Little ones
Viewing comments for Prologue "cocoon-life"5/7/5 poems
265 total reviews
Comment from PoeticXscape
A very good piece. I enjoyed the image it brought to mind. A whole story in a few words. I look forward to more work and thanks for being a fan.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
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A very good piece. I enjoyed the image it brought to mind. A whole story in a few words. I look forward to more work and thanks for being a fan.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
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Thanks for the time and kind words:-)
Comment from Starlit Ink
If only we could stay in that cocoon forever, we wouldn't have to know how the world really is. I like how this 5-7-5 makes one yearn for more innocent days that were carefree and magical. Too bad that when we spread our wings, we have to also see the evil. Good write.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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If only we could stay in that cocoon forever, we wouldn't have to know how the world really is. I like how this 5-7-5 makes one yearn for more innocent days that were carefree and magical. Too bad that when we spread our wings, we have to also see the evil. Good write.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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Thanks for sharing your view and kind feedback:-)
Comment from Cariboubill
Good thinking about living in the cocoon. I wonder if the butterfly thinks about what life will be like when it emerges.
Good 5-7-5 syllable count. It's satisfying to say so much in so few words.
...Bill
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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Good thinking about living in the cocoon. I wonder if the butterfly thinks about what life will be like when it emerges.
Good 5-7-5 syllable count. It's satisfying to say so much in so few words.
...Bill
Comment Written 24-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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I adore your kind rating and fill my heart with joy.i appreciate your wordr very much.thanks a lot:-)
Comment from Solitude Poet
hey there!
Good contest entry! I appreciate the thought and your autor notes are sensible...
Great going! and Welcome to FanStory! I'm just a month senior to you in this website.
Hope it is helpful and I've entered for the same contest. If you find time, check out my poem too and any suggestions are kindly accepted!
All the best in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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hey there!
Good contest entry! I appreciate the thought and your autor notes are sensible...
Great going! and Welcome to FanStory! I'm just a month senior to you in this website.
Hope it is helpful and I've entered for the same contest. If you find time, check out my poem too and any suggestions are kindly accepted!
All the best in the contest! :)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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thanks for your appreciation:).
i will surely look at your work
Comment from SueZen
Ohla, sends shivers down my spine ! No wonder 'recognized' as truly deserves to be ! So much intens feeling expressed in so few words...it truly 'shines', delicately conveyes the subtle sensitivity of soul & its desire to harmonize, find its way in a dualistic reality, often indeed harsh world...a very spiritual poem that 'rings home' to my soul & the 'child in me', its innocence, trust, unconditional love/faith, authentic Nature, etc...The author notes & beautiful photo add to the WHOLE & remind us of & to...you know what...
Essence of poem evokes Rumi's wonderful poetry !
Wish good luck in contest !
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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Ohla, sends shivers down my spine ! No wonder 'recognized' as truly deserves to be ! So much intens feeling expressed in so few words...it truly 'shines', delicately conveyes the subtle sensitivity of soul & its desire to harmonize, find its way in a dualistic reality, often indeed harsh world...a very spiritual poem that 'rings home' to my soul & the 'child in me', its innocence, trust, unconditional love/faith, authentic Nature, etc...The author notes & beautiful photo add to the WHOLE & remind us of & to...you know what...
Essence of poem evokes Rumi's wonderful poetry !
Wish good luck in contest !
Comment Written 24-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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I can't express my happiness and gratitude for your such generous,insight analysis of my work.it takes me to the cloud nine.
I heartily thank you for an exceptional review.
Its nice to know that it could take you back to the past.looking forward to learn a lot from you:-)
With affection
Anupam
Original Message
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cocoon-life has just received a six star review!
sorcieresue wrote:
Ohla, sends shivers down my spine ! No wonder 'recognized' as truly deserves to be ! So much intens feeling expressed in so few words...it truly 'shines', delicately conveyes the subtle sensitivity of soul & its desire to harmonize, find its way in a dualistic reality, often indeed harsh world...a very spiritual poem that 'rings home' to my soul & the 'child in me', its innocence, trust, unconditional love/faith, authentic Nature, etc...The author notes & beautiful photo add to the WHOLE & remind us of & to...you know what...
