More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Abandoned - 1941"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
29 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Heartrending--poignant interaction--Jack's admission to breaking down sobbing was touching and rendered with great sensitivity. Stellar dialog and meticulous details.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Heartrending--poignant interaction--Jack's admission to breaking down sobbing was touching and rendered with great sensitivity. Stellar dialog and meticulous details.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2021
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Many thanks for this succinct praise.
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Was I too succint? (I didn't scan for typos because I see several others had).
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Not at all. There are many different types of review. Both detailed editor and comment on the overall impression are of value to the writer to my mind and i for one appreciate both. Thank you for this.
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I feel exactly the same--thanks!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Falling through the cracks, the order for the new piece, the war and so on. I laughed reading this passage, and I like the friendship between father and son - Tommy went on shaking his head. 'No, Jack. Buggered be only temporary. This be proper fucked permanent I be afeared. I best cancel that order for the shaft. That be better used to make a gun barrel after all. Proper shame that be. Come on lad, we best go home, and have a glass of elderberry, eh? Bain't nothing we can do about it.' - Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Falling through the cracks, the order for the new piece, the war and so on. I laughed reading this passage, and I like the friendship between father and son - Tommy went on shaking his head. 'No, Jack. Buggered be only temporary. This be proper fucked permanent I be afeared. I best cancel that order for the shaft. That be better used to make a gun barrel after all. Proper shame that be. Come on lad, we best go home, and have a glass of elderberry, eh? Bain't nothing we can do about it.' - Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Glad to see you are still enjoying this story.
Comment from tfawcus
Sad to read of the passing of the old milll for all practical purposes. It held such memories for father and son.
North Africa doesn't bode well for poor Jack. A bloody campaign in the most inhospitable circumstances. My father-in-law was one of the Rats of Tobruk and my mother-in-law served as a nurse in one of the casualty clearing stations in the Middle East.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Sad to read of the passing of the old milll for all practical purposes. It held such memories for father and son.
North Africa doesn't bode well for poor Jack. A bloody campaign in the most inhospitable circumstances. My father-in-law was one of the Rats of Tobruk and my mother-in-law served as a nurse in one of the casualty clearing stations in the Middle East.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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I must say I preferred the desert to the jungle. I hated the heavy humidity of Singapore. But there was no proper war going on in either place when I was there. Many thanks for the six stars.
Comment from lyenochka
In North Africa? Poor Jack. I really liked the conversation and the real details you gave that brings the life of civilians during the war up close and personal. At times, Tommy waxes poetic. And Jack had such hopes for that mill and had to finally give up on it. I liked the humor of the factory having no record of the order. That also is very realistic.
Question:
there with a mallet or hommer (what's a hommer? )
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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In North Africa? Poor Jack. I really liked the conversation and the real details you gave that brings the life of civilians during the war up close and personal. At times, Tommy waxes poetic. And Jack had such hopes for that mill and had to finally give up on it. I liked the humor of the factory having no record of the order. That also is very realistic.
Question:
there with a mallet or hommer (what's a hommer? )
Comment Written 19-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Hommer is Clee Hill dialect for a hammer. Thank you so much for the lovely six star award for this post. Much appreciated.
Comment from Jay Squires
This was an awfully technical chapter, Jim. I'm afraid it went over most readers' heads. I know I have no mechanical engineering abilities at all and I realized that it was futile to follow any but the most basic flow of the plot. Yet, I feel that through my non-understanding, I realized this was necessary to explaining the play of fate on the Mill. Also, there was a feeling of authenticity that your novel demands.
At any rate, your story-telling was first-rate.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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This was an awfully technical chapter, Jim. I'm afraid it went over most readers' heads. I know I have no mechanical engineering abilities at all and I realized that it was futile to follow any but the most basic flow of the plot. Yet, I feel that through my non-understanding, I realized this was necessary to explaining the play of fate on the Mill. Also, there was a feeling of authenticity that your novel demands.
