More Grist to the Mill
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "A Trip to Ludlow 1925"Book 2 of the Cleeborough Mill Trilogy
38 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Ok, you've snagged me. I thought I could not read something with so much dialogue, but it is fascinating. You write very well and I enjoyed the auto trip (and thank God that I did not live in those days if that was a premium car.)
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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Ok, you've snagged me. I thought I could not read something with so much dialogue, but it is fascinating. You write very well and I enjoyed the auto trip (and thank God that I did not live in those days if that was a premium car.)
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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We are constantly being told to show not tell and dialogue is the easiest way of doing that. It also seems to be the fashionable way. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and getting snagged.
Comment from BethShelby
I really enjoyed reading this although at first I was disappointed that Allen would be further delaying his visit to Jericho farms. You wrote so well about the trip to Ludlow, that I really felt like I was along for the ride. It was beautiful writing. You deserve a six. I wish I had one.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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I really enjoyed reading this although at first I was disappointed that Allen would be further delaying his visit to Jericho farms. You wrote so well about the trip to Ludlow, that I really felt like I was along for the ride. It was beautiful writing. You deserve a six. I wish I had one.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this review and the virtual six. Allen is a lawyer and they never do anything in a hurry so he wants to be more certain of his reception before he visits Jericho Farm.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I enjoyed reading this chapter, Jim (I enjoy them all) I liked the little touches you put, like almost missing the gear and the gear cogs grinding together, the times I've done that! Well, Allen seems to be well pleased with what he learned. I'm interested in finding out what My Tom had to do with Hettie's death. I would have thought it would be Our Tom if foul play was suspected. But, I might be missing something. I'll have to wait to find out the link. There was also some great imagery in this part. Well done again! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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I enjoyed reading this chapter, Jim (I enjoy them all) I liked the little touches you put, like almost missing the gear and the gear cogs grinding together, the times I've done that! Well, Allen seems to be well pleased with what he learned. I'm interested in finding out what My Tom had to do with Hettie's death. I would have thought it would be Our Tom if foul play was suspected. But, I might be missing something. I'll have to wait to find out the link. There was also some great imagery in this part. Well done again! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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You are not missing anything except that these two men as yet have no idea of a romantic attachment between TW and Heather. They only have what they have been told or learn in 1925 and TW has disappeared.
Thanks for another great review.
Comment from padumachitta
Hi
First off, I have been to Ludlow more than once. I lived for five years in Shropshire, and Ludlow or Shrewsbury were towns we sometimes drove to for a wee respite from living in Bettisfeild. So it's kind of interesting to 'see' where these guys are driving to.
Ah, the story is heating up. The foreshadowing at the end of this chapter has me wondering just what will happen on Jericho Farm!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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Hi
First off, I have been to Ludlow more than once. I lived for five years in Shropshire, and Ludlow or Shrewsbury were towns we sometimes drove to for a wee respite from living in Bettisfeild. So it's kind of interesting to 'see' where these guys are driving to.
Ah, the story is heating up. The foreshadowing at the end of this chapter has me wondering just what will happen on Jericho Farm!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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If you lived in Bettisfield you were actually just (only just) over the border in Wales. These stories are centred on South Shropshire, but how pleasant it is to write for someone who knows the area. Thanks for an interesting review.
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well...the driveway of the farm literally wove in and out or Wales and England...We had an Englsih postal code, our garbage was picked up by Wales...we had Englsih Doctors in Whitchurch, but had to go to the hospital in Wrexham...
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It is that which makes life so difficult under the covid restraints that are different in Wales from what they are in England. Those folk must suffer from permanent schizophrenia.
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It is that which makes life so difficult under the covid restraints that are different in Wales from what they are in England. Those folk must suffer from permanent schizophrenia.
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Haa haa...it's a weird area that border...
I can't imagine with lockdown...my friends say that Wrexam is out, so they drive the longer way to Shrewsbury for stuff...geez.
Comment from Sugarray77
Very well written and kept my attention with the balance of descriptive writing and factual notations. I really am enjoying this story and appreciate the build up you are doing ... at a measured pace.. great read!
