The Boat
A 5-7-5 poetry contest entry.214 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
I like the questions your words bring to the reader's mind. The image of the pier is reflective of life,on our journey we often do not know why we chose a particular path. Excellent poetic form.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I like the questions your words bring to the reader's mind. The image of the pier is reflective of life,on our journey we often do not know why we chose a particular path. Excellent poetic form.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you for your complement mermaids :P much appreciated.
Comment from livelylinda
Gabriel, in a 5/7/5 poem, there is little room to move people in a meaningful way so each word and thought must be carefully written. I've already answered for myself, the question that is posed here so it didn't have any particular meaning for me. Also, in a 5/7/5 poem, I do not like to see lines beginning in a capital letter and do not like the use of punctuation. I'm sure that this was important to you. I'm sorry that it didn't reach me in the same way. Keep writing, Gabriel. livelylinda
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Gabriel, in a 5/7/5 poem, there is little room to move people in a meaningful way so each word and thought must be carefully written. I've already answered for myself, the question that is posed here so it didn't have any particular meaning for me. Also, in a 5/7/5 poem, I do not like to see lines beginning in a capital letter and do not like the use of punctuation. I'm sure that this was important to you. I'm sorry that it didn't reach me in the same way. Keep writing, Gabriel. livelylinda
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Its ok and thank you for giving me a 4 star anyways.
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Most of the punctuation was used for extra stress on the alliteration and the poetic elements. I capatilized the letters because of the extra stress it provides. No need to apologize for your opinion.
Comment from justatuna
I believe this to be an excellent write. The message is brilliant. The only reason I didn't give it a 6 is because it rhymed. I know this might sound silly and certainly it's just an opinion. But to offer some contrast in these three lines would have made it exceptional. The message was well received.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I believe this to be an excellent write. The message is brilliant. The only reason I didn't give it a 6 is because it rhymed. I know this might sound silly and certainly it's just an opinion. But to offer some contrast in these three lines would have made it exceptional. The message was well received.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I completely understand your opinion (personally I despise free-verse poetry) The real reason why I made it rhyme was because I had the option to and it made it more difficult to make. If I made it rhyme, have an alliteration, have an actual meaning and depth, and good flow, all into three lines? There is not much more challenge i could place upon myself. Thank you for the Five (most would have given a four based on opinion)
- G
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Opinions....
Judge not, right? Can't do anything but judge myself.
I really believe this a brilliant poem. Again, the contrast would have done it for me, but I certainly understand your response. I'll look for more of your work. Be good.
Comment from giovannimariatommaso
Excellent entry and one that is thought provoking as well as easy to read and understand causing all who read, as themselves to be the master and the boat, to question in retrospect, "How did I truly get here?"
No spelling or grammatical errors & perfect 5/7/5
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Excellent entry and one that is thought provoking as well as easy to read and understand causing all who read, as themselves to be the master and the boat, to question in retrospect, "How did I truly get here?"
No spelling or grammatical errors & perfect 5/7/5
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much on remarking that my poem was excellent! much appreciated and that its perfect? :P you flatter me!
- G
Comment from Caressa_08
A very interesting read, almost like the very old Alfred Hitchcock series, if you have ever seen or heard of this author with a very British accent as a lot of his stories, seemed so strange & spooky at the end..And, all played out on TV so many years, & you might see them on youtube, though not certain...
Excellent read & mystery with this 5-7-5 poem.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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A very interesting read, almost like the very old Alfred Hitchcock series, if you have ever seen or heard of this author with a very British accent as a lot of his stories, seemed so strange & spooky at the end..And, all played out on TV so many years, & you might see them on youtube, though not certain...
Excellent read & mystery with this 5-7-5 poem.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you for seeing the mystery aspect to my poem, I appreciate the review and I'm truly British at heart so :P
- G
Comment from Starlit Ink
I do see what this is saying. We can strive to get somewhere, and when we do, it is hard to know what direction to go in next. This reminds me of the saying: "be careful what you wish for." I think it is a good finish to end with a question on this one.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I do see what this is saying. We can strive to get somewhere, and when we do, it is hard to know what direction to go in next. This reminds me of the saying: "be careful what you wish for." I think it is a good finish to end with a question on this one.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Yeah, thank you for your advice, and your insight. Review is very appreciated.
- G
Comment from barleygirl
Nicely written 5-7-5, with the added plus of nice rhyming, too. The message is universal, for most of us, that is! I like this well-balanced poem. Good luck!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Nicely written 5-7-5, with the added plus of nice rhyming, too. The message is universal, for most of us, that is! I like this well-balanced poem. Good luck!
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Very appreciative! :P I love all the responses! I really liked your review, wonderful.
- G
Comment from Matoshka
Just a thought provoking idea. Yes, many interpretations here, mine I would like to think, Is God picked you up in your sleep and set you there, to see His beauty and power. I enjoyed this very much. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Just a thought provoking idea. Yes, many interpretations here, mine I would like to think, Is God picked you up in your sleep and set you there, to see His beauty and power. I enjoyed this very much. Blessings and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Wow, this has to be the most beautiful interpretation that I have seen. Very many thanks.
- G
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You are so welcome and so happy you enjoyed my interpretation, the Lord is always on my mind. Blessings
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You just got a fan! :P
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Blessings my friend, welcome aboard.
Comment from SteveY
Boy your author notes is what for me sets this one apart. Without them I was kind of confused about what this could mean, but with the notes it makes perfect sense.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Boy your author notes is what for me sets this one apart. Without them I was kind of confused about what this could mean, but with the notes it makes perfect sense.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much, I made the mistake of not having the author's notes for a while, and I felt like if people could relate to what I saw in it as well as what they do, it would aid them.
- G
Comment from TXANG1128
the shortness allowed an effortless read... Thanks for sharing your work.
I love the way your story was somehow presented in these tight constraints.. .love it
Angela
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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the shortness allowed an effortless read... Thanks for sharing your work.
I love the way your story was somehow presented in these tight constraints.. .love it
Angela
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Much appreciated, its very difficult to make a poem with these constraints and still tell a story and give a lesson.
- G
