you. Thanks for the sixer, bud!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You've left us in a horrible spot here. My mind is creating all sort so horrible situations. I guess, I'll have to wait until next Sunday to read. Not at all good. Love the story.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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You've left us in a horrible spot here. My mind is creating all sort so horrible situations. I guess, I'll have to wait until next Sunday to read. Not at all good. Love the story.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Barbara. Sorry I'll have to make you wait for the conclusion of the mystery part of this play. The play itself will be over very soon as well.
Comment from Ulla
Oh dear, what the heck has happened, Jay? You have left us hanging. I can't even begin to think what it is, but it has left two people in shock. I wish I could guess what it is.
You had me spellbound throughout the chapter and now this. Can't wait for the next part. It's so very well written. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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Oh dear, what the heck has happened, Jay? You have left us hanging. I can't even begin to think what it is, but it has left two people in shock. I wish I could guess what it is.
You had me spellbound throughout the chapter and now this. Can't wait for the next part. It's so very well written. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Ulla. Your patronage is so very much appreciated. Thank you for your kind words and for the lovely sixer!
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always a pleasure to read anything you write, and even your scripts are filled with details that allow us to be in the moment. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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It's always a pleasure to read anything you write, and even your scripts are filled with details that allow us to be in the moment. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Ric. It always makes me smile to see your name on a review. I'm so pleased you're always here and enjoying the play.