Moonlit Peonies
A summer haiku for the club challenge12 total reviews
Comment from Jarvis Popovich
Something about this poem shows me that you are seeing multiple things at the same time. So we'll explained in the big jump to a mouse being spotted in the dark. I can see it all happening at once. Overall a high mark for this poem!
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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
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Something about this poem shows me that you are seeing multiple things at the same time. So we'll explained in the big jump to a mouse being spotted in the dark. I can see it all happening at once. Overall a high mark for this poem!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
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The Japanese form of haiku often has a twist in the end. Just when you think two lovers are stealing a kiss next to the peonies - I throw in a mouse hiding from an owl. lol Hope you enjoyed the read! Thanks for dropping by.
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That makes sense. Clever. :) I?m enjoying this forum. Very well thought out feedback and comments. Keep up the good work.
Comment from Sugarray77
Hello June. I was sailing along enjoying your poetic nature poem, then boom you threw the mouse under the bus, or should I say owl... LOL. Such a change in theme in the satori. Great job for the Haiku Club!!
Melissa
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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
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Hello June. I was sailing along enjoying your poetic nature poem, then boom you threw the mouse under the bus, or should I say owl... LOL. Such a change in theme in the satori. Great job for the Haiku Club!!
Melissa
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
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The Japanese form of haiku often has a twist in the end. Just when you think two lovers are stealing a kiss next to the peonies - I throw in a mouse hiding from an owl. lol Hope you enjoyed the read! Thanks for dropping by.