Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Genius in Love (Scene 4)"In Search of a Soul
29 total reviews
Comment from roof35
This is simply brilliant, professional, and outstanding. I find no errors, I was completely into the story. I cannot wait for the next installment of this script.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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This is simply brilliant, professional, and outstanding. I find no errors, I was completely into the story. I cannot wait for the next installment of this script.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2021
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You are too kind, but I'm thrilled you enjoyed it. I'll see if I can put him in some interesting predicaments.
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi, Jay,
I read through this scene. A strong continuation, and with how much build up was leading into the letter before it was read, I was worried it would have more hype than it could carry. But I was very satisfied with finally learning what had moved the easily moveable Harrows and, of course, any mother who aches for maybe a child who is lonely, struggling, or having more hurdles than they are due.
My thoughts along the way:
His desktop has a look of controlled clutter.
(still like the setting description of controlled clutter, has a pleasing sound and sense of having knowledge of what's going on, but there being a lot going on, faster than pristine filing)
Looks like you hurt your face, Son.
Ohh. Ohh. I am ... in trouble now.
(Nice that he can pick up on Hallows' anger. Though because he didn't hurt his face, I'd imagine Cornelius would want to correct his mistake. : D
But I only say that because I usually would get into tireless teasings over semantics with my cousin. I'd say: I like your blue shirt (because it's not blue, or it's almost blue) and he'd correct me to the color. It'd take about 23 or 24 times before he might grin, maybe... maybe realize I was pulling his leg. Give me a loud, That's it! and repeat a phrase he'd heard implying the mood he had reached. But he'd still correct me on my error every time, if I so insisted to remain incorrect. : )
being called in here.
(I like this, I like the repetition and the sense of anxiety based off of recognizing the office is trouble)
(Resumes rocking, now more frantically. CILILLA QUEEZ
(Really like the handle for punctuation and slight movements. Helps me hear and see the stage happening. Seems Cililla is giving Cornelius a distraction to help him with the strain of being uncomfortable with the situation.
Of course. Mr. Hiney would. Tell me though(,) son,
(Typo, I think for consistency... Son)?
Because ... be-cause I don't have ... an ounce of pride.
You took his words as gospel--my poor, lovely boy!
(Strong words and reaction and sense of being upset by her husband's words finding a home in her son's head. )
wear my heart on my sleeve.
(His empathy puts him in a predicament to reflect other's emotions. )
His ... his sleeve?
(Taking words and images literally. Cornelius might have a difficult time with figurative images.)
Even when they love you.
(I like the pan and pause effect to allow the two to speak. A shared soliloquy,... which is a word I only recently became somewhat familiar with.)
CORNELIUS:
Howlword is bad. Howlword makes Mother cry.
(Howard, his dad. I noted, recalled from previous scenes. But Cornelius doesn't really acknowledge him in that way here. Which has a satisfying effect. The father rejects the son, and the son... doesn't even register the man as anything other than an entity that makes his mother sad.)
But crying is not always bad.
( I like this sentiment. I think I spent some time crying over a cartoon I'd watched just yesterday, and the scene... moving... though ridiculous. Onward... pixar movie. My spring a leaky eyeball kryptonite.)
Now, should I do the honors, or would you rather?
(So by here, I am speculating that a principal who is often in a need of a tissue might not be the man the big wigs want for the tough job of beating children into the square pegs of society they expect. But we are moving onto the letter, so the true reason the principal is on his way out will be learned later, I think... hope, as I feel like I've been promised somewhere along the way to get an answer for that.)
What you wrote was ... very lovely, really.
(Strong curiosity, though with all the curiosity, it has to be pretty enticing for the build up.)
socket before she continues.)
"--with my Mother and with Howlword. Pidely-Poo tells
(Nice job forshadowing the Howlword first, by pointing out that he is the one who makes his mother cry.)
to ... write it.
(I have imaginary friends like this sometimes. Though they are separated from me by a veil or reality, and it's harder to touch them. It seems Cornelius has a more direct line.)
the Queen, and his Brother, Cornelius."