Essence of poem evokes Rumi's wonderful poetry !
Wish good luck in contest !
Comment from Spitfire
A lot of in between the line thinking here. While we're still young and protected by parents(in the cocoon) we imagine the bright full moon of independence. Easy to see why you won.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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A lot of in between the line thinking here. While we're still young and protected by parents(in the cocoon) we imagine the bright full moon of independence. Easy to see why you won.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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I respect your generous words and the way visualised it.thanks a lot:-).
But what did i win?
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I misread it. I thought I saw that you were contest winner.
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Anupam
Your poem in this 5-7-5 contest shows great wit and optimism for our world. Your notes are excellent in describing your thinking and concept. The presentation is lovely ... a great image.
While the concept is wonderful, I feel "yet" seems to be out-of-place here. It is your poem, I do not mean to re-write, however you might consider re-phrasing. Just as an example - "bathing in sweet moon's shimmer".
Usually, I would suggest not having two gerunds (ing's) in a three line poem. These are considered a weaker form of language, though they work well when used to create an "alluring sound" to awaken the audial senses.
Yes, it would be nice to return to the protection of our cocoon when life get's tough. To find those beautiful imaginings we need to develop many strong attributes as we discover the reality of life.
Well done. Good luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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Hi Anupam
Your poem in this 5-7-5 contest shows great wit and optimism for our world. Your notes are excellent in describing your thinking and concept. The presentation is lovely ... a great image.
While the concept is wonderful, I feel "yet" seems to be out-of-place here. It is your poem, I do not mean to re-write, however you might consider re-phrasing. Just as an example - "bathing in sweet moon's shimmer".
Usually, I would suggest not having two gerunds (ing's) in a three line poem. These are considered a weaker form of language, though they work well when used to create an "alluring sound" to awaken the audial senses.
Yes, it would be nice to return to the protection of our cocoon when life get's tough. To find those beautiful imaginings we need to develop many strong attributes as we discover the reality of life.
Well done. Good luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 23-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2013
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I appreciate your criticism and praise both.thanks for such an analytical review:-)
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I have made some changes,will soon update
Comment from Jose Saic
A pretty short poem that evokes peaceful moments inchildhood,or maybe when we were inside of our mother.
Very poetic expression of something we wish to be in some moments of our life.
I like it.
Congratulations
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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A pretty short poem that evokes peaceful moments inchildhood,or maybe when we were inside of our mother.
Very poetic expression of something we wish to be in some moments of our life.
I like it.
Congratulations
Comment Written 23-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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I am so touched by your positive and motivational words.
Thanks a lot for your exceptional rating:-)
Comment from ladyekels4
Great little poem in which you perfectly describe the innocence of childhood. I guess it would be good if we could return to it when life gets tough sometimes. Syllable count spot on :), Splendid picture too. Thanks for sharing. - Kelly
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Great little poem in which you perfectly describe the innocence of childhood. I guess it would be good if we could return to it when life gets tough sometimes. Syllable count spot on :), Splendid picture too. Thanks for sharing. - Kelly
Comment Written 23-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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I adore your views and kind rating.thanks:-)
Comment from Mike K2
I totally enjoyed this well written poem and they concept you broach, and in a sense, it also strikes me of life before birth as well. I also enjoyed reading the notes, and to me that childhood is to be remembered, savored so we never forget they type of life we should strive for.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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I totally enjoyed this well written poem and they concept you broach, and in a sense, it also strikes me of life before birth as well. I also enjoyed reading the notes, and to me that childhood is to be remembered, savored so we never forget they type of life we should strive for.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2013
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Its nice to know that you enjoyed it.thanks for your positive review:-)
