Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

This is an adorable children's story and poem that would make a great children's picture book. The rhyming is smooth and easy to read and the story has a good ending with "The Flight of the Bumble Bee." Well done. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks so very much.....I wanted it simple....yet not too silly.....Godspeed and Thanks again...

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

That's cheating!! Lol. What a lovely tale, of the race was the toast of the County Fair. The piglets had it all sussed out, striking a deal with the queen bee. What a wonderful poem. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021

Thanks so much....these are fun to stitch together....mostly scribbled on legal pads until it somehow makes sense.....then roll my eyes...wiggle my fingers and hit submit!...Godspeed and Best to you going forward...

Comment from amada

Excellent

This is an adorable tale, even if I am not a child, anymore...for sure I like the rhyming and envigorating short lines. My two favorite lines: "For alongside the Jilly farmland
Was a jostle of honeybee hives,"

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021

Thanks so very much......I splash these around to the neighbor kids to just make stuff up....lots of fun...less ponderous.....Godspeed and Best Wishes....

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This is an excellent children's poem my friend, the flow is great, the lyrical sense of the poem is great, but the rhythm is ideal for children, they cotton on to movement. I've written a number of kid's songs, and an album, and have led them in song, well done, an excellent post, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021

Thanks so very much.....Congrats on writing children works....I am fairly new to this website. I have found many of the entries to be beautifully done...they are polished and literate ...very deliberate...But we could all use a little Knick Knack Paddy Whack now and then.....Godspeed and Best Wishes.....

reply by royowen on 19-Mar-2021

Good job

Comment from Anne Johnston

Excellent

What a delightful poem you have written for the Children's Poem contest.
Great rhyming and great word pictures. We can all see those little piggies being chased by the hornets and honing their skill for the fair.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021

Thanks so very much....these are fun little ditties and I enjoy putting them together........Godspeed and Best Wishes.....

reply by Anne Johnston on 19-Mar-2021

You are welcome. Hope you do well in the contest.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

Cute with picture words enough for a short reading book or a magazine story. A few of the words might be a little difficult for the children to read, but it has a nice rhythm.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021

Thanks so very much....you are right ...some of this is a little sticky......Good Luck to going forward.....Godspeed...

Comment from Janice Canerdy

Excellent

Your narrative poem is excellent in every respect--skillfully put-together,
charming and appealing in the flow of the plot, a legend told for the grasp of a child but for the enjoyment of all.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021

Thanks very much.....these little verses are fun to glue together....I have neighborhood kids nearby and we always just make up stuff....Best Wishes and Godspeed...

Comment from RetroStarfish

Excellent

Very cute poem. It is perfect for children - plot and language. I can just imagine reading it out loud. It made me smile. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021

Thanks so very much......I grew up with these little verses and they are still a joy to me.......Best Wishes and Godspeed.....

Comment from Erika Seshadri

Excellent

This is awesome. I could picture it all in my mind like a story. Love the last line. I have four pet pigs. They can really run if they choose to, but mostly they just laze around.

Good luck in the contest.

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 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021

Thank you so much......I had pigs in my little boy past.....Old Uncle said they were smarter than me....I think he was right......Godspeed and Best wishes......

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

What a cute contest entry, mystery Author. I believe all kids of all ages will enjoy this. You did a great job with the rhymes, the flow, and the theme. Your words are descriptive, there's great imagery, and it was fun to read. Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021

Thanks so very much....these are fun to put together......Yikes...why does everybody call me Mystery Author?.....because no picture in the profile?.....I am old and clumsy sometimes...HAHA.....Best to all and Godspeed......Stu Harrell