Reviews from

Where Are All The Children

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Heartbreaking Decision"
A vigilante takes down trafficing rings.

18 total reviews 
Comment from forestport12
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow! That final scene had me. You are a natural at making the scene, character, dialogue so taut and realistic and then you throw in present tense to this thriller of a story. I think you found your stride and style of present tense to put the pow and wow in this. I'm sure to see your entries in the book of the month. MY goodness. I'm not easy to please when reading, Misty. Know this about me, I'm like a 4th grader with my attention span. If you have me, you have the adults in the room.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much for such an excellent review and all your wonderful praise. You boosted my confidence two hundred percent, definitely made my month. I won't be able to get my head through the door before long.
    Thank you again for all your support, your marvelous words and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care. It'd be great if your prediction is right. With all the talent on here, just being nominated would be an honor.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Mistydawn
I was moved of how you gave my horribly thoughts that Anna would have an abortion. I was re-leaved she wanted the baby.
It was wonderful that Aljendro whenHe falls to his knees and says, "I love you Anna, and our baby too."
Gert

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much for reading my chapter and such a sweet review. She always wanted the baby, she just didn't want to see it suffer. That's what made it so difficult. Aljendro is a sweet man, would do anything in the world for her.
reply by Gert sherwood on 03-Jan-2021
    You are most Welcome Mistydawn
    Gert
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This Chapter of the Mystery and Crime Fiction speaks about a decision in a sensitive taletelling, progressive plot development, realistically passionate dialogues, good beginning and s curious ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much for reading my chapter. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. This was one of many issues, poor Anna had to face. The son helps her through a lot.
    Thank you again for reading my chapter and such an encouraging review. It always means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a beautifully written chapter as all of them are. I'm so glad she didn't go through with the abortion. You tell this story with such skill and show the emotion of your characters. I always enjoy what you write.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much for such a warm, encouraging review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Her son, was a gift from God, helped her through a lot.
    Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

So many times in life we all have been seconds away from making the wrong decisions, many that could change our whole lives or even take the life of another. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much for such a fantastic review. I'm happy to know you think it deserves such high marks. Isn't that the truth. Thank goodness for that reasonable voice in our heads, our guardian angel. Mine probably says, thank god she's finally asleep, lol.
    Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I remember when God changed my mind about abortion, I had a wrongful fixation that it was morally and justifiably Ok. But somewhere in that dark, dark philosophical night He had changed my my mind, I blurted out "Abortion is murder" with life there's always hope, in death there is none, well done, good taling, blessings Roy
Typo : He's a tall, (colossal) of a man. Colossus?

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 Comment Written 03-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for catching my mistake. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I wouldn't have an abortion myself, but I think a woman has a right to decide. I say this thinking about the baby who'll only suffer until it dies, who'll starve to death, or grow up in horrid circumstances who'll life is nothing but pain, torture.Yes, there's adoption, but what if that isn't an option? That and remember what happened when abortion was illegal. All the women who died at the hands of a butcher.
    Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
reply by royowen on 03-Jan-2021
    Someone else?s life is not ours to take, it?s still murder, it?s not the child?s fault, it?s amazing how, I thought like you, opinions don?t give a life to someone from whom it?s stolen.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

oh, Misty, this is a beautiful, chapter. It's so full of grief and deep agonising and then it ends on such a beautiful note. What a beautiful read. It's so very well written. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much for such a marvelous review and for such kind words. I was hoping I could get the emotions right. Let the reader get a sense of her inner turmoil, her pain, heartache.
    Thank you again for such a fantastic review, all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Misty, I like your story. It is real and emotional. I do not want to nit-pick, or offend people. The main issues I see in your chapters are: the inconsistency in speaking present or past tense, and a few editing things (we all make those). I suggest going through it again.

Please, let me know if these types of reviews are not wanted.

notes:

The weeks {drag} by

-dragged

I recall what I've been through these past few weeks. How I desperately needed her advice.
-I would separate this as it is different actors.-
"Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"I figured {you }tell me when you're ready, but seeing how glum you're getting, I {figure} I better speak up; let you know you're not alone."

- you would or you'd
-figured

Watch your tenses.

I sob, throwing myself into her arms.

- now you're in present tense.

- you have to pick one.

She wraps her arms around me and pulls me in close. "There, there, child, {It'll} be alright."

- it'll

"I don't know how I can go through with this{.}" I repeat.

- comma

"I haven't got all day{.}" the man grumbles.

- comma

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 Comment Written 03-Jan-2021


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2021
    Thank you so much for your helpful review. I appreciate all your help, It's how I learn and grow. I see I'm back to making old mistakes, tense confusion. I thought I was past that, darn it. Back to the drawing board, I guess.
    Thank you again for all your help, and support. It always means a lot to me, take care.
reply by lancellot on 03-Jan-2021
    You're very welcome.