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More Grist to the Mill

Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "WW2 Endgame - 1943 -1946"
Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy

28 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another interesting read Jim. It really gives an insight into what it was like for them all as the war ended and all the tidying up of where to put people, Brucker in particular. Now we get to hear a bit about Jack's experiences.
enjoying,
cheers.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
    We have just one more chapter in this book to be posted on Wednesday. Then we will be moving on to Book 3 where Jack, Brücker and Julia step into the limelight as 'time like an ever rolling stream bears' the older generation away.

    Thank you so much for this and earlier reviews.
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
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Well written and as interesting as always.

I picked up a few small points:
'Because of ease in which I managed to turn him - did you mean 'of the ease'?

but in the end I was convinced he was genuine. - maybe comma after 'end'?

For the next three years Gerhard BrĂ¼cker served his time as a POW - comma after 'years'

The prime purpose of these places was to house senior German officers, whom it had been the good fortune of the Allies to capture. - I might have rearranged this slightly. Maybe 'The prime purpose of these places was to house senior German officers, whom the Allies had had the good fortune to capture.

and the deteriorating morale of its people, as the tide of the war swung increasingly in the allies' favour. - should 'allies' have a capital here?

Robert Venables glanced at it briefly to refresh his memory, before taking the buff coloured document in to his superior. - might have hyphenated 'buff coloured'

Venables smiled, remembering all the stuff that had been passed back through BrĂ¼cker's controls at the camps. - maybe 'material' rather than 'stuff' but it's probably not important.

'But things being how they are, now it's over,' Allen responded. 'we'll find him a job tending swine, somewhere nice and quiet, I always feel ambivalent about these people, Robert. - replace comma after 'quiet' with a period.

Remember, he'd just found out that he was half British shortly before he got shot down?' - not sure why this would end with a question mark.

No I don't know his rank. - comma after 'No'

No I don't know precisely when he was shot down, - comma after 'No'

Yes it is to do with BrĂ¼cker, - comma after 'Yes'

And isn't the next chapter going to be interesting? lol

Best wishes
Judy

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Many thanks for your usual, painstaking work. I did not alter the passage you suggested because I hat 'had hads'. In fact the reason I wrote it the way I did was to avoid that 'had had'. I know there is technically nothing wrong with it but i don't like to use it and avoid it when I can.

    The next chapter is the last in this Book 2. Book 3starts on Sunday and I hope you can see your way to continuing your excellentr work on my behalf - I need you!
reply by JudyE on 21-Jun-2021
    I understand about 'had had'. As always, I'm happy just to draw things to your attention. Looking forward to seeing how you draw this book to its conclusion.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    So am I. Lol.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Once again you left us dangling with questions unanswered and leaving us yearning to know what happened to Jack and whether Brucker will be welcomed or rejected, we shall have to wait for the next instalment, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Jack's fate will be revealed in the final chapter, out on Wednesday. Events further down the line will have their time in the sun in Book 3, which begins on Sunday next.

    Many thanks for this splendid, six-star review.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

So the war is finally over, and Allen has to wrap up the details of his investigations, including the disposition of his inside informants. It looks like Brucker will be repatriated to England, but first Allen wants to know what's happened with his English cousin, young Jack Bache. I'd like to know, too!

Here are some suggested revisions:

as the tide of the war swung increasingly in the allies' favour.
-->
as the tide of the war swung increasingly in the Allies' favour.

had been instrumental in alerting the allies to the existence of the July plot against Hitler's life.
-->
had been instrumental in alerting the Allies to the existence of the July plot against Hitler's life.

first came to the allies' notice as a result of the positioning of stool pigeons such as BrĂ¼cker.
-->
first came to the Allies' notice as a result of the positioning of stool pigeons such as BrĂ¼cker. [you capitalized both Axis and Allied, elsewhere in this same chapter]

His stepfather, Horst Liebermannn had, in all probability, died in a concentration camp.
-->
His stepfather, Horst Liebermann had, in all probability, died in a concentration camp.

The accompanying photograph shows a few of the senior officers held in Island Farm POW Camp Near Bridgend in South wales.
-->
The accompanying photograph shows a few of the senior officers held in Island Farm POW Camp Near Bridgend in South Wales.

General major Walther Serini and two more unknown PoWs
-->
General Major Walther Serini and two more unknown POWs

***

Also, I looked up the word "tit-bits," which is more commonly known today as "tidbits." I'm not sure why it's italicized here, or hyphenated. I looked it up, and found both spellings in the British, so I didn't suggest any revisions to it.