(Maybe this stems from bits of truth and memory, and maybe it is like one of grimm's fairytails. It has the whimsy of a fairytail suited for young ears. And it has pains and wantings that adults looking at children struggling with just tweeks place)
daydream. And it is true. Cornelius B. Plumb."
(Nice, with the ending illuminating how wishful it is for a child such as Cornelius to escape to a better place. And he had a guide to light the way to that place.
Piddly poo in name reminds me of... Bing Bong (not sure if you saw Inside Out, but leave it to pixar to get me to cry over an imaginary friend, too. Thinking of Cornelius hoping for Piddly Poo's return has that kind of tug at the heart-string flavor for me.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Hi, Jay,
I read through this scene. A strong continuation, and with how much build up was leading into the letter before it was read, I was worried it would have more hype than it could carry. But I was very satisfied with finally learning what had moved the easily moveable Harrows and, of course, any mother who aches for maybe a child who is lonely, struggling, or having more hurdles than they are due.
My thoughts along the way:
His desktop has a look of controlled clutter.
(still like the setting description of controlled clutter, has a pleasing sound and sense of having knowledge of what's going on, but there being a lot going on, faster than pristine filing)
Looks like you hurt your face, Son.
Ohh. Ohh. I am ... in trouble now.
(Nice that he can pick up on Hallows' anger. Though because he didn't hurt his face, I'd imagine Cornelius would want to correct his mistake. : D
But I only say that because I usually would get into tireless teasings over semantics with my cousin. I'd say: I like your blue shirt (because it's not blue, or it's almost blue) and he'd correct me to the color. It'd take about 23 or 24 times before he might grin, maybe... maybe realize I was pulling his leg. Give me a loud, That's it! and repeat a phrase he'd heard implying the mood he had reached. But he'd still correct me on my error every time, if I so insisted to remain incorrect. : )
being called in here.
(I like this, I like the repetition and the sense of anxiety based off of recognizing the office is trouble)
(Resumes rocking, now more frantically. CILILLA QUEEZ
(Really like the handle for punctuation and slight movements. Helps me hear and see the stage happening. Seems Cililla is giving Cornelius a distraction to help him with the strain of being uncomfortable with the situation.
Of course. Mr. Hiney would. Tell me though(,) son,
(Typo, I think for consistency... Son)?
Because ... be-cause I don't have ... an ounce of pride.
You took his words as gospel--my poor, lovely boy!
(Strong words and reaction and sense of being upset by her husband's words finding a home in her son's head. )
wear my heart on my sleeve.
(His empathy puts him in a predicament to reflect other's emotions. )
His ... his sleeve?
(Taking words and images literally. Cornelius might have a difficult time with figurative images.)
Even when they love you.
(I like the pan and pause effect to allow the two to speak. A shared soliloquy,... which is a word I only recently became somewhat familiar with.)
CORNELIUS:
Howlword is bad. Howlword makes Mother cry.
(Howard, his dad. I noted, recalled from previous scenes. But Cornelius doesn't really acknowledge him in that way here. Which has a satisfying effect. The father rejects the son, and the son... doesn't even register the man as anything other than an entity that makes his mother sad.)
But crying is not always bad.
( I like this sentiment. I think I spent some time crying over a cartoon I'd watched just yesterday, and the scene... moving... though ridiculous. Onward... pixar movie. My spring a leaky eyeball kryptonite.)
Now, should I do the honors, or would you rather?
(So by here, I am speculating that a principal who is often in a need of a tissue might not be the man the big wigs want for the tough job of beating children into the square pegs of society they expect. But we are moving onto the letter, so the true reason the principal is on his way out will be learned later, I think... hope, as I feel like I've been promised somewhere along the way to get an answer for that.)
What you wrote was ... very lovely, really.
(Strong curiosity, though with all the curiosity, it has to be pretty enticing for the build up.)
socket before she continues.)
"--with my Mother and with Howlword. Pidely-Poo tells
(Nice job forshadowing the Howlword first, by pointing out that he is the one who makes his mother cry.)
to ... write it.
