Where Are All The Children
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Historical Take down"A vigilante takes down trafficing rings.
12 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Misty,
Hurray! This means at least some of the kids are now safe. Are there more? Nicely done.
Notes:
1.) The officers have had extensive training for situations like this, but (understand) a
2.) dirty bowls scattered across the top, vari(ous) plates and dishes are strung out
3.) The frightened youngster glances at a room furthest down the hall.
--> 'farther' for distances
4.) She grabs, Toni's arm. "He... He has my baby sister in there."
--> no comma after 'grabs'
5.) The captain reaches for his radio. (")Suspect on foot heading South on Ash Street. I repeat he's heading South on Ash Street. He's wearing jeans, white sneakers and no shirt.(")
Thanks!
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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Misty,
Hurray! This means at least some of the kids are now safe. Are there more? Nicely done.
Notes:
1.) The officers have had extensive training for situations like this, but (understand) a
2.) dirty bowls scattered across the top, vari(ous) plates and dishes are strung out
3.) The frightened youngster glances at a room furthest down the hall.
--> 'farther' for distances
4.) She grabs, Toni's arm. "He... He has my baby sister in there."
--> no comma after 'grabs'
5.) The captain reaches for his radio. (")Suspect on foot heading South on Ash Street. I repeat he's heading South on Ash Street. He's wearing jeans, white sneakers and no shirt.(")
Thanks!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter. Your help is always greatly appreciated. The officers don't realize it, but this is just the beginning.
Thank you again for all your suggestions. I wouldn't have learned as much as I have if it wasn't for you.
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Oohhhhh... how sweet!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Just think, this does actually happen. It really gets me that people can be like that with children, they should all be thrown to the aligators, or something equally nasty. This was a really excellent chapter, Misty, I'm so pleased they got those slimeballs. :)) Sandra xx
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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Just think, this does actually happen. It really gets me that people can be like that with children, they should all be thrown to the aligators, or something equally nasty. This was a really excellent chapter, Misty, I'm so pleased they got those slimeballs. :)) Sandra xx
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Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for such a kind review. It'd be cruel and inhumane to the poor creatures feeding them such slime, lol. This is just the beginning.
Thank you again for all your support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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LOL! Yes, I guess I could be strung up by the cruelty to animal brigade. xx