At any rate, your story-telling was first-rate.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Sorry about the technical stuff. Seen in the context of a 900 word post there seems to be a lot but set in a full printed chapter of ten or more pages I am hoping that it would be absorbed. Lots of readers love the technicalities. Thanks for wading through it anyway, Jay.
Comment from JudyE
The destruction of the weir would have been a terrible blow to the two men. the description of why it all came about is well handled. An irony indeed to learn that the iron was no longer needed.
For your consideration:
He and his father stood together regarding the weir on New Year's Eve, the last day of 1940. - I might have put the period after 'Eve'
'These hard frosts we be getting every night bain't no good for this here dam, Jack,' he said shaking his head. - comma after 'said'
'I wouldn't have thought it felt the cold badly, Dad' - period needed after 'Dad'
That be built more like a dry stone wall, see. - dry stone - one word?
Except it 'd be wet. - there is an extra space in 'it'd'
Tommy continued, 'The shallower the angle of descent, the smoother the water runs away at the new, lower level without curling back excessively in a vicious stop-wave. A wave like that has tremendous erosive power, and that could undermine the base of the weir itself, ultimately causing the whole structure to collapse.' - This doesn't sound like Tommy - too correct
'Why is it worrying you now, Dad? If it's been here that long it's unlikely to fall down now, surely? - speech mark needed at end
'I wish that were, Jack. I really do, but that bain't, see?- The whole thing be full of water. - delete dash after 'see'
Instead he turned his attention eastward and made another big error - comma after 'Instead'
These days though, there were no watchers on the bank, 'With the mill out of action,' as Tommy explained to his son later in the autumn of 1941, 'I had no call to come down here no more. The two stood regarding the damage. - speech mark needed after 'more'
Meanwhile Tommy treated his son to his own ideas of a scenario for the latest disaster to have afflicted the mill. - comma after 'Meanwhile'
That log, could have come from anywhere, washed from the bank when her was once a tree, somewhere high in the headwaters of the Rea many year ago. - delete comma after 'log'
Jack could see that, while the actual damage, had it been visible, then might have appeared slight, it was in fact terminal. - while it's not important, I might have rearranged this, perhaps to: 'While the actual damage, had it been visible, might have appeared slight, it was in fact terminal. Jack could see that.' It's just a bit clearer.
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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The destruction of the weir would have been a terrible blow to the two men. the description of why it all came about is well handled. An irony indeed to learn that the iron was no longer needed.
For your consideration:
He and his father stood together regarding the weir on New Year's Eve, the last day of 1940. - I might have put the period after 'Eve'
'These hard frosts we be getting every night bain't no good for this here dam, Jack,' he said shaking his head. - comma after 'said'
'I wouldn't have thought it felt the cold badly, Dad' - period needed after 'Dad'
That be built more like a dry stone wall, see. - dry stone - one word?
Except it 'd be wet. - there is an extra space in 'it'd'
Tommy continued, 'The shallower the angle of descent, the smoother the water runs away at the new, lower level without curling back excessively in a vicious stop-wave. A wave like that has tremendous erosive power, and that could undermine the base of the weir itself, ultimately causing the whole structure to collapse.' - This doesn't sound like Tommy - too correct
'Why is it worrying you now, Dad? If it's been here that long it's unlikely to fall down now, surely? - speech mark needed at end
'I wish that were, Jack. I really do, but that bain't, see?- The whole thing be full of water. - delete dash after 'see'
Instead he turned his attention eastward and made another big error - comma after 'Instead'
These days though, there were no watchers on the bank, 'With the mill out of action,' as Tommy explained to his son later in the autumn of 1941, 'I had no call to come down here no more. The two stood regarding the damage. - speech mark needed after 'more'
Meanwhile Tommy treated his son to his own ideas of a scenario for the latest disaster to have afflicted the mill. - comma after 'Meanwhile'
That log, could have come from anywhere, washed from the bank when her was once a tree, somewhere high in the headwaters of the Rea many year ago. - delete comma after 'log'
Jack could see that, while the actual damage, had it been visible, then might have appeared slight, it was in fact terminal. - while it's not important, I might have rearranged this, perhaps to: 'While the actual damage, had it been visible, might have appeared slight, it was in fact terminal. Jack could see that.' It's just a bit clearer.
