Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Secrets in the Wind - Chapter 22"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
19 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
How I wish that Cynthia would go for a nice walk in a swamp wood teeming with crocodiles! Mind you, they'd probably spit her out, even crocs don't like bitter meat. :))
At first I thought Jon would shoot himself, but he won't, he's already proved himself to be a coward. Well, you've set the scene, (apart from nosy parker Cynthia getting in the way) now to see where you take us from here. I'm hoping Faith gets to meet her twin!! Well done, my friend!! Hugs and love. Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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How I wish that Cynthia would go for a nice walk in a swamp wood teeming with crocodiles! Mind you, they'd probably spit her out, even crocs don't like bitter meat. :))
At first I thought Jon would shoot himself, but he won't, he's already proved himself to be a coward. Well, you've set the scene, (apart from nosy parker Cynthia getting in the way) now to see where you take us from here. I'm hoping Faith gets to meet her twin!! Well done, my friend!! Hugs and love. Sandra xxx
Comment Written 09-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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I think you are right about Jon... He's a weak man in body and soul. Hopefully, he will find the strength and the desire to redeem himself before it is too late.
As for Cynthia.... I loved your thoughts. She is most definitely a wicked woman trying to dress in sheep's clothing.
I am so far behind on all this reviewing. I apologize.
I am blessed to have Kaitlyn for a few days. She has a friend with her too. Though Matt tells me that Kaitlyn was told not to "run her mouth off" to me because it was none of my business. Therefore, I am just giving her some breathing time and hope it's enough.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Goosebumps again! Both sections are enthralling. You write so very well! It has so many threads, yet you keep track of them all, and your writing is careful, flows well, all the characters are authentic and I SEE them as I read. Well done- as always!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2021
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Goosebumps again! Both sections are enthralling. You write so very well! It has so many threads, yet you keep track of them all, and your writing is careful, flows well, all the characters are authentic and I SEE them as I read. Well done- as always!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2021
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Hello, my friend
I am blessed that you love these chapters because they mean more to me than the crime scenes. Connecting with my characters and their emotions is where I want my readers to be. You are awesome and I thank you for the review and the stars.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from indigovega
I enjoyed reading this chapter even though I'm not aware of the back story.
It's the writing craft that made it such a compelling read for me.
The way you paint a scene is beautiful. It was as if I was witnessing everything happen in from of my own eyes.
I have much to learn from your writing. Thank you!!!
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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I enjoyed reading this chapter even though I'm not aware of the back story.
It's the writing craft that made it such a compelling read for me.
The way you paint a scene is beautiful. It was as if I was witnessing everything happen in from of my own eyes.
I have much to learn from your writing. Thank you!!!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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Thank you Indigo
I appreciate the review and your kind words. I hope that you will continue to follow my writing.
smiles, Carol
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Hi Carol, I enjoy reading your work... You write very well :-)
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thank you...I am flattered!
Comment from royowen
I have to think this is a trick, devised by the FBI to lead Jon into a place of conviction, but what did he do when he was in Cassidy's room? A very interesting episode, and short compared to the other one. Will he commit suicide? Well done Carol great writing, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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I have to think this is a trick, devised by the FBI to lead Jon into a place of conviction, but what did he do when he was in Cassidy's room? A very interesting episode, and short compared to the other one. Will he commit suicide? Well done Carol great writing, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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He exchanged the candy box with poison candy and the nurse ate it instead....She will survive though. They are pretending Cassidy died to keep her safe. He's too weak to commit suicide and I need him for a very important moment. He's got to redeem himself.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Scary reaction! I'm not sure if he's relieved or guilty or at all ashamed of his horrible action. Jon seems to have put on a good act for the officer to treat him with such respect.
Not sure what to make of the Cynthia character. She is too much of a busybody. Hope her intentions are good.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Scary reaction! I'm not sure if he's relieved or guilty or at all ashamed of his horrible action. Jon seems to have put on a good act for the officer to treat him with such respect.
Not sure what to make of the Cynthia character. She is too much of a busybody. Hope her intentions are good.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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They aren't...Keep your eyes on that lady. She pretends to be Liz's friendly neighbor but she is jealous of what she has. Michael wants money somehow too.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Two well-written scenes in this chapter. Both leave me on the edge of my seat with lots of questions. You always know the right place to end a scene. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Two well-written scenes in this chapter. Both leave me on the edge of my seat with lots of questions. You always know the right place to end a scene. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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thanks Carol....
The last chapter should have been two but I just needed to get all that information out there...Thanks for stopping by.
Smiles, Carol
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You're welcome. They're not too long to be one chapter. I know some people won't read longer works, though.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Grabbed and held--vivid, intense, chilling. Stunning finale.
Her curiosity was [smitten=>sugg: PIQUED].
Sugg omit: Cynthia hissed.
A half-empty bottle of burgundy wine and a silver goblet from the altar [claimed residence=>sugg: LAY] beside the drugs.
[sugg insert: AS HE SAT,] alone, except for wine, pills, and a gun, his agony reverberated around the room. (vs Alone ... his agony reverberated)
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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Grabbed and held--vivid, intense, chilling. Stunning finale.
Her curiosity was [smitten=>sugg: PIQUED].
Sugg omit: Cynthia hissed.
A half-empty bottle of burgundy wine and a silver goblet from the altar [claimed residence=>sugg: LAY] beside the drugs.
[sugg insert: AS HE SAT,] alone, except for wine, pills, and a gun, his agony reverberated around the room. (vs Alone ... his agony reverberated)
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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I don't know how you manage to keep up with life and everything on Fanstory...writing, reviewing, replying, reading.... I am drowning. I hate when I get so far behind. My apologies and thank yous.
Smiles, Carol
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I have no real job or responsibilities.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Will Jon take his own life. It wouldn't surprise me. Cynthia's a pain in the butt. Once again you've done a good job.
"Father Jon. It's Officer Johnson from the police department." He rapped on the door again.
"Father, it's important that I talk to you. Are you there?" (spacing issue)
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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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Will Jon take his own life. It wouldn't surprise me. Cynthia's a pain in the butt. Once again you've done a good job.
"Father Jon. It's Officer Johnson from the police department." He rapped on the door again.
"Father, it's important that I talk to you. Are you there?" (spacing issue)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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I don't know how you manage to keep up with life and everything on Fanstory...writing, reviewing, replying, reading.... I am drowning. I hate when I get so far behind. My apologies and thank yous.
I am so trying to catch up and clear the slate before writing anything else... Smiles, Carol
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting couple of scenes. The word choices are good. The pacing fits the activity. Both scenes leave the reader in suspense.
A good read. Thank you for sharing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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An interesting couple of scenes. The word choices are good. The pacing fits the activity. Both scenes leave the reader in suspense.
A good read. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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I appreciate your review and thoughtfulness.
Smiles, Carol
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You are welcome.
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You are welcome