More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Breakdown - 1933"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
29 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Meticulous! I'd been expecting a grisly accident to befall Jack--hope last chapter's allusion to a twist of fate that befalls him in 1933 pertains to this breakdown of equipment.
'Mansfield told I (?) most of it ... I don't recall them ever reversing obj to sub. (I note they consistently reverse was/were.)
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Meticulous! I'd been expecting a grisly accident to befall Jack--hope last chapter's allusion to a twist of fate that befalls him in 1933 pertains to this breakdown of equipment.
'Mansfield told I (?) most of it ... I don't recall them ever reversing obj to sub. (I note they consistently reverse was/were.)
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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I have a feeling I did not get that mention of disaster right and will be looking to correct it be going to publication.
Many thanks for reviewing.
Comment from lyenochka
I'm wondering if you know all the technical inner workings of the mill because of your own experience restoring a mill. I was going to say it would have been good to know Jack's scientific explanation but I'm sure I wouldn't understand any of it! But I liked his solution of hanging upside to get a better view!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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I'm wondering if you know all the technical inner workings of the mill because of your own experience restoring a mill. I was going to say it would have been good to know Jack's scientific explanation but I'm sure I wouldn't understand any of it! But I liked his solution of hanging upside to get a better view!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Yes. My own experiences are put to use in these stories as far as technical aspects are concerned. The scientific reasons have to do with the fibrous nature of wood an the effect of a life of constant change from wet to dry and back. But I already in trouble in some quarters for dwelling on the technical.
Many thanks for reviewing and for the six-star grade..
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You did your usual excellent job of telling the story. Interesting way that Jack found to see the damaged shaft. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and finding out what the miller will do.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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You did your usual excellent job of telling the story. Interesting way that Jack found to see the damaged shaft. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and finding out what the miller will do.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
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Many thanks for this complimentary review. I am pleased you continue to enjoy the story.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I think you may have been saying that the Mill is Broke down. From recent chapters I understand it would not be
profitable to repair. It looks like the end for the Mill. Anyhow my mind is not as active as usual, but I wanted to remark and rate the chapter.. Well done, Jim. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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I think you may have been saying that the Mill is Broke down. From recent chapters I understand it would not be
profitable to repair. It looks like the end for the Mill. Anyhow my mind is not as active as usual, but I wanted to remark and rate the chapter.. Well done, Jim. Nancy:)
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Thank you ever so much for bothering with this when you are not feeling so good. You are absolutely right, and you remembered correctly that Tommy had mentioned that if something big broke it would not be worth repairing. So well done, and my gratitude for those six stars.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Tom Bache and his son Jack have such a wonderful relationship. The foreboding from the preceding chapter -- is it possible that it concerns the fate of the mill, and not of Jack? I hope Jack won't be injured here, but it seems that we're not to learn the outcome of all this, until perhaps the next chapter.
I have never had an especially mechanical mind, so I'll just have to trust you (as I did in your previous book) that you know all the details of a mill's operation, which I can't possibly hope to follow! You seem to have an intimate knowledge of such operational details, so much so that I would believe you actually spent time in one.
My suggestions for revisions:
So that be older'n what I am.
-->
So that be older'n what I am.'
...had become deaf to such a insignificant noise.
-->
...had become deaf to such an insignificant noise.
The effect was to cause the mill-wall side of the seven foot wide wheel,
-->
The effect was to cause the mill-wall side of the seven-foot-wide wheel,
It appeared to be undamnaged,
-->
It appeared to be undamaged,
***
Jack is such a bright young man, and it seems that he's inherited all the brains of both his parents (a trait which I wouldn't be surprised if he shared with his twin sister).
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Tom Bache and his son Jack have such a wonderful relationship. The foreboding from the preceding chapter -- is it possible that it concerns the fate of the mill, and not of Jack? I hope Jack won't be injured here, but it seems that we're not to learn the outcome of all this, until perhaps the next chapter.
I have never had an especially mechanical mind, so I'll just have to trust you (as I did in your previous book) that you know all the details of a mill's operation, which I can't possibly hope to follow! You seem to have an intimate knowledge of such operational details, so much so that I would believe you actually spent time in one.
My suggestions for revisions:
So that be older'n what I am.
-->
So that be older'n what I am.'
...had become deaf to such a insignificant noise.
-->
...had become deaf to such an insignificant noise.
The effect was to cause the mill-wall side of the seven foot wide wheel,
-->
The effect was to cause the mill-wall side of the seven-foot-wide wheel,
It appeared to be undamnaged,
-->
It appeared to be undamaged,
***
Jack is such a bright young man, and it seems that he's inherited all the brains of both his parents (a trait which I wouldn't be surprised if he shared with his twin sister).
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for this detailed, six-star review, for which i am most grateful. The breakdown is a tragedy for Jack because his ambitions were all centred on it. Upon revision of the whole book I think I might well move that statement closer to the actual breakdown. It appears to have caused some confusion amongs readers.
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You're very welcome. Thank you for explaining. Yes, that sounds like a good idea, others like me might need a little clarification on that point.
God bless you. - Mary Kay
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Clever kid:) "Got a mirror, Dad?' he asked.
'What dust want a mirror for, then? This be no time to go preening yourself like,' said his father, scratching his head in frustration.
'It's like this, Dad,' said the fifteen-year-old with exaggerated patience. 'As you said, it has to be the shaft, and the only bit of it we can't see's the underside here.' He tapped the shaft with his foot. 'It's too close to the threshold to get a view and... Hey! Wait a minute!' Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Clever kid:) "Got a mirror, Dad?' he asked.