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Many thanks for the usual, meticulous work. I have rewritten the bit you felt didn't sound like Tommy. I agree it didn't! I wonder how it appears to you now.
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It's so much better I had trouble finding the passage!! lol
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Thanks for that. Sorry to give you the extra work.
Comment from Leann DS
This is excellently written, and I am guessing took a lot of research. Great dialogue that is fun because of the diction.
This is only my opinion, but I could have done without so much information about the mechanics and details of the machinery and whatever that thing is. But that's probably just me. Way too technical for my liking, and that particular section dragged on a bit. I just don't have a mechanical brain and it was really confusing for me.
However, when I take all that difficult stuff out, it was great. I hope this is somehow helpful. Hugs to you.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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This is excellently written, and I am guessing took a lot of research. Great dialogue that is fun because of the diction.
This is only my opinion, but I could have done without so much information about the mechanics and details of the machinery and whatever that thing is. But that's probably just me. Way too technical for my liking, and that particular section dragged on a bit. I just don't have a mechanical brain and it was really confusing for me.
However, when I take all that difficult stuff out, it was great. I hope this is somehow helpful. Hugs to you.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. Most of the 'research' was done in the 1980s when I restored and ran an old traditional mill - the one on which this story is based in fact.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Time has moved forward and the mill is well and truly redundant, although the mill house itself has probably more value that Tommy realises. The war still has a long way to go yet, and I have often wondered what everyone thought back then, as we thought this pandemic would soon be over and now we are realising it will probably take another year to settle down, they must have thought the war would end soon, and everybody's life was turned upside down. A snippet of history in the life of this family, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Time has moved forward and the mill is well and truly redundant, although the mill house itself has probably more value that Tommy realises. The war still has a long way to go yet, and I have often wondered what everyone thought back then, as we thought this pandemic would soon be over and now we are realising it will probably take another year to settle down, they must have thought the war would end soon, and everybody's life was turned upside down. A snippet of history in the life of this family, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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I think the parallel you draw between the uncertainties of wartime and those current in the pandemic is very well drawn. I remember the most realistic military exercise i ever took part in was one where we had no idea when it was going to be over.
Thank you so much for the six star review.
Comment from BethShelby
That sounds like the end of the milling business, but you bought the mill and got it running again. Did all of that really happen to the Weir or is that part of the story? Besides, mill can be run with out water power can't they? Wouldn't a large enough enbine run the mill?
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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That sounds like the end of the milling business, but you bought the mill and got it running again. Did all of that really happen to the Weir or is that part of the story? Besides, mill can be run with out water power can't they? Wouldn't a large enough enbine run the mill?
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Many thanks for your review and the question. The answer is 'both'! When I took the mill on, the weir spanned the river at about three feet in height. I have seen a postcard photo , undated, of it when it was about ten feet high. It would have had to be as high as that to have raised the water level to where it came onto the wheel.
How it collapsed however, is my conjecture. It must have then been reduced in height on purpose to make it safer than in its broken state. But unless it was broken I doubt if it would have been dismantled.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jim, this is another excellent chapter. You really do paint the picture so very well, and it makes me wonder if you know a great deal about running a mill. Or maybe you've done a lot of research. Anyway, it seems way beyond repair by now. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Hi Jim, this is another excellent chapter. You really do paint the picture so very well, and it makes me wonder if you know a great deal about running a mill. Or maybe you've done a lot of research. Anyway, it seems way beyond repair by now. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2021
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Since I restored the one on which this story is based and ran it as a business for a few years subsequently, I suppose I have accumulated a fare degree of knowledge about mills and milling.
Many thanks for your kind review.
