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Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Swimming with Seaturtles"A series of like minded poems
34 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
Hi, Jesse. I really enjoyed reading this piece and, like most writers, I can relate to your wanting to try something different, but being unsure of your abilities. I've never tried writing poetry for that reason.
I haven't read any of your poetry, but from what I'm feeling in this piece, you are very good at it. It has slipped into this, making it feel more like free verse than prose, but still very well done.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Hi, Jesse. I really enjoyed reading this piece and, like most writers, I can relate to your wanting to try something different, but being unsure of your abilities. I've never tried writing poetry for that reason.
I haven't read any of your poetry, but from what I'm feeling in this piece, you are very good at it. It has slipped into this, making it feel more like free verse than prose, but still very well done.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Hello Judy. Yes, the debate is on, as to whether my post, is more of a free verse poem or, prose. I appreciate your kind comments, and how this resonates with you. Thank you for the excellent review and rating.
Have a nice rest of your week,
Jesse
Comment from kahpot
Hello Jesse, I am still trying and learning to write prose and or stories, I have been told that rhyme and prose do not go together, and to try and show your story and not so much tell it-I think this means to use hard descriptive words, this read to me is excellent as it does describe the feelings many of us have when we post something and wait anxiously for help or worse, very well written****kahpot
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Hello Jesse, I am still trying and learning to write prose and or stories, I have been told that rhyme and prose do not go together, and to try and show your story and not so much tell it-I think this means to use hard descriptive words, this read to me is excellent as it does describe the feelings many of us have when we post something and wait anxiously for help or worse, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Hello, my friend. So nice of you to stop by to review this. I think the biggest debate among the reviewers, so far, is whether this is, prose or free verse poetry. I appreciate your suggestions and concerns and will take them under advisement. Actually, I am pretty happy with the way my first attempt at prose has turned out. Thank you for your kind words and for this wonderful review and excellent rating.
Have a great rest of your week,
Jesse
Comment from tfawcus
There are elements of this that read with all the urgency of a 'rap' poem, Jesse. There is a sense that I think we all feel at times, of wanting to share and communicate who we are, yet often finding the words that actually appear on the page are inadequate. I imagine this is true of even the greatest writers.
I was drawn by your sentence: "Draped over reality, I escape civility not knowing who's a utility to lean on." I guess that, when it comes down to it, it's a matter of trust.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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There are elements of this that read with all the urgency of a 'rap' poem, Jesse. There is a sense that I think we all feel at times, of wanting to share and communicate who we are, yet often finding the words that actually appear on the page are inadequate. I imagine this is true of even the greatest writers.
I was drawn by your sentence: "Draped over reality, I escape civility not knowing who's a utility to lean on." I guess that, when it comes down to it, it's a matter of trust.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Hello, Tony. It's nice to hear from you. It's been a long time, maybe too long, since we communicated. I think you are right, about the urgency. This is something I was driven to write. On my first attempt at prose, it feels so good to touch base, with folks like you, and read your comments about my post.
Reassessing, our writing skills, is something, I am learning, every writer does. I appreciate you choosing a particular sentence that you were drawn to. I suppose you are right with your summation. That it is a matter of trust.
Thank you so much for stopping by and for this excellent review and rating.
Have a great day!
Jesse
Comment from royowen
I think you did a great job, your rhyme was strategic and sanely but self- deprecatingly good, I enjoyed the whole thing, this is probably your forte' Jesse, I enjoyed it very much, well done, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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I think you did a great job, your rhyme was strategic and sanely but self- deprecatingly good, I enjoyed the whole thing, this is probably your forte' Jesse, I enjoyed it very much, well done, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Hello Roy. Thank you for your very kind comments in this awesome review. I appreciate you and thank you for the excellent rating.
Have a great day,
Jesse
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You too Jesse
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Swimming with Seaturtles
by Jesse James Doty
Hello, Jesse,
I enjoyed your frank prose piece about the value of poetry and ourselves. I get reviews that are unkind and we are not supposed to defend our poetry but how can we not? It's an extension of ourselves. I welcome kind constructive criticism...I have learned much with it.
I found my nitch in japanese poetry because it's so visual, intuitive, and unrhymed. When I joined fanstory I was told real poetry is rhymed and many thought there's no worth in free verse or haiku.
I say, write from your heart and only pay attention to the reviewers who want to help with expert advice. You'll know when it's bs and when it's good advice.
If I get some ignorant negative review, I first check his or her profile, 9 out of 10 is a new member with little work to show.
I don't see any errors. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Swimming with Seaturtles
by Jesse James Doty
Hello, Jesse,
I enjoyed your frank prose piece about the value of poetry and ourselves. I get reviews that are unkind and we are not supposed to defend our poetry but how can we not? It's an extension of ourselves. I welcome kind constructive criticism...I have learned much with it.
I found my nitch in japanese poetry because it's so visual, intuitive, and unrhymed. When I joined fanstory I was told real poetry is rhymed and many thought there's no worth in free verse or haiku.
I say, write from your heart and only pay attention to the reviewers who want to help with expert advice. You'll know when it's bs and when it's good advice.
If I get some ignorant negative review, I first check his or her profile, 9 out of 10 is a new member with little work to show.
I don't see any errors. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Gypsy, for sharing your experiences with, bad versus good reviews, and, I too, have had my share of both. I appreciate your advice, and I thank you for this excellent review and rating.
Have a wonderful day,
Jesse
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like your choice of image
for your first prose piece, Jesse.
-I think you did a good job with it.
-As someone mentioned, you include
good poetic devices while diving into
the waters with prose.
-That relates well to the theme of sea turtles.