'What dust want a mirror for, then? This be no time to go preening yourself like,' said his father, scratching his head in frustration.
'It's like this, Dad,' said the fifteen-year-old with exaggerated patience. 'As you said, it has to be the shaft, and the only bit of it we can't see's the underside here.' He tapped the shaft with his foot. 'It's too close to the threshold to get a view and... Hey! Wait a minute!' Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for this review.
Comment from tfawcus
As at the beginning, there's plenty of specialist knowledge of a mill's working parts on display here, but you use it well to reinforce with the reader what an utter disaster this particular breakdown is.
The timing couldn't have been worse with the country in depression. However, with the business in decline being brought to an abrupt standstill, it may divert Tommy's energies more singularly to the farming ventures so dear to Heather's heart. I imagine Jack may be more compelled to see the mill back in operation than his father. It will be interesting to see how these two characters develop in relation to one another.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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As at the beginning, there's plenty of specialist knowledge of a mill's working parts on display here, but you use it well to reinforce with the reader what an utter disaster this particular breakdown is.
The timing couldn't have been worse with the country in depression. However, with the business in decline being brought to an abrupt standstill, it may divert Tommy's energies more singularly to the farming ventures so dear to Heather's heart. I imagine Jack may be more compelled to see the mill back in operation than his father. It will be interesting to see how these two characters develop in relation to one another.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Many thanks for this six-star review and encouraging remarks. I may find that I need to prune some of the technical details here as I have done with the some earlier chapters of Maid of the Mill.
Comment from JudyE
So the poor old mill comes to an end. To those so closely involved with such things, it must really seem like a death in the family. The descriptions are well-handled and easily followed, even for those with no knowledge of the workings of mills.
A few thoughts:
muffled as they were by the regular beat of the damsel, had become deaf to such a insignificant noise. - typo - an insignificant noise
The effect was to cause the mill-wall side of the seven foot wide wheel, - hyphenate 'seven-foot'
All three contacts occurred simultaneously, and their effect, was immediately apparent to both Tommy and Jack. - delete comma after 'effect'
Tommy scurried round to where the gearing that operated the head gate was situated. He flung his weight on the hand wheel. - 'head gate' and 'hand wheel' are coming up underlined suggesting they should be one word (each - lol). Or maybe hyphenated? Or left as is. I'm sure you'll know. :) Same with 'tail race' a little further on.
There was so little tolerance between wheel's rim and wall - should it be '... the wheel's rim'?
Meanwhile Tommy removed the wooden box - comma after 'Meanwhile'
'Dad, you'd hardly believe it,' answered his son before going on - comma after 'son'
Best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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So the poor old mill comes to an end. To those so closely involved with such things, it must really seem like a death in the family. The descriptions are well-handled and easily followed, even for those with no knowledge of the workings of mills.
A few thoughts:
muffled as they were by the regular beat of the damsel, had become deaf to such a insignificant noise. - typo - an insignificant noise
The effect was to cause the mill-wall side of the seven foot wide wheel, - hyphenate 'seven-foot'
All three contacts occurred simultaneously, and their effect, was immediately apparent to both Tommy and Jack. - delete comma after 'effect'
Tommy scurried round to where the gearing that operated the head gate was situated. He flung his weight on the hand wheel. - 'head gate' and 'hand wheel' are coming up underlined suggesting they should be one word (each - lol). Or maybe hyphenated? Or left as is. I'm sure you'll know. :) Same with 'tail race' a little further on.
There was so little tolerance between wheel's rim and wall - should it be '... the wheel's rim'?
Meanwhile Tommy removed the wooden box - comma after 'Meanwhile'
'Dad, you'd hardly believe it,' answered his son before going on - comma after 'son'
Best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 14-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Many thanks for another detailed review. The only suggestion I would disagree with is that 'between wheel's rim and wall' requires a definite article before 'wheel's rim'. We don't need one with 'from head to toe' so I reckon we can do without it here. It would not be wrong to have it in but if we did, would we not need one before 'wall' as well?
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I take your point. I did wonder which is why I put the question mark. I thought it might be 'mill-speak'. lol
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jim, this is a great chapter and goes a long way to explain what really happened. This is a visual child and also a child with imagination. He sees what the problem is straight away. But it may be beyond repair. Great chapter and well written.
Before he come along, = Before he came along
All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Hi Jim, this is a great chapter and goes a long way to explain what really happened. This is a visual child and also a child with imagination. He sees what the problem is straight away. But it may be beyond repair. Great chapter and well written.
Before he come along, = Before he came along
All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 14-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Thank you for this encouraging, six star review review. The point you raise was an intentional colloquialism. Use of the incorrect tense is very common in everyday speech.
Comment from Jay Squires
Okay, so it appears I was wrong. Nothing seriously happens to Jack with all that walking around the gears. But it appears the mill is irreparable; or at least, if it can be repaired, it would be a bad business decision what with the cheap flour coming from Canada. I'm sure you'll have some twists and turns coming our way, though.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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Okay, so it appears I was wrong. Nothing seriously happens to Jack with all that walking around the gears. But it appears the mill is irreparable; or at least, if it can be repaired, it would be a bad business decision what with the cheap flour coming from Canada. I'm sure you'll have some twists and turns coming our way, though.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2021
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It is of course an end to Jack's dream for his future. It is a turning point for the mill. Many thanks for your continued interest.