(I have imaginary friends like this sometimes. Though they are separated from me by a veil or reality, and it's harder to touch them. It seems Cornelius has a more direct line.)
the Queen, and his Brother, Cornelius."
(Maybe this stems from bits of truth and memory, and maybe it is like one of grimm's fairytails. It has the whimsy of a fairytail suited for young ears. And it has pains and wantings that adults looking at children struggling with just tweeks place)
daydream. And it is true. Cornelius B. Plumb."
(Nice, with the ending illuminating how wishful it is for a child such as Cornelius to escape to a better place. And he had a guide to light the way to that place.
Piddly poo in name reminds me of... Bing Bong (not sure if you saw Inside Out, but leave it to pixar to get me to cry over an imaginary friend, too. Thinking of Cornelius hoping for Piddly Poo's return has that kind of tug at the heart-string flavor for me.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Ohhhh, I needed your review, Turtle. I was feeling kind of down by the lack of reader response. I spent a ton of funny money on promoting it to the top, only to get 15 reviews after 24 hours. (With other posts I would have had 25 by then). Anyway, yours validated my feelings and I appreciated that so much. Thank you so very, very much.
Comment from kmoss
Poor Cornelius and also what a wonderful child you've created with this character. Every scene has been enjoyable to read. I like this one the best so far. You are doing great on the scripts! And look at me, I still have a six! :)
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Poor Cornelius and also what a wonderful child you've created with this character. Every scene has been enjoyable to read. I like this one the best so far. You are doing great on the scripts! And look at me, I still have a six! :)
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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You are a dear! I squandered my sixes by Sunday night. I'm so happy you enjoyed this act. It was my favorite as well, but is not being as well received as the others. Thank you so much Krystal!
Comment from royowen
Another well written and fantastic episode Jay. It's amazing how you've created this, with the gathering of wonderfully contrived and imaginative characters, all sympathetic to this creative script. Both my wife and my granddaughter had imaginary friends, my wife's friend was Tilly Fitzgibbons, and my granddaughter's friend was named Phyllis, with a father called Jamie daddy. She'd never heard the name Phyllis before. Fantastic all round script Jay, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Another well written and fantastic episode Jay. It's amazing how you've created this, with the gathering of wonderfully contrived and imaginative characters, all sympathetic to this creative script. Both my wife and my granddaughter had imaginary friends, my wife's friend was Tilly Fitzgibbons, and my granddaughter's friend was named Phyllis, with a father called Jamie daddy. She'd never heard the name Phyllis before. Fantastic all round script Jay, blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much, Roy. I wish everyone enjoyed this scene as much as you. But I respect your opinion so much that it makes all the difference. Bless you, Roy!
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Well done
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Welcome Jay
Comment from Mastery
Good job on this again, Jay. It does make one wonder about those children who are multi-talented and go through life with hardships and without recognition though.
Then images in here are stellar, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Good job on this again, Jay. It does make one wonder about those children who are multi-talented and go through life with hardships and without recognition though.
Then images in here are stellar, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 26-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Bob. Your sixer is appreciated. I'll never figure out my audience. Yours is the 15th review in two days. Normally by now, I would have 25, as highly as I promoted it. Go figure.
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LOL Check your Pms for my cure. Bob
Comment from juliaSjames
Hello Jay
Although I don't get everything, like the headmaster being an empath which seems to be a distraction, I found this scene compelling..The strangeness of Cornelius and the protective nature of his mother and his invisible helper emerge strongly..
Not sure if this screen play is meant to be over the top or not. I suppose time will tell.. It's certainly true that people who are different appear to exist in their own special space, the island of Ahm must be part of a giant archipelago..
Stay safe healthy and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Hello Jay
Although I don't get everything, like the headmaster being an empath which seems to be a distraction, I found this scene compelling..The strangeness of Cornelius and the protective nature of his mother and his invisible helper emerge strongly..
Not sure if this screen play is meant to be over the top or not. I suppose time will tell.. It's certainly true that people who are different appear to exist in their own special space, the island of Ahm must be part of a giant archipelago..