Melissa
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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Very well written and kept my attention with the balance of descriptive writing and factual notations. I really am enjoying this story and appreciate the build up you are doing ... at a measured pace.. great read!
Melissa
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this complimentary review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
PANTYGYNT:
I am sorry to come into your novel in chapter 5, but I plan to at
least go back and read the chapters I missed (even if I don't
review them) to get myself up to speed. I can see why Fanstory
hired you as an instructor. I can hardly wait to read your next
chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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PANTYGYNT:
I am sorry to come into your novel in chapter 5, but I plan to at
least go back and read the chapters I missed (even if I don't
review them) to get myself up to speed. I can see why Fanstory
hired you as an instructor. I can hardly wait to read your next
chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2021
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Please feel free to read the back numbers and do not feel obliged to review them . I am honoured that you should wish to go there.
Thank you so much for this review.
My instructional work is confined to poetry. I am still learning the art of novel writing.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jim, you definitely leave us with more question than answers, but you also leave us with an uneasy feeling that foul play might have been at work. Something, I always suspected. Hettie's death was far too convenient. But I rest for now. A great build up to what is happening next. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Hi Jim, you definitely leave us with more question than answers, but you also leave us with an uneasy feeling that foul play might have been at work. Something, I always suspected. Hettie's death was far too convenient. But I rest for now. A great build up to what is happening next. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Glad to have caught your imagination with this episode. Thank you for another encouraging review.
Comment from Veronica Grace
It's my first chapter, but I understood the storyline. Your writing and storytelling makes for an enjoyable read. I see nothing to change or correct. Excellent read. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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It's my first chapter, but I understood the storyline. Your writing and storytelling makes for an enjoyable read. I see nothing to change or correct. Excellent read. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Thank you for stopping by to review. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Oh no! I don't like the sound of that.
"There seemed little doubt in his mind now, that the arrival of Thomas Warburton at the regimental depot of The Mercian Rifles, was closely linked to the death of Hettie Mansfield."
I can think of several reasons this could be a bad sign, then I think of the fact Tom never returned and he was suicidal as well. Hmmmm. Interesting, Jim. Well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Oh no! I don't like the sound of that.
"There seemed little doubt in his mind now, that the arrival of Thomas Warburton at the regimental depot of The Mercian Rifles, was closely linked to the death of Hettie Mansfield."
I can think of several reasons this could be a bad sign, then I think of the fact Tom never returned and he was suicidal as well. Hmmmm. Interesting, Jim. Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Beware of jumping to conclusions. The path is littered with red herrings, but you never know. Many thanks for this concerned analysis of the story.
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I like to try to unravel the mystery as we read the story. LOL Hope you don't mind. :)
Comment from estory
I thought you did a great job orchestrating this chapter, the interplay between descriptions of the weather and landscape provided a super underpinning of the theme, the examination of the death of Hettie Mansfield, thought to be a suicide. I think the detailed descriptions of the foggy weather and the torturous ride up the ridge, and the fog shrouded landscape was a great metaphor for the mystery, and the lifting of the fog to reveal the sharp outlines of Jericho Farm and the impressive ridge of Titterstone an equally powerful metaphor for the impending revealing of the mystery. We end up clearly focused on Jericho Farm and the suspense at the end of the chapter was super too. estory
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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I thought you did a great job orchestrating this chapter, the interplay between descriptions of the weather and landscape provided a super underpinning of the theme, the examination of the death of Hettie Mansfield, thought to be a suicide. I think the detailed descriptions of the foggy weather and the torturous ride up the ridge, and the fog shrouded landscape was a great metaphor for the mystery, and the lifting of the fog to reveal the sharp outlines of Jericho Farm and the impressive ridge of Titterstone an equally powerful metaphor for the impending revealing of the mystery. We end up clearly focused on Jericho Farm and the suspense at the end of the chapter was super too. estory
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for a six star review that has caught my metaphorical intentions to a 'T'. Few have done so and analysed it so clearly as you have done in this review.
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Years at college learning to decipher prose at the hands of my teachers, Diana ben Merre and Doug Friedlander, got me to this point. estory