More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Jericho, the Edwardian Years"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
27 total reviews
Comment from amahra
The backstory on Tommy is really cleverly flushed out. I like the indoor drama with war as its backdrop. And ending the chapter with a dialogue question is great. It makes the reader eager for more.
Just one thing I found: "I remember Tommy saying to me that when that happens you [has] to remove the radiator cap gently, slowly" That should be..."you [have] to remove..."
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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The backstory on Tommy is really cleverly flushed out. I like the indoor drama with war as its backdrop. And ending the chapter with a dialogue question is great. It makes the reader eager for more.
Just one thing I found: "I remember Tommy saying to me that when that happens you [has] to remove the radiator cap gently, slowly" That should be..."you [have] to remove..."
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Thank you for this kind review. The grammatical point you mention is one of many examples of of Heather's Shropshire dialect speech used by the older generation, and was intentional.
Comment from Sanku
Peter Allen is very patient and he is very clever in subtly guiding the conversation to where he wants. So in the next we would get to know if any pretty german girl played hostess...
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Peter Allen is very patient and he is very clever in subtly guiding the conversation to where he wants. So in the next we would get to know if any pretty german girl played hostess...
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Many thanks for this supportive review. it is much appreciated. Yes, patience will be rewarded - eventually. Lol.
Comment from Judy Lawless
You're introducing some interesting new facts about young Tom's parties and the women he might have met though them. I think it's going to be another compelling read. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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You're introducing some interesting new facts about young Tom's parties and the women he might have met though them. I think it's going to be another compelling read. Well done.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Many thanks for this supportive review. It is much appreciated.
Comment from tfawcus
You have really fleshed out these characters, Jim, and the conversation between them is a delight to read. Skilled use of action tags such as the closing of the blackout curtains keep us firmly in the scene as the backstory progresses. I liked the contrast between the ghastly war outside and the relative calm of Jericho, too.
This is an absorbing tale, wonderfully well told.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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You have really fleshed out these characters, Jim, and the conversation between them is a delight to read. Skilled use of action tags such as the closing of the blackout curtains keep us firmly in the scene as the backstory progresses. I liked the contrast between the ghastly war outside and the relative calm of Jericho, too.
This is an absorbing tale, wonderfully well told.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Thank you for this positive, six-star review. Phrases like 'delight to read in a review are music to my ears. I was particularly pleased with your remark about the blackout curtains as I inserted that with the effect you mentioned in mind.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, it's good that Heather gets to have a private conversation with Allen. It seems that Allen is a very patient listener and only drops a hint at the end to guide the conversation. Poor Heather to have to put up with all that rowdy entertainment. I hope they hired help to do put on the dinners. That's too much work for someone handling the finances and running the farm.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Well, it's good that Heather gets to have a private conversation with Allen. It seems that Allen is a very patient listener and only drops a hint at the end to guide the conversation. Poor Heather to have to put up with all that rowdy entertainment. I hope they hired help to do put on the dinners. That's too much work for someone handling the finances and running the farm.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Thank you for this review, I am sure that they would indeed have hired help in the kitchen and to wait at table during this period, another expense!
Comment from JudyE
It is interesting to hear the 'fleshing out' of Tom and Heather's time together running the farm once their father died.
I picked up only one or two points:
Heather took in Tommy's, quick movement, and saw a look of disbelief - delete comma after 'Tommy's'
High in the lonely skies, and in the depth of the seas, men of the warring nations sought each other out, with the aid of the latest technology, in order to kill and maim each other. - I might have tried to avoid the second use of 'each other' in some way.
That the clauses of Josh Joliffe's will, a man who had died in 1908, should have any implications for the present global conflict, seemed, on the face of it absurd. - comma after 'it'
'Sounds like a very sensible arrangement,' said Allen, helping himself to another biscuit.' - delete speech mark after 'biscuit'
Best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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It is interesting to hear the 'fleshing out' of Tom and Heather's time together running the farm once their father died.
I picked up only one or two points:
Heather took in Tommy's, quick movement, and saw a look of disbelief - delete comma after 'Tommy's'
High in the lonely skies, and in the depth of the seas, men of the warring nations sought each other out, with the aid of the latest technology, in order to kill and maim each other. - I might have tried to avoid the second use of 'each other' in some way.
That the clauses of Josh Joliffe's will, a man who had died in 1908, should have any implications for the present global conflict, seemed, on the face of it absurd. - comma after 'it'
'Sounds like a very sensible arrangement,' said Allen, helping himself to another biscuit.' - delete speech mark after 'biscuit'
Best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Ah! Not too many corrections needed this time. Thank you so much for reading through and pointing out the boo-boos. You work on my behalf is always appreciated.
Comment from Jay Squires
Now some important connections tend to offer themselves to explain the possibility at least of Tom's paternity. An important chapter.
That the clauses of Josh Joliffe's will, a man who had died in 1908, should have any implications [Usually your syntax reads like "buttuh" ... smooth indeed, but this one gave me pause. To me, the intermediate clause, between the one ending with "Josh Joliffe's will" and "should have any implications..." needs a more direct referent to the will, not to Josh Joliff. It could have that "link" by adding something akin to " a man who had died in 1908. I hope that makes some sort of sense.]
I enjoyed this chapter, Jim.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Now some important connections tend to offer themselves to explain the possibility at least of Tom's paternity. An important chapter.
That the clauses of Josh Joliffe's will, a man who had died in 1908, should have any implications [Usually your syntax reads like "buttuh" ... smooth indeed, but this one gave me pause. To me, the intermediate clause, between the one ending with "Josh Joliffe's will" and "should have any implications..." needs a more direct referent to the will, not to Josh Joliff. It could have that "link" by adding something akin to "
I enjoyed this chapter, Jim.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Many thanks for reading so closely and commenting in review. It is much appreciated.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
PANTYGYNT:
It could just be that Heather's brother, Tommy, may not only be the father of the German Rear Gunner, he may have a slew of kids around the countryside. Of course, in the midst of all that riotous living, who would know whether he or another of the rabble-rousers had fathered any of the children created in that house?
Jan
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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PANTYGYNT:
It could just be that Heather's brother, Tommy, may not only be the father of the German Rear Gunner, he may have a slew of kids around the countryside. Of course, in the midst of all that riotous living, who would know whether he or another of the rabble-rousers had fathered any of the children created in that house?
Jan
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Oh yes, the wild oats could have been shown right across the county. Many thanks for this perspicaceous review.
Comment from nomi338
Sounds like Tom Joliffe had good enough ideas, just poor execution. A weakness for female company made him blind to the need to be adequately compensated with more than just hugs and kisses. I am sure you know what I mean.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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Sounds like Tom Joliffe had good enough ideas, just poor execution. A weakness for female company made him blind to the need to be adequately compensated with more than just hugs and kisses. I am sure you know what I mean.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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That is a very neat summing up of the situation. Many thanks for this complimentary review.
Comment from roof35
Well, you've got me guessing about the hostess. Perhaps it was the German lady? As always, this is a well written chapter for your book. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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Well, you've got me guessing about the hostess. Perhaps it was the German lady? As always, this is a well written chapter for your book. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2021
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Many thanks for this six star review and the compliments within.