Stay safe healthy and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much, Julia. That the Principal is an empath and soon to be discharged as principal will play into the plot later. I was hoping he wouldn't come across as a distraction, only a bit of a lovable misfit.
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Okay. That's why I wondered how much over the top you were going. For me it's a distraction to have a tearful principal in addition to an emotional mother. Doesn't leave much room for me as a reader to react adequately to Cornelius.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I like the way you are further developing the characters in this, Jay, and showing us, with the dialogue and his story, what Cornelius has been going through. We're also learning about Cililla's understanding of what she needs to do to help him. Great work.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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I like the way you are further developing the characters in this, Jay, and showing us, with the dialogue and his story, what Cornelius has been going through. We're also learning about Cililla's understanding of what she needs to do to help him. Great work.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Many thanks, Judy. I'm glad you are enjoying it!
Comment from robyn corum
Jay,
Well, it's finally happened. You jumped right off the whiskey wagon and started smoking crack. I was afraid this might happen eventually... and here we are.
But then, I know that good drugs worked for some of the greatest authors so I'm just gonna give this time to go ahead and spin out. Be careful, dude. Take care. Not too much at a time. Hugs--
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Jay,
Well, it's finally happened. You jumped right off the whiskey wagon and started smoking crack. I was afraid this might happen eventually... and here we are.
But then, I know that good drugs worked for some of the greatest authors so I'm just gonna give this time to go ahead and spin out. Be careful, dude. Take care. Not too much at a time. Hugs--
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Hahaha! Crack, huh! Thanks for the warning, Robyn. There's always that danger. And I do loves to talk!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have had numerous principals and have dealt with numerous principals having 4 active boys. We were military and moved a whole bunch, sometimes every year. I have never met a principal who was this empathetic, or even close. I am afraid he's a little over the top. I know you mentioned he's going to be released, but still. You have done an excellent job with Cornelius. I have worked with many autistic children.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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I have had numerous principals and have dealt with numerous principals having 4 active boys. We were military and moved a whole bunch, sometimes every year. I have never met a principal who was this empathetic, or even close. I am afraid he's a little over the top. I know you mentioned he's going to be released, but still. You have done an excellent job with Cornelius. I have worked with many autistic children.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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I truly do appreciate your insider look at this. It's helpful to keep me on my toes. I have no doubt he is over the top. And that is the reason the school is releasing him. I'm sure there will be a lot more you'll be bumping heads with later on when I deal with Mr. Hiney, Cornelius's teacher. But I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Meanwhile thanks for reading and for feeling I did okay with Cornelius and the rest of it. I appreciate having you aboard and trying to keep me honest.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Your story is very inspired, my friend. You've taken a trip into the world of an autistic child, one who has, also, experienced abuse from his father. You brought out two imaginary friends who have helped this young man survive in his world. I don't know what experience has helped you find a pathway into a world few are familiar with, but I'm glad you have. It is an interesting story, in your usual way, but the gift of this script to families who need to know someone understands, is priceless.
You have also brought about an awareness the general population needs to know.
Thank you for sharing,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Your story is very inspired, my friend. You've taken a trip into the world of an autistic child, one who has, also, experienced abuse from his father. You brought out two imaginary friends who have helped this young man survive in his world. I don't know what experience has helped you find a pathway into a world few are familiar with, but I'm glad you have. It is an interesting story, in your usual way, but the gift of this script to families who need to know someone understands, is priceless.
You have also brought about an awareness the general population needs to know.
Thank you for sharing,
Rhonda
Comment Written 25-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2021
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Wow! I was afraid this Sunday was going to be glum. But you have singlehandedly turned it around, Rhonda. My hope was that it was not all fluff. I shall continue to try to keep it that way. Oh, my, your six is lovely!
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Awww, Jay, I?m so glad I was able to encourage you. Both as a teacher, and the parent of an autistic child, there are so very few who truly understand!.
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This script has all the more value to me knowing that your family experienced much of the same relationship conditions as Cornelius and his mother.