Comment from Carol Clark2

Excellent

Great chapter. Some of the lies are unraveling, revealing the truth. I'm glad to see that Hank doesn't trust Cynthia. Hopefully there is a sliver of goodness left in Jon and he holds answers to Annie's whereabouts. Blessings. Carol

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021

I hope Jon comes through too, but he is always slow to act. A very weak man but maybe now there is more at stake.

Thanks for the review, Carol. Have a great day!

Smiles, Carol

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Intense! Stunning confrontation scene--shock, anguish, and rage ring true to circumstances--brilliant dialog. Tantalizing wrap-up--I'm hopelessly hooked.

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021

Thanks so much, Liz. I really wanted all the emotions and pent up anger to flow from each person so I am glad that you felt it.

Thanks for the review and support.
Smiles, Carol

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Well done on this chapter! Maybe Jon's shame will be genuine and repentance will follow. It would still be hard to love him again. Mary and Faith still have each other. Jon may be able to give some clues re Annie as she is his granddaughter. Well written.
Wendy.

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021

Yes, it would be hard to love him again... To have your first love destroyed not once but actually twice as Mary sees what he has become...wow! I hope he finds enough good in him to help with Annie.

Smiles, Carol

Comment from dellsworthpoet

Excellent

This is an interesting part of what seems to be a complex plot. The characters seem realistic, the dialogue is believable.

My only suggestion for this scene is since it is high tension all the sentences should be terse. The added jumpiness of short sentences would make the scene more immediate and point up the anger and distress.

Thank you for sharing. A good read.

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about how to improve the story. As I rewrite, I will most definitely keep your suggestions in mind. Smiles and best wishes, Carol

reply by dellsworthpoet on 06-Sep-2021

You are welcome.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is an intence chapter and Mary got out some of the bitterness in her heart. Something surprised me. You just told Jon something he didn't know and that was that Cassedy was alive, and he didn't react to that news as I would expected him to. Did you mean for Mary to blurt that out?

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 Comment Written 06-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021

Oh you are right!!! Well, everything is about to unravel and Garth is putting a guard on everyone...but I should show some reaction...Thanks for catching that one! Gold stars for you! I'll need to adjust somewhere. Smiles, Carol

Comment from Judy Lawless

Excellent

I like that the truth is all coming out, and that Jon has faced his own truth. I hope that he'll share what he knows, if anything, about Annie and where she might be. Another very well written chapter, Carol.

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 Comment Written 06-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021

thank you so much for your kindness in reviewing and liking my story. I will be glad when the truth starts to unravel as well.

Smiles, Carol