Comment from Robert Zimmerman

Excellent

Hi Sandra.

There is no longer one story, there are now two stories. Monica is building a story around her eyes for Jeff and the fact that now another party is going to try to enter the fray.

It seems that Jeff is competent guard and according to Monica is good enough things too. As we have the parallel stories and a second bad guy the pretzel gets a little twistier.(I know that's not a word but when I have trouble finding a word, I just make one up.) Made up words are very descriptive.

Robert

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021

I love your made-up word! LOL! I've got to keep both girls happy, now haven't I? Thank you so much, Robert, for another lovely review. I have always appreciated your support. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 01-Apr-2021

You're welcome

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Sandra,

Oh, yeah! I knew those guys would be getting together. Perfect. So that when this is all over, these two couples will get to hang out and be slap-happy running buddies. I like it!

Sounds like you have everything well in hand - I'm a little concerned about this new bad guy on the scene... but as long as our guys know who he is and already have a heads up??? Oh, yeah. We got this. *smile*

Thanks a bunch!

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021

That's what I thought! LOL. I'm glad you liked this part. Grant and Jeff know all about this other nasty, and will be keeping tabs on him. Thanks, dear friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

Naughty, you let me dream about a romance with Tania and you dropped me straight into Monica's soup:) aka roamnce. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021

Lol. Sorry, Iza, but we're not finished yet! Thank you for reading this part, and your fun comments. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xx

Comment from L. Kalere

Exceptional

Hi Sandra ... yet another stellar piece of writing. It's just a joy to see the ease at which you move a story along. There are a couple of things in particular that tickled me: "...like a bee craving nectar from the mouth of a flower he greedily plundered hers." Great imagery.
I really enjoy your character list with great information such as..."Artificial tan" and IED. Congratulations on a standing well earned.
Linda

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021

Hi Linda, thank you so very much for this amazing review, and for the sixth star award. What a lovely review to wake up to this morning, you've started my day on a high!! I'm delighted you are enjoying my story. Have a lovely day, my friend, warm hugs. Sandra xxx

Comment from Bluesatinbutterfly

Excellent

A very interesting read, well rounded believable characters throughout. I am interested in where this tale will go from here. One small point, I may be wrong, but did you perhaps mean that Grant's hair was "bleach" blond? I am sure"beach-blond" is a perfectly good description, I just wanted to check with you. Thank you.

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021

Hi, thank you so much for reading this part, and for the nice review. No, it is 'beach-blond' which is like a sand colour but fairer. I was looking for different examples of hair colour and this came up in the list. It sort of took my fancy! Lol. Thanks again! :)) Sandra xx

reply by Bluesatinbutterfly on 30-Mar-2021

My bad, I had heard of beach boy and got confused, duh! :)

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Jeff sure has gotten bossy with Monica, but it doesn't appear she minds too much. I guess there is nothing better than a bodyguard with benefits. Thanks for sharing. :-)

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021

You are the second man to say that. Perhaps I'll make a few changes. The women think he's romantic, and men think he's bossy! Lol. I can't have it look like Monica is a meek lady, she's quite spirited really. Thank you, Ric, for your informative review, I'll be working on it now. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Hello Sandra,
Another splendid chapter that both calms and tenses
the reader, half romance, half danger.
I must be suffering from jet lag myself,
I don't recall Jeff having a gun to Monica's head,
good way to start a romance. :))
There sure are a lot of bossy men in this story,
telling Monica and Tonia what they can and cannot do.
I think you need Wonder Woman, or Cat Woman,
or Miss Marple to appear and restore the male/female balance. LOL
Wonderful character development.
Best wishes.
Robert

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021

Actually, you're right! The men are bossy-boots, aren't they? I'll have to address that somehow. Hmm.

The scene with Jeff pointing the gun at the back of Monica's head in on chapter 15. But I am going to change that part to being something that might feel like a gun since it's illegal in England to own a weapon, let alone walk around with one.

Thank you so much, Robert, you've helped me out again on two points without realising it! Lol. And a big thank you for the lovely six stars! Have a wonderful day, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx

Comment from alexisleech

Exceptional

Wow! this story just gets better and better. Although I was slightly peeved to be pulled away from Grant's Caribbean paradise, the journey was well worth it. Seeing the sexual tension building between Monica and Jeff was skilfully crafted, and the underlying tension being introduced that there might be another 'baddy' out there trying to get to Tania via Monica, was the icing on the cake.
Another great chapter, my friend, and one that has me anxiously waiting for the next!
Alexis xxx

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021

Now my head has swollen twice its size! Lol. Thank you so very much for this amazing review, Alexis, I'm over the moon you thought the scene between Monica and Jeff was written well. And, yes, another 'baddy' has crawled out of the woodwork. Thank you, my lovely friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from tfawcus

Exceptional

Sensitive scene, beautifully described, between Monica and Jeff. It looks as though you've given him the perfect licence to move in with her so he can protect her more effectively!
I liked the way you remembered Tania's arm when it came to breakfast time and sunscreen application!
I'm wondering whether you really need to colour code the characters. Does their ethnic origin need to be specified because of the requirements of the story?

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021

Hi Tony, thank you so much for another lovely review and for that shiny sixth star! I'm delighted you liked the way I handled Monica and Jeff. He moved into Monica's home in Chapter 25, but into the spare bedroom. No naughties yet!! Lol.
Your comments about me 'colour coding the characters' is a valid point. Now I think of it, I've brought it up in certain relevant points throughout the book. So, I'll knock that detail, in the character listing, on the head. It does make it easier and less obvious. Thank you for that! Have a lovely day, my friend. :)) Warm hugs. Sandra xx

Comment from JudyE

Excellent

Another well-written chapter with the action moving along nicely and the plot thickening slightly. :)

A few points for consideration:
For the first time in three days, Tania came down for breakfast feeling more like a human being. She was surprised at how hungry she felt and was ready for a good breakfast. - maybe the second 'breakfast' could be 'meal' rather than a repeat of 'breakfast'. Or maybe 'Tania came down in the morning...'

'What would you like to do today?' he asked as he returned to his own chair and picked his coffee up again. - comma needed after 'asked'

'I can't concentrate at work,' she said as Jeff came and sat beside her. 'I've been pulled up for errors I've made in clients accounts, and if this keeps up, I can see my boss dismissing me.' - comma after 'said'. And apostrophe needed in ... 'clients' accounts'

Why don't you start your own business? You're a qualified accountant, a good one, too, from what Tania has told me. I'm confident you can do this. - replace comma after 'accountant' with a semi-colon. I might have said 'I'm confident you could do this.'

Starting out your own will be a challenge that I'm sure you'll enjoy.' - should be 'Starting out on your own...'

Monica's face tilted up and when she looked into his eyes she was sure she could see the ... desire? - commas needed after 'and' and 'eyes'

'What's tickled you?' Jeff asked as he poured out two whiskeys. - comma after 'asked'

But it was when you told us how you were going to beat the hell out of Colin and more or less dared us to try and stop you.' He laughed and dropped a kiss on her nose. - comma after 'Colin'

Just before you finished work I had a call from one of my men and I don't like what he told me.' - commas after 'work' and 'men'

Best wishes
Judy

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021

Hi, Judy. Thank you again for another helpful review, and lovely comments. I've made some changes, as well as the corrections after reading your thoughts on some of the paragraphs. It's really helpful reading your comments because it makes me look deeper into improving that particular sentence. The errors are all corrected, lol, not a lot I could do with those. :)) Thank you again, my friend!! Warm hugs, Sandra xxx