-You are not a crummy poet, but it
makes a good hook for your story.
-I like your ending paragraphs, too,
as you tell us "once again, here I am at the start."
-You did a good job with this introduction
to prose writing, and I look forward to
what you come up with next.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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-I like your choice of image
for your first prose piece, Jesse.
-I think you did a good job with it.
-As someone mentioned, you include
good poetic devices while diving into
the waters with prose.
-That relates well to the theme of sea turtles.
-You are not a crummy poet, but it
makes a good hook for your story.
-I like your ending paragraphs, too,
as you tell us "once again, here I am at the start."
-You did a good job with this introduction
to prose writing, and I look forward to
what you come up with next.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Wow, thank you so much, Pam, for this detailed and encouraging review. Nearly everybody, so far, is on board with me writing prose, and that feels very encouraging! You single out a lot of what you like, and I appreciate that. Thank you again, and have a beautiful day!
Jesse
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Jesse. You should be encouraged, and I am glad you appreciate my feedback; I enjoy reviewing and thinking about what I read. Have a great evening!
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Thanks, Pam, for everything!
Jesse
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You are more than welcome, Jesse.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for sharing your deep feelings and reassuring all of us who reassess our writing abilities with regularity. Most all of us go through spells of doubt, but we mustn't forget that we share from the heart, hoping to touch a strand of what makes us all tick. We may not reach everyone with everything, but more times than not, our words will touch someone. And you do it well!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thanks for sharing your deep feelings and reassuring all of us who reassess our writing abilities with regularity. Most all of us go through spells of doubt, but we mustn't forget that we share from the heart, hoping to touch a strand of what makes us all tick. We may not reach everyone with everything, but more times than not, our words will touch someone. And you do it well!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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You're welcome, Ric. Sharing my deep feelings is my forte,' and I do best when I stick to expressing my inner being. I appreciate your kind words of confidence, telling me that I do this well. It means a lot to me. Thanks for this 5-star rating, and for this awesome review.
Have a great day, my friend,
Jesse
Comment from 4theloveoftrees
I think we all write simply because we love to write. Sure, we want to be great, we want to impress, but ultimately, the writing is for ourselves. While I've enjoyed challenging myself to improve my writing and try many different forms of writing, it really comes down to whether or not YOU enjoy what you write! I've been critiqued and praised and sometimes I enjoy and learn from the suggestions and other times I like my version better and in the end, for the most part, I'm the one who is going to read and reread a particular piece, therefore I'm the only one to please. Express yourself in your own unique style without worry or care for what others think while striving to improve your craft. In the end, only you truly know the details of what is being expressed so only can choose the way to say it that means the most to you. We are all perfect at expressing exactly what we want to express in our own unique way, including you! That's my humble two cents. ;) Take care.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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I think we all write simply because we love to write. Sure, we want to be great, we want to impress, but ultimately, the writing is for ourselves. While I've enjoyed challenging myself to improve my writing and try many different forms of writing, it really comes down to whether or not YOU enjoy what you write! I've been critiqued and praised and sometimes I enjoy and learn from the suggestions and other times I like my version better and in the end, for the most part, I'm the one who is going to read and reread a particular piece, therefore I'm the only one to please. Express yourself in your own unique style without worry or care for what others think while striving to improve your craft. In the end, only you truly know the details of what is being expressed so only can choose the way to say it that means the most to you. We are all perfect at expressing exactly what we want to express in our own unique way, including you! That's my humble two cents. ;) Take care.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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I love your positive and uplifting commentary on the reasons that we write. I have heard before the theory that we are all perfect in our own unique way. Thank you for that booster shot in the arm for confidence. I like your two cents worth very much.
Have a great day,
Jesse
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Great, I'm happy you enjoyed my review! It's so easy to get caught up in the "stars" etc., but there have been lines of mine corrected, some practically rewrite what I write, but I only make changes if I like the suggestions and often, I prefer my own version. Like I said, who is going to read my humble work the most? ME! :) Take care Jesse.
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Good point, my friend!
Take care, Patricia, and have a good day!
Jesse
Comment from Bill Schott
This piece, Swimming with Sea Turtles, is a bit of a mystery to me. I don't know whether you want to write prose, which this isn't, or free verse, which it almost is. Of course, this could just be a goof to lure me into a need to render assistance where none is needed.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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This piece, Swimming with Sea Turtles, is a bit of a mystery to me. I don't know whether you want to write prose, which this isn't, or free verse, which it almost is. Of course, this could just be a goof to lure me into a need to render assistance where none is needed.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Thank you, Bill, for taking the time and effort to read and review my work. Your interesting comments are a mystery to me as well. I appreciate the excellent rating.
Have a pleasant day,
Jesse
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent entry into the prose waters, Jesse. Your narrative voice is warm and sincere. You invite your reader right into your life with bold, yet hesitant steps and you aren't afraid to say so. Always the paradox's. Such is the writer's life.
You are a fine poet, and I wholeheartedly agree it's liberating to work with new mediums.
I am looking forward to reading many prose stories from your quill. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Excellent entry into the prose waters, Jesse. Your narrative voice is warm and sincere. You invite your reader right into your life with bold, yet hesitant steps and you aren't afraid to say so. Always the paradox's. Such is the writer's life.
You are a fine poet, and I wholeheartedly agree it's liberating to work with new mediums.
I am looking forward to reading many prose stories from your quill. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Hello Gloria. Thanks for this superb detailed analysis of my first attempt at prose. You give me the encouragement I need to move ahead and write more stories and essays and things I have wanted to write. Your kind words are appreciated very much. Thank you for this excellent review and rating.
Have a great day,
Jesse