That's quite a photo you have, of German POWs. I wonder how many of them were also Nazi war criminals?

I'm really looking forward to learning what happens in the lives of these two Bache family offspring, who fought on opposite sides of the war.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    Thank you for this detailed, six-star review. I am hoping FS will allow me to reward you for your hard work. I have dealt with the points you mention.

    As for tidbits I had never seen it with a 'D' until I came to FanStory. I think it is a piece of Yankee prudery (Lol) which is being forced upon us beleaguered Brits. At ten days off my 80th I shall continue to resist it.
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 21-Jun-2021
    You're very welcome, Jim. I am happy it helped.
    This was the first time I heard of it, but since that was its apparent origin, in Brit speak, tit-bits, it is! (Dare I think that the original expression was related to nest-building activities and morsels collected by the bird known as the titmouse?)
    Thank you for the Reviewing Contest nomination, which is much appreciated! And I wish you a very Happy Birthday, in advance! God bless you. - Mary Kay
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

PANTYGYNT:

And so the war ends, but all the mysteries have not yet been solved. Where is poor Jack? If he is dead, will Brucker go to live with Tommy and Heather and become a pseudo-son for them - or end up marrying Julia, even though they would be cousins, right? What a tangled mess!

Rdfrdmom2

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
    The war may have ended but the book not quite. We will find out about Jack in the final chapter to be posted on Wednesday. Marry Julia? Now there's a thought. Tangled mess ? Indeed it is and not one we can sort out in this book. But Book 3 starts on Sunday...

    Many thanks for this splendid review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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I can almost feel a huge sigh of a fine book nearing completion. You are such a commanding writer, Jim. You have a kind of classical cadence to your book that gives it a brand of dignity not seen in too many other books today. You should be proud of it. Have you been seeking an agent for it yet?

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
    Thank you for this tremendous review and marvelous comments. I havent started looking for an agent yet but I will be. Know any good imternational ones, Jay?
reply by Jay Squires on 20-Jun-2021
    No, I'm sorry. I don't know any agents at all.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Jim,

Whew! I was so far behind. I have now caught up but it took a while. I did not review all the chapters - there just wasn't enough time. Right now, my inbox is overflowing. UGH. I will never get caught up with everyone!!!!!

I am enjoying the story. So many unexpected twists and tangles. Nice!

Thanks a bunch - I cannot even begin to imagine what the third book might hold!

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
    Playing catchup like that you probably get more continuity than doing it a chapter at a time. Thank you for staying with it and for this review.
Comment from lyenochka
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Poor Venables had to track down Jack on the spur of the moment. Allen could have saved on all that time looking out the window. Actually, I am surprised that Allen hadn't checked on Jack long before this since he cares for the Bache family.

I did like learning about the use of the "orderlies" to glean more information about Germany from the POWs.

I loved that comment about reading Venables like a train schedule and the excuse of "fishing" which really was for information not for fish.

Questions:
German was due for release (German what?) something seems to be missing here. (the German?)

What is an O.B.E. ?


 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
    Thank you for this review. Yes the definite articlw went walkabout I'm afraid. It is back where it ought to be. There is a full explanation of the OBE in the notes next time when it gets more of a mention. It is the Order of the British Empire, a decoration for mritorious service not involving gallantry.
Comment from damommy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow! What a chapter. Very interesting with lots of history we never hear. If Gerhard goes to the farm, will the Baches know his connection with them? It might make it easier for him. Great dialogue.


-German was due for release ?

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
    Many thanks for this six star review. The POW camp Brücker ends up in is just down the road from where I live. The CinC of the German army Gerd von Runstedt was held there for a while. The answer to your question will become apparent in Book 3.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I can see this is coming to an end. Now I want to know what happens with BrĂ¼cker, and Tommy and Heather. Will they accept him? And will we know what happened to Jack? I hope this nice author sends Jack home and everyone likes their new half German cousin. But, I know this author, he just doesn't let on what's going to happen, and sometimes he doesn't do what we want him to do! I Really enjoyed this part, my friend. Well done!! :)) Sandra xxxx

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
    Thank you for this lovely six star review. Everyone you mention will be featured in Book 3, which starts a week today. We have one more chapter of this Book 2 to post on Wednesday.
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 20-Jun-2021
    I thought it was coming to an end. This has been an excellent second book in the saga and I can't wait for the next one. I do hope you are looking up agents that delight in this type of saga, there